The 'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Dress Up and Get Scary
The 'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Dress Up and Get Scary
It's Halloween. Wait, is it? Yes -- pumpkins clear that up. At a pumpkin carving party, Family Friend Dolores brings up the christening. We will be talking about it for weeks. Way to bring down the Fall Activities, Dolores! Nobody knows what/who caused the fight yet. Maybe Joe is jealous of Teresa's cookbook? That must be it.

As dictated by the script, Caroline brings up that the Posche Fashion Show (YES YES YES!) is coming up in two days. Posche + Fashion Show = Gloriousness. Meanwhile, Melissa and her Joe go to Kathy's for dinner. They're still feeling butthurt about the christening, too. Joe and Melissa are wearing matching beanies to prove it. Evidently they are going to burgle a jewelry store after this.

RHONJcatburglars.jpgMelissa and Kathy go to Posche to try on stuff for the fashion show. Because Posche is the place to be (or because she heard they were filming there), Kim G. shows up. She walks in and immediately asks about the christening. Who told her? Maybe she's like the White Witch, she has ears everywhere -- even the trees are her allies.

Desperately, hilariously, Kim G. takes a few wide swings at Teresa before leaving. Kim, you're really ruining Posche's conversion rate.

RHONJKimGscript.jpgCaroline's daughter, Lauren, has her own beauty line, and will be doing the makeup for the Posche fashion show. I guess Danielle's big blowout with Teresa didn't ruin the reputation of THE Event of the Season! By the way, the fashion show to end all fashion shows is happening at the Brownstone. It's the perfect Jersey storm.

On Halloween night, the kids go trick-or-treating and Teresa dresses up as "Super T." In Teresa's words, "Super T flies around the house, keeping it all together." The girls are going as rock stars, except for Adriana who is going as "a gym teacher." I hope it's actually a Sue Sylvester costume. What little baby wants to be a gym teacher?

Once the kids have done their thing, it's time for Joe and Melissa Gorga to get dressed up. Melissa is a sexy cat, and Joe is going as Snooki. Is the whole Jersey Shore thing popular in real New Jersey, too? Joe is feeling sexy and it's making me feel weird.

Kim D. shows up to the party as "half a hooker, kinda" with Kim G. in tow as a way-less-sexy-cat. Oh my god I LIVE for Kim G. as a cat. Kathy is a Na'vi woman. You know, Avatar. In the spirit of the Na'vi, Kathy wants to reach out to Teresa and make peace.

Teresa goes into the fashion show not wanting to talk about the fight, but Kathy wants to talk about it. We'll see who wins!

Kim G. is a total all-star in this episode. And by "all-star" I guess I mean barnacle. Teresa, Caroline, and Kim D. make fun of Kim G's prom dress as she shmoozes with her new imaginary friends Melissa and Kathy.

Caroline is not interested in being friends with Kathy, which is too bad because I like them both and I think they'd get along. Enough talk, more WALK!

Jacqueline walked and felt like an idiot, then Melissa walked and felt like a superstar. She walked the runway twice in the same outfit. This was a rowdy fashion show, but at least no one's weave got pulled out. Why is this fashion show even happening? I shouldn't ask questions.

As all post-fashion show arguments start on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Melissa decides it's "the right thing to do" to go say hi to Teresa. Then Kathy approaches Teresa about the christening and Teresa is NOT having it. Something Kathy said (about taking care of the little gym teacher during the christening) flipped the switch in Teresa, and Teresa pronounces that she is done.

Fortunately, Caroline will not have another explosive episode at the Brownstone, so she makes aggressive efforts to diffuse the situation. Not here, not now, not again! She is successful ... for now.

(Images courtesy of Bravo)