'Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: A Wealth of Surprises
'Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: A Wealth of Surprises
It's episode 2 of Season 4 and the Real Housewives of Atlanta are already going to Miami. Maybe they can meet up with everyone's favorite Housewives, The Real Housewives of Miami! Haha, JAY KAY everyone hated that. The only good thing to come out of it was Mama Elsa. ANYWAY, this trip is bringing back bad memories of the Kim and NeNe fight that would not end.

I wish Kim and NeNe would be friends again, I liked it so much when they were friends. But NeNe is in Miami with Kandi and Cynthia to "get away from all the haters." Kandi isn't sure what will happen with this friendship between her and NeNe and I'm not sure what will happen with that new long weave.

Back in Atlanta, Kim's peeing and Kroy is planning a surprise party with some friends. Kim's going to be "33." OK maybe actually 33, like you can even tell anymore. I just love Kroy, he's a good, young boyfriend.

Phaedra is looking into opening her own funeral home. Yes. We support this! She wants to create a family business and leave the legacy for Ayden. Oh boy. Phaedra gets some advice from the master, this awesome guy who warns her not to make people feel taken advantage of. Also, maybe less diamonds? Or cover all the sparkle with a prayer cloth. Is she just going to steal all his funerals? There's enough dead people to go around.

In Miami, NeNe and Kandi discuss the "A TRUMP CHECK" argument NeNe and Sheree got into. NeNe is talking up how rich she is. She is RICH, bitch. Wisely, Kandi is watching her step with NeNe. I would hate to be on her bad side, but I'm sure it happens to everyone inevitably. In attempts to find Kandi a man, they stumbled into Pride weekend, which is full of lesbians and no men.

Sheree takes her son, Kairo, cleat shopping. That's all I have to say about that.

NeNe, who is rich, by the way, is real estate shopping in Miami. She has enough money to do that now. She can look at $9 million homes that have offices with leather floors. She also knows that it's a great time to buy. Is it ever not a great time to spend $9 million? I ask myself these questions daily.

At the beach, the conversation turns to sex. Of course. Cynthia, as a newly married woman, doesn't think it's appropriate to go around talking about sex, dildos, and Pride weekend bicuriosity. Then they played frisbee with some guys with accents. Hairy guys with hairy accents.

Sheree and Kim go out to dinner an discuss NeNe. More money, more problems. They agree that something is wrong with NeNe because she gets into it with everybody. Then Kim discusses Kroy, and how he's totally the best boyfriend. She wants that RING, though. (Don't worry, you'll get it!)

Phaedra, who is wearing a lot of black these days, tells Apollo about her visit to the funeral home. By funeral home, I also mean Ayden's legacy. She wants it to be "the Saks Fifth Avenue of funeral homes." What does it mean!? Apollo is not interested. Not even if Phaedra lets you pick up the bodies? Hmmm??

The surprise party is happening! Can Sweetie and Kroy pull it off? Kim is having a different kind of party this year because she can't do tequila shots. Even with all the help arriving, Sweetie is freaking out.

Kim has decided that once she gives birth she is going to go on a drinking, smoking, botox-ing, gun-shooting binge. Kroy brings up the idea of baby's first gun. When he's 22, he can have his first .22. But then he's so excited to give Kim her gift, a chocolate diamond bracelet.

At the house, Ariana is announcing all the famous guests with zeal: "Hey Derek J! Oh my gosh it's Kandi! Phaedra's here!" Kim goes to the bathroom and everyone hides in the kitchen. Kroy leads her in with her eyes closed and it looks like it was a pleasant, and successful surprise. Phaedra calls, jokingly, for NeNe. Phaedra is so great this season, when did this happen? They all have a good laugh at NeNe. Then sex talk.

Phaedra asks Kroy when he's going to marry Kim, and she peaks up from her chair massage. He shifts the topic to guns again. In the end, everyone loves Kroy.

Next week, in the words of Sheree, "it's going down at Kim's baby shower."

(images courtesy of Bravo)