I'm so ready for the Real Housewives of DC
reunion. Michaele might actually crack that plastic face into a frown, Lynda calls Michaele's MS "BS," and its just getting crazier. First of all, Mary and Lynda are registered Republicans (wha?), and Stacie and Michaele are Democrats. I'm so confused. But let's talk about MS. Michaele says she came out with it to get a jump on the media. She was "healthy" during filming and off steroids and this and that. I don't know if we can believe anything she says, though! Also, the other Housewives are rolling their eyes. I feel bad, I want to believe someone when they say they have MS . . .
Lynda says, "MS are her initials and the rest is BS . . . it's a very serious disease and to use that in any way to promote fame or your book is very disturbing to me." Eeek I don't know! Lynda says doctors she's spoken to doubt it. And then Michaele made fun of Lynda blessing her house. This is still quite civil, but the most cutthroat we've seen the DC Housewives. Mary says she wants Michaele use it as a platform and Michaele says (in a Freudian slip?), "I already have for the last twelve of my lives." ACK! Yes, Michaele is delusional but I don't know about doubting a serious medical claim.
So, did Charles and Cat break up because of the show? Not exactly, but it was a catalyst. But enough about that, as the conversation shifts to black people. First, we take a look at Lynda's beau, Ebong, which brings us to the DC "race relations." Tyra! Cat dogged Tyra, but let's not forget Mary's crazy talk about "integrating the salons." Stacie, who has been very careful with her words, brings up that she has never technically called Cat a "racist," she brought that word into the mix. And nobody got Cat's dry sense of humor calling Paul "colored" as a joke, apparently. Mary's excuse is that it was her birthday and it had been a long day.
YES! Stacie called Mary out on changing her vernacular depending on who she talks to. Mary says, "I am a mimic. It's just my little quirk, my personality." BS.
So good news, Stacie found her birth father! That whole Nigerian Embassy thing actually worked. The whole family is going to Nigeria to meet her biological father. Then Stacie defended Erika. BLEH, boring. Let's get back to hating Michaele. And just like that, my wish was granted.
So as Michaele digs herself a deep, deep hole, Cat's look of disbelief grows exponentially. It's a mess! Then Michaele says, "I'm sorry that Charles left you . . . if you find love within you your husband will come back. And you know what? At least I'm married, Cat, and I have someone that loves me." OH MY GOD. She's so dumb she doesn't even know what she's saying. What a bitch! And she keeps on going!
So, Mary, are you a drunk? She says no. But Lynda takes Concerta (for "ADHD"). And it needs a little bit of Xanax with it, of course. And she had a little alcohol chaser. Yes, Lynda, YES.
And Michaele continues to lie about being a Redskins Cheerleader. Then Mary and Lynda confronted Michaele about how she's changed after being with Tareq. Sensitive. Michaele doesn't think she's changed, but that's no surprise. THEN IT GOT REALLY WEIRD: Andy asked Michaele if she ever goes anywhere without Tareq and she started crying. She shook her head and asked if he could ask someone else a question. Then Andy said that he would bring Tareq out and Lynda objected. This is getting so Stepford Wives. So we'll have to wait for Part 2 for even more sh*t to hit the fan when they bring out the men and talk about the State Dinner!
(image courtesy of Bravo)