In a sneak peek of tonight's finale of The Hills
, Kristin Cavallari tells Brody, "I'm actually going to be going away for a little while ... I'm bored here." After six seasons and more than 100 episodes, all I can say is, Me too, Kristin.
No word on what the current narrator's finale plot fate will be (hopefully, not another spin-off), but from the sound of it, she's either going to prison or she's pretending to move away to give the story a proper ending. Sort of like how Chandler pretended to move to Yemen on Friends
in season 4 to get away from Janice--but here's the thing, Kristin, Chandler actually had to get on that plane. Beware
For those of you that need a refresher or perhaps haven't been watching
for the last six seasons, I give you my concise masterpiece:
The Hills in 150 Words
(with apologies to Lo, Justin, Stephanie, Stacie
the Bartender, etc. for leaving you on the cutting room floor):
Lauren moves to LA with Heidi, interns at Teen Vogue
, befriends Whitney--who later flees for The City--
and skips out on Paris internship for
douchey boyfriend with whom she's broken up before season 2. Heidi dates
douchier guy, Spencer, gets nose and boob job, and has falling out with
Lauren after Spencer allegedly spreads rumor that Lauren and her ex
made a sex tape. Audrina has dead eyes, of which Lauren eventually grows
weary, in turn leaving the show--but not before going to Heidi's
wedding. Also in attendance: new narrator, Kristin. Heidi gets 12
plastic surgeries and alienates herself from everyone except Spencer,
who gets them kicked off the show for allegedly threatening a producer.
This is where the "story arc" flattens out. The gang goes to dinners,
clubs, Costa Rica--just biding their time for the finale, which,
thankfully, is tonight. Oh, and Brody dated almost everyone.
If 150 words is too many for you to read, here's the tweet-sized
Lauren & Heidi, LA. Spencer starts Lauren sex tape rumor, gets
hitched to Heidi. Bye, Lauren! Hello, Heidi's new face! Kristin's here.
And if you're not into words and reading and all that--even only 140
characters--I give you a visual to sum up the last six seasons:
Are you watching the finale tonight? Sad to see it go? Do you think
Heidi and/or Spencer will crash the finale? Do you smell another spin-off? Sound off
in the comments!