'RHONJ' Tell All Part 1 Recap: A Nationally Televised Sex Talk and an Awkward Pose
'RHONJ' Tell All Part 1 Recap: A Nationally Televised Sex Talk and an Awkward Pose
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. Feeling down that the Garden State divas' antics are over? Sure, you've got spicy ladies of Miami to fill part of the void, but avid fans need a steady infusion of housewife drama. Lucky for you, Bravo knows you crave more, more, more. So, instead of letting some choice Jersey moments languish on the cutting room floor, they pieced together two "bonus" episodes that include the further misadventures of the RHONJ cast. Here are highlights from The Real Housewives of New Jersey "Tell All, Part 1".

Are You Smarter Than a Sixth Grader? 

An inebriated (Is there any other kind?) Joe Giudice and Rosie have Gia quiz them using questions from her homework. Granted, there are plenty of people who don't know the capital of New Hampshire, but they probably do know, unlike Joe, that it isn't Rhode Island. Rosie missed the news that Pluto is no longer a planet, while Joe thought the moon was the closest planet to the sun. They redeemed themselves somewhat by being able to name the country's first president. Genuinely stumped by questions posed by a sixth grader, Rosie was forced to face the fact that she might not be the brains of the family.

A Nationally Televised Sex Talk

The only thing worse for a teenage boy than enduring a sex talk with his father, is having this intimate conversation on national television. You can multiply that embarrassment by 100 if the dad in question is Rich Wakile who included his horny sidekick, Joe Gorga, in the dialogue. They questioned Joseph on everything from the anatomy of his private parts to whether or not he had mastered the skill of self-satisfaction. As a mortified Kathy eavesdropped, Joe and Rich flirted with the idea of expanding Joseph's sexual awakening by purchasing him a blow-up doll or taking him to a strip club. A wise man once said, "You can get laid as much as possible and always be a gentleman." That man was Rich Wakile.

The Amish Country 

During her research into treatments for autism, Jacqueline discovered there could be some benefits in having Nicholas imbibe camel milk. To get this exotic elixir, the Lauritas rented a bus and took Albie, Victoria, Christopher, Rosie and Joseph to Amish country. Under the best of circumstances, this group would have been out of their element. But, when they arrived at a seemingly abandoned farm with the proprietor Noah nowhere to be seen, Chris was forced to procure a bottle of the milk from a bucket inside a shed. Jacqueline has serious second thoughts, and the discovery of burnt camel remains put everyone on edge. These weren't your typical quilt making, shoo-fly pie baking, barn raising Amish. This was like deliverance minus the zippers.

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Downward-Facing Dog

While viewers sat through equine therapy and drum circles, they missed one of the more entertaining group activities that took place at the spa in Arizona - couples yoga. Rosie, who for some unknown reason was partnered with Chris Laurita, got a bit handsy. Joe Gorga and Joe Giudice took downward-facing dog to an, if not unsavory level, an inappropriate one.

Vicious Tongue Lashings

Even if these ladies aren't fighting with each other, they can still find themselves caught up in someone else's drama. Kim D. loves to mix it up, and she got her chance at a charity event held by her frenemy Jennifer "Jen" Dalton. Jennifer told Melissa about the girl's night out during which Melissa's fidelity to Joe was called into question. While Jen tried to paint herself as altruistic to Melissa, her real motivation was cold hard cash. She didn't want to risk the Gorgas using another real estate agent to sell their home, causing her to miss out on a hefty commission. After trash talking about each other all night, the two engaged in equally vicious tongue lashings. After Kim gave Jen a mild but unmistakable shove, she was unceremoniously ejected from the party.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs part 2 of the Tell All Sunday, October 20 at 8pm on Bravo. You can set a reminder after adding the show to your personal Watch List when you download the free BuddyTV Guide App. 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)