Battle of the Christmas Eve Galas on 'Real Housewives of New Jersey'
Battle of the Christmas Eve Galas on 'Real Housewives of New Jersey'
Last time we saw our New Jersey Housewives, Kim G. was causing a stir at the Gorga Christmas party. They've already kicked Monica out, and now it's time to put Kim G. out as well. Every Kim G. episode is my favorite.

"Kim G. is harmless," Melissa tells Teresa, but Teresa disagrees. And by the look of Kim G's red, blotchy face, a drunk Kim G. will be trouble. Teresa is only fueling the flames, poking fun at Kim G. when she's only feet away. Lauren and Caroline take matters into their own hands, putting Kim G. in her place. Teresa and Joe Giudice make a quick, wise exit.

Caroline and Kim G. start arguing, so Chris and Albie step in to escort Kim G. out of the house. Oh my god, Kim G. has a bodyguard! His name is John, and she brought him to the party. Chris talks to Kim, and I don't really understand what's happening. Albie pulls Chris away, as he's talking to Kim about his friendship with her son Johnny. Ashley even got into it a little bit, for whatever reason. No weaves were pulled.

"Ding dong, the witch is dead," Teresa proclaims. Wait, did someone kill Kim G.? As Kim leaves, the party agrees that she was only there to start trouble. Most people would receive the benefit of the doubt, but not Kim. Then people got mad at Chris for being nice to her because of his friendship with her son, Johnny.

Overall, Melissa declares the party a success. Toys for the kids, no one got punched, we're good!

The next day, at Kathy's house, Kathy and her mother tell the tale of long-standing family grudges. The Gorga family has a history of not speaking for years over small matters. I have a personal history of having very little idea what any given argument on this show is really about.

Caroline's back on her radio show, and sitting next to her is her odd friend, Dolores. The topic is divorce, and Dolores is divorced, so that's why she's there. For whatever reason, Jacqueline's husband Chris calls in to talk about his struggling relationship with Ashley. Caroline realizes it's her brother, Chris, so she is particularly moved by the story. Advice-wise, there's really nothing you can do about Ashley!

'Twas the night before Christmas, so Teresa is making a bunch of fish dishes, and her children are dressed to the nines. Meanwhile, Melissa tells her children about Jesus's birthday. Joe and Melissa agree to go to the Giudice party for an hour, but the Joes hate each other. Plus, there's Kathy's party to go to.

Caroline is also having a party for her family. It's more of a Manzo-Laurita party, though. I like the Manzos this season. They're fun! The family goes around the table sharing New Year's Resolutions, and Ashley's is for Chris to like her. Not really a resolution, Ashley. She certainly isn't making a New Year's effort to be more likeable...

Melissa is trying to be very good, bringing the kind of cookies Teresa asked for. I still don't understand why Teresa thinks Melissa, and not her husband, is the problem. But if she brings the right cookies, she can't dress to Teresa's liking. Then Teresa's mom came in dressed as Santa but the jig was up before it even began. I hope Cousin Rosie dresses like Santa at Kathy's party ...

Man, the Gorgas love their hats. Eating his bounty of fish, Joe Giudice says some truly awful things about Joe and Melissa Gorga. Joe Gorga opts to go to Kathy's party. TO BE CONTINUED! Next week, the Gorgas receive more hats for Christmas!

(Image courtesy of Bravo)