Lisa is teaching Adrienne how to cook as Bernie looks on disapprovingly, literally lurking around the corner. Classic Bernie! He hates Lisa, but doesn't care that Adrienne put hand soap on her chicken to wash it. And why is Bernie there at all? Is he getting paid to laugh at them? Oh, he's getting paid to show Adrienne where the salt and pepper is. Adrienne is basically Amelia Bedelia-ing this whole thing up.
Taylor, Kyle, and Dana all have children around the same age, so they're meeting up for a playdate and gossip. It turns out they still all agree that they hate Brandi. Except Taylor might secretly not hate her? They analyze Brandi's behavior and decide that it's insecurity/jealousy/what have you making her act this way.
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Lisa meets with her rich friend, Mohamed, who wants to throw an Arabian Nights themed party for Pandora's engagement. YES. I approve of this! Any excuse to see more of Mohamed's crazy mansion. He seriously has secret rooms and sliding walls that lead to naughty sex rooms!
Adrienne built a full spa at her house for this spa day she's throwing for the Housewives. It is both preposterous and awesome. Prepawesterome? And Bernie made lots of little snacks and didn't wash any of them with soap. Anyway, nothing gets too out of hand when Adrienne is involved, so this should be a nice, relaxing day at the spa, right?
Kyle and Taylor arrive, and join Dana upstairs. Why is Dana invited? For numbers? This party is absolutely ridiculous. Lisa and Camille show up and get dressed. And last but not least, as usual, it's Kim. She's out of sorts, but was she ever in of sorts? Was she ever ON her rocker? She sure got on that trampoline right quick instead of getting a spa treatment. Kyle did it, too.
Then Brandi came crutchin' on in even though she HATES these women and keeps swearing never to hang out in the vicinity of Kim and Kyle again. But, you know, she wanted to show Adrienne some support and not be rude, so she got into her robe and skulked around the spa room. On the other side of the spa, Kim and Kyle reaffirm their passive-aggressive hatred for Brandi.
Adrienne suggests to Brandi that she try talking to Kyle or Kim.
"But it's not my fault," Brandi says. They don't want to talk to each other, but somehow, they will end up doing it. They certainly spend enough time talking ABOUT each other! Eventually, Adrienne delivers the message that Brandi wants to talk to Kim and Kyle. Kim is baffled, calling Kyle a traitor for letting Brandi apologize. Then it became about talking Kim off a ledge.
Meanwhile, Camille relates to Brandi but it seems like Taylor is really playing both sides. She sticks around for the Brandi-Kyle confrontation. Brandi explains that she lost it and her trigger is her kid, and she understands that Kyle's trigger is her sister. She did a good job, I think. But Kyle's ready for a fight, so a fight she shall have!
Is this really about Brandi's son peeing on the lawn? No. But man, neither of these ladies can let any of this go. And didn't Kim kind of start this? We can't hold her responsible for her actions, though! Somehow along the way, all the Housewives except Kim joined in on this fight. Kyle is kind of a mean girl, isn't she? She would only drop the subject after she had the last word.
Still, Brandi doesn't realize that it's not OK to tell someone you think they're on meth. And Taylor just had this look like, "don't say any more! You're on camera and they watch this stuff!"
Brandi picks up and crutches out of there, and the Housewives celebrate.
How interesting that these women are getting all upset about someone saying, "bring it on, bitch," when this is said all the time on RHONJ
Next week is that crazy awesome Arabian Nights party, and we find out that Kim is dating someone! Who!? It's a secret that's coming out next week.(images courtesy of Bravo)