'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Fainting with the Stars
'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Fainting with the Stars
Gina Pusateri
Gina Pusateri
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Last week, we had a chance to catch up on what all of our favorite Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have been up to since the last time we saw them on the small screen. But now it's time for some real drama to start, and of course, no one is wasting any time.

Road to Recovery

It seems that poor Yolanda has been through hell and back in the past year. She's been suffering through treatment and recovery from Lyme disease, which impaired her brain function. But today is the final step in her treatment when she has an operation to remove a catheter that connected to her heart in order to receive medicine. However, the road to recovery will still be long and arduous.

Yolanda's husband, David Foster, is doing his best to be a good and supportive husband, something he admittedly failed at at least three times before. And Yolanda is thankful to have the love and support from him and her kids while she went through this ordeal. Yolanda also really appreciates how being sick has changed her, and how it doesn't mean that she's not still the strong woman she always was.

Later, Yolanda has lunch with Brandi and Lisa in Lisa's beautifully decorated backyard. Seriously, their lunch table is like a grown-up version of the American Doll Place. Yolanda admits that she and Kyle are still not in a good place and are unlikely to be after Kyle accused her of being a liar.

Lisa says that she feels a bit bad for Kyle now that her "support system" of Taylor, Adrienne and Faye Rancid (her words, not mine, although I must agree) have all moved on. And by "moved on," she means they're no longer on the same reality TV show, not dead or even not actually physically gone from Beverly Hills.

American Gothic

We get to learn a little bit more about Carlton, who lives in a stunning and huge Gothic home with her husband and three strangely named children. She has a lot of religious imagery in her home, but mostly crosses and pentagrams. The crosses because she thinks it's a beautiful symbol and pentagrams because she is a witch.

Her husband owns a sports management company that represents professional athletes, which is apparently a very lucrative line of work. So the Gebbias encourage physical activity in their home, and Carlton also encourages swearing.

Later, Carlton has lunch with Joyce, Kyle and Kyle's friend Sharon in Kyle's backyard. Carlton tells this great story about how she met her husband after two girls were physically fighting over him in a club. This lady does not play. Then Joyce tells a ridiculously long story about how she met her husband on a blind date and knew instantly he was the love of her life and blah, blah, blah. Sorry, Miss Puerto Rico, but Carlton wins this round.

But just when Carlton is starting to win my favor, she proves that she's pretty humorless when she gets offended when Sharon kills a bee at the lunch table. They are in the bee's natural habitat, how could they murder that bee? Not only that, but she finds no comedy in Kyle's story about how she leaked breast milk through her blouse at a night club she went to for the first time after being pregnant. If the sight of that isn't funny, I'm not sure what is.

PUMP Rules

Lisa is really busy with running SUR, running her household and being on Dancing with the Stars. And we know how busy she is because she keeps telling us over and over.

Kyle, Kim, Brandi and Taylor (sheee's baaaack) go to see one of Lisa's performances live. They have dinner afterword where Taylor is with her new boyfriend, her not-quite divorced former attorney. Glad to see Taylor's keeping it classy. Thankfully, Kyle informs us that she spends most of her time with her new BF in Colorado, so we probably won't have to see much more of her this season.

But Lisa isn't too busy to start construction on the location for her new Beverly Hills gay bar that will aptly be called PUMP. It's going to have a garden in the center, and plenty of urinals, per Ken's request.

But it seems all of this "being busy" is really taking its toll on Lisa. Kim and Kyle get together at Kyle's to watch one of Lisa's DWTS episodes. And in the episode, Lisa collapses during one of her rehearsals with Gleb. Kim and Kyle seem to think that Lisa's faint was fake and that she did it to get out of DWTS because it was too hard. Lucky for Kim and Kyle, no one is maliciously critiquing their acclaimed performance on Stars in Danger: The High Dive.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Mondays at 8pm on Bravo.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)