Can you believe how nicely this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
is developing? I saw a preview for this episode and was that Kim flopping around in a mermaid costume? Please let it be Kim. Anyway, Kyle and Taylor go to this Dana woman's house to hang out and see her boobs and lavish wedding stuff.
Dana's 18-month old counts, reads, and speaks Thai. Dana asks Kyle for help shopping, and Taylor says, "we'll help you shop." Not the one who's too skinny! Don't bring her.
Kim and Kyle's manager, Betty, asks Lisa to be a commentator on the Royal Wedding. Why didn't I know about this?! Lisa accepts, and I wish I had heard what Lisa had to say (and I'm glad no one asked Cat from Real Housewives of DC
The event of this episode is Adrienne's barbeque. I'm not sure how much of an actual barbeque it's going to be, because it's in Beverly Hills, but I hope the mermaid plays into this somehow.
Taylor meets Brandi, which means alliances are forming. Taylor thinks they have a lot in common (they're both moms and have marital problems). They're also both pumped full of filler. Pretty much right away, Taylor opens up about her marriage counseling that's not going well.
At Kim's house (FINALLY), Kim had her hair done to dust the bazillions of framed pictures she has of her kids. She then reminisces out loud to her housekeeper. Ahhh memories. So alone. Kim admits that she took "some time to focus on Kim" and thinks she came back stronger and better for it. Or crazier sounding for it.
Kyle and Mauricio join Lisa and Ken at Villa Blanca for dinner. Lisa looks stunning in red. Things have been a bit tense between Kyle and Lisa ever since she stood up for Taylor against Ken at Adrienne's dinner party. But they're bonded together by a shared superiority over Dana. Ahhhh Dana, so tacky and thick.
It's time for Adrienne's barbeque, and Bernie is back! Even though he hates Lisa, we like Bernie. Why is Brandi wearing a scarf with a maxi dress? Preposterous. Jessie the Bartender isn't doing his job very well, as there's not enough red wine and he put the fancy champagne glasses outside. It's a barbeque, use the plebian glasses!
Kyle and Camille are getting along! Camille is also bonding with Brandi, over their broken marriages and scandalous divorces. They so get each other. Enter Dana, who is now the enemy I guess. I don't know, she's sort of the Kim G. of RHOBH. She kept telling everyone she spent $25,000 on her sunglasses. None of the women, who have real money, would spend that much on sunglasses.
To commentate on the Royal Wedding, Lisa's putting on her fake hair. The other Housewives seem to think it's all about etiquette, but they want Lisa because of her attitude. And Giggy. Plus, they had Dr. Drew, so anyone can say anything they want about the Royal Wedding. She was well-spoken, though, and Giggy was asleep as usual. So was Ken.
At the barbeque, Brandi's son got naked and peed in Adrienne's grass. Brandi didn't even say or do anything except laugh. Kyle was not amused. Kim still hasn't shown up to the party, and she has a history of not showing up to things or realizing that things are going on. Poor Kim, she never has any idea what's going on, doesn't really know social graces, and always sounds plastered on the phone.
In Lisa's absence, the hive is starting to revolt against the Queen Bee. I just want to see Dana's son speak Thai. Brandi shares with Kyle and Dana that Taylor is on the "divorce diet," even though she's not technically getting a divorce yet. Taylor claims she had a hamburger and a hotdog. Why aren't we more worried about Kim? That's the interesting storyline!
Dana has a grating personality. But Brandi offends Kyle and Taylor by saying "cock." I don't even know how the conversation took such a sharp turn. Women are supposed to be LADIES! And Brandi's just one of the guys. I bet Dana is, too. For whatever reason, the women just hate Brandi, and Brandi immediately goes on defense. Why would she think they think she's a "super slut"?
Then the attention shifts to Dana, whose fiance is all over the country and gone for long periods of time. Brandi made a joke about having a woman in every country, and it wasn't well-received.
"Actually, his mom is dying of cancer, sooooo ... " Dana says awkwardly. Oh boy, Brandi is not fitting in with these women. I don't mind her, actually!
Next week, Brandi sets the Richards sisters on fire by actually saying what we're all thinking. Kim is on drugs and/or wasted, right?(image courtesy of Bravo)