Looks like last week’s cliffhanger won’t reach an easy resolution after all. When Michael jumped up and quit during “New Boss”, did anyone else expect that he’d fumble his way back into the job just as quickly? Well, judging from Thursday’s “Two Weeks,” it looks like this personnel change is going to take—Michael will soon be the head of the “Michael Scott Paper Co.” and, shock of all shocks, he’s taking Pam along with him!

Well, as anyone who’s ever tried to write about The Office would tell you, it’s really quite hard (that's what she said) to write about The Office. At least, it’s hard without just rambling off favorite quotes and favorite scenes in non sequitur fragments. (Monsters.com! Bandit! Productivity Czar!)

So that’s what we’ll be doing from now on—embracing the inherent quotability of The Office in less of an “Aftergasm,” and more of a stray-observations-list sort of way. If anyone can think of a great name for this, I’m taking suggestions. “Aftermathgasm”? “Afterlog”? “The Post Office”?

Anyway, here’s the run-down of everything awesome on last night’s Office:

• Of course Michael has a sticky-hand handy after he quits. And now he finally gets to use it.
• “Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like Scotch.”
• If you know anyone who has quit his job (or been fired) in this economy, Michael’s emotional progression through this episode should have been hilariously familiar to you: euphoria, drunkenness, anxiety, desperation, fear, and hysteria. And then the coping mechanisms kick in: self-soothing confidence, optimism, self-aggrandizement, and big ideas. If there’s one thing unemployed Michael has going for him, it’s buoyancy… to a fault, usually, but it should help him now. He doesn’t like to take “no” for an answer, but even when it happens: “I had a great time at Prom. And no one said yes to that, either.”
• Andy giving Michael a farewell wine box and saying, “I hope I get to work with you again.” It totally sounded like a tip he learned at some “How to Get Ahead in Business” lecture during his senior year at Cornell.
• And then, even after the gesture, Andy’s (and Dwight’s) reaction to Michael’s offer to join his new paper company was spot-on. Of course Andy uses his best Bert from Mary Poppins voice to dodge the question, and Dwight is tragically non-committal (“I’d love to put a pin in that.”) to the man to whom he’s vowed undying allegiance more than once. When push comes to shove, the two biggest kiss-asses know that you’ve got to look out for #1. 
• Idris Elba is killing it as Charles Miner. He intimidates the crap out of me. He really is like the Stringer Bell of The Office.
• They don’t do too many montages, but the “normal wear and tear” copier montage makes me think that maybe they should! It appears that Kevin, the most impatient to see the new machine operational, is likely to blame for its being broken in the first place, after dumping an entire cup of coffee inside.
• Did anyone else immediately go to monsters.com after that hilarious bit? Sorry to disappoint: no roaring to be found there!
• So sad to hear that Prince Paper had to shut down! And Mr. Prince’s voice on the brink of tears! That was heartbreaking.
• Kelly had some of her best work tonight. “We’re really tight. We’re like the Kardashians.” AND “She’s such a special person. She’s turning 50 this year!” All’s fair in inter-office romance and war.
• Pretty sure I’ve said this before, in all seriousness (right before giving up): “This is a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now.”
• “Little Miss Thing wants attention!” Meredith says of Pam. I love the Mr. and future-Mrs. Halpert as much as is humanly possible, but it’s still strangely satisfying when they get put in their place.
• Sounds like, even if he never returns, the mythology of Michael will live on forever at Dunder-Mifflin: ““And just like that, as mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone.” That also made me wish for a flashback to Michael’s first day! If only.
• The writers left us major Office junkies with such a delicious cliff-hanger: Kevin on the phones? Stanley as “productivity czar”? The Three Stooges movie producers made better casting decisions than Charles Miner just did.
• So many great descriptions of the enigmatic Michael in this episode: “Michael’s like a movie on a plane. It’s not great, but it’s something to watch. And then when it’s over, you’re like, “How much time is left on this flight? Now what?”
  

So Michael quit, and had-it-up-to-HERE Pam Beasley followed suit. What do these major environmental changes mean for the fragile ecosystem that is The Office? Now that our Dunder-Mifflinites finally got what they (most of them) always wished for, will it taste sourer than they expected?

Well, it sounds like we actually will have to wait “Two Weeks” to find out, because the finale for that ironic-it's-a-hospital-show-because-I-thought-it-would-never-die, E.R., will be taking up The Office’s regular spot. Until then, just ask yourself, “Are you doing your best here? Are you being the best that you can be?”



-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Image courtesy of NBC