This week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, some words were thrown around. Some made more sense than others, and a lot of them had to be bleeped out. Here are some of my favorite, and most poignant, words thrown around by the True Poets of New Jersey.
Teresa: "I used to be able to spend what I wanted, when I wanted. Now [Joe]'s like, 'don't spend a lot of money!'"
But we don't listen to Joe. The pizzeria is raking in the dough! GET IT? DOUGH?!
Teresa: "I just wish that it could go back to the way it was and Dina being around again." Me too, Teresa. Me too.
Danielle: "I believe the really only safe way to have sex is abstinence." My brain just exploded. Let's put that on a poster and hang it in the school nurse's office along with "my favorite sport is reading!"
Danielle: "Temptations are not something I'm worried about with Christine. She's got a great life."
Sorry, Danielle, but Christine is a model. Guys are going to want to do her. Until they find out who her mom is, of course.
Kim G.: "I hear you guys! I know somebody's here!" Kim, stop creeping. She's got eyes everywhere, and her camera-sense is tingling.
Kim G.: "I feel bad for me, that I'm like, in this situation in the middle." I feel bad for you, too, Kim, but only because your desperation is showing.
Joe: "I'm like King Kong. I might just start going crazy." Oooh, foreshadowing and self-awareness all in one!
Danielle: "I just want to smell her. I want to smell my mom." Kim: "Ooh boy." For once I relate to Kim G.
Caroline: "Audriana is just like a little porcelain doll."
Or a little vinyl doll with a "lifelike baby
Danielle: "Kim G. She's not ... who I think she was." And just as my brain had re-formed from the last explosion ...
Danny: "So, you make up your mind and you let me know how we'll handle it." Ah Danny, such an enabler. And totally willing to murder someone.
Kim G.: "Hi, I was passing by, I mean like I have to talk to you. I am like desperate. I hate her f***ing guts." What? Change your jogging route, Kim.
Kim G.: "I cannot believe that I am here and I am discussing this woman again." Really? You can't believe it? How long have you lived in this neighborhood?
Kim G.: "She's acting like an ass. An ass acts like that." "She can go scratch my ass." Kim spends a lot of time on the farm.
And that whole fight between Kim and Danielle was just nuts.
What were your favorite moments?
(images courtesy of Bravo)