As threatened at the end of Part 1, Tareq Salahi comes out on his own to talk to Andy Cohen and the Real Housewives of DC. Tareq thinks it's shameful that they don't believe that Michaele has MS, which is SO last week we're over it. Then he accused Lynda of being "obsessed" with Michaele! What a Regina George thing to say. And the lies continue, they didn't pay for Paul Wharton's party and claim to have donated wine but the venue said they didn't get any wine. Then they never provided Stacie with a line of credit or anything. SO crazy.
Then the house they were in for their audition video wasn't even theirs! What! And Michaele accuses Cat of living in Lynda's basement. It's such craziness and can never be reconciled because the Salahis are . . . pathological liars? Whatever they are, it's creepy. Andy Cohen said it best: "I don't think we're getting anywhere."
So then all
the husbands came out (and no ex-husbands). So it must be time to talk about Tareq's accusation of Lolly stealing a car for a "joy ride" at the polo cup. And it's another facebook argument. But after all that cacophony, it's time to answer the big question: did they or didn't they sneak in to all those parties? I have a feeling we won't get an answer.
Tareq says Jason made up all that stuff about the secret service asking the Salahis to leave. Andy Cohen has it on authority that the Salahis were, in fact, asked to leave. It's getting rowdy and exhausting. Cat said, "you never have any real answers and you never, ever tell the f***ing truth." Then Lynda called it a goat rodeo. It is!
Let's talk about the State Dinner. Were they invited? Do they even have invitations? Watching them talk about it is so weird I don't even know what to say. Are they aliens? Like, from another planet? Good news, all the e-mails with their big invitation are in their effing book (Cirque du Salahi). Better news, Andy read it so we don't have to. The e-mail is definitely not an invitation, at all. They say they're in, Andy says he didn't get that from the e-mails. It's "a combination of optimism, delusion, and chutzpah on the highest level," in Andy's words.
Then everyone yelled at each other for a really long time, basically. And Michaele yelled to quiet the lies in her brain. Mary accused the Salahis of "hijacking our show," which is also a little delusional because, to be fair, without the Salahis even fewer people would have watched it. Then we learn that Lynda and Tareq were engaged in an altercation, during which wine and water were thrown in each others' faces. Lynda comes right out with it, calling Tareq slime. Allegedly, Tareq pushed Michaele out of the way before he threw the wine at Lynda. God, I wish we could see it!
What can even be said about this reunion? It was way more nuts than the entire season, which was a little weird and lackluster. I just hope the Salahis go away. Far, far away.
(image courtesy of Bravo)