'The Biggest Loser' Recap: 'The Biggest Loser' Giveth, and it Thanketh Away
'The Biggest Loser' Recap: 'The Biggest Loser' Giveth, and it Thanketh Away
Six contestants remain, and this week they're gobbling Jennie O deli meats for Thanksgiving! How do you feel about Anna Kournikova leaving the show after this season? I feel really good about it. Keep Dolvett, though! Anyway, the contestants show up in the kitchen for all that NASTY Thanksgiving food (oh no, it's not nasty, it is tasty and I can't wait to eat all 200 plates of it).

Oh god, the average American will eat over 4,500 calories each Thanksgiving. The contestants would eat more than that, easily. They know better now, though, but they have some incentives to forget all that for this temptation. They could win $500 for each pound they lose this week, a Cybex Home Gym (which they use on the ranch), or a 3 lb advantage.

They have five minutes to eat as many dishes as they want. Each dish has a number on it, and the lowest number gets first pick of the prizes. Will they decide it's worth it? Yes, they will. Everyone except Sunny starts digging into the ham and pumpkin pie. She can't believe everyone is eating, which she notes out loud, then grabs a plate. They want that 3 lb advantage.

Ramon uncovers a 52, which is right in the middle, presumably. Becky uncovers a 96. John eats one dish, and Vinny resolves to do the same. You only buy one lottery ticket, except Antone who bought two. Ew, this challenge is gross. Thanksgiving isn't about eating competitively. Right? Or is it? Have I been doing Thanksgiving wrong?

Becky gets a 96, then a 38. Sunny got 85, Antone had 81 and 46. So it pays to give in to temptation. John pulled 90, and Ramon got a 72 after his 52. It's all up to Vinny, who chose one plate and that number is ... 10! Lucky Vinny chooses the 3 lb advantage, Becky gets the home gym (oh boy, thanks, mom!), and Antone gets $500 for each pound he loses. Not bad! He could probably buy his own Cybex home gym.

The black team won all the prizes, and John is the only person left on the red team. It's all about Dolvett and John. If John doesn't pull through, Dolvett could be forced to leave and then show up later with a parachute in New Zealand! That's what happened last season to Brett. Who? Exactly.

Becky is not only the oldest, she's the smallest person in the house. She could be taking advantage of that home gym pretty soon if she doesn't push it against all these guys in the house. Makeover week isn't going to be any fun with just dudes.

Whoa, bold words from Bob: he told Antone that, "mark my words, [John] is going to gain everything back. Every bit of it." I've never heard Bob trash talk a contestant's entire life like that before. Damn, Bob, that's cold. He looked absolutely crazed when he said that, too.

Dolvett had a heart-to-heart with John to make sure he doesn't gain everything back, or at least appreciates what he has lost. Then Bob dropped in on Vinny, who has a hot girlfriend, remember? I don't know what is going on this week, but it is Bob's harshest, and maybe creepiest episode. He is getting REAL with these contestants.

Anna has Ramon and Sunny learning tennis, which is great for them but ... I don't know. I am not sure I'm buying Ramon's story that it matches up to a workout at the gym. But also, I'm not totally convinced of Anna as a Biggest Loser trainer.

The trainers provided a Jennie O Thanksgiving meal for the contestants (when did this happen though--in August?). They go around and share what they're thankful for, which Anna suggested from a book she read on American Customs. Bob opens up (sort of) to talk about his overweight sister. You're so brave to share her story, Bob! That must be so hard for you!

Finally, a challenge will generate some interest! Is this the car challenge yet? Nope, they have to climb a mile up on the Jacob's Ladder. This challenge has a basic Thanksgiving theme, you win a prize and give a prize! The first prize is 6 months of the Biggest Loser Meal Plan for you and an eliminated contestant. They can't just have a year, though. The second prize is $2500 for you and $2500 for someone else. You can't just have $5000, though. The third prize is a 1 lb advantage and a 1 lb disadvantage to assign. Oh man, it's probably going to be Antone, isn't it. And whoever he gives the disadvantage to will be like, "oh, OK, it's cool, Antone!"

They climb and climb and climb, going nowhere. A mile is a lot to climb. John kicks it into high gear to win that 1 lb advantage. Ramon and Sunny are also going for it. It's like Becky, Antone, and Vinny are hardly even playing. This challenge isn't even that exciting to watch. Vinny declares that this is what they make you do in hell. I believe that.

John wins first place, after an hour and a half. That. Sucks. Sunny finishes in second, and Ramon comes in third. Enjoy that meal plan, Jessica! So wait, why are they surrounded by camping gear? Was that ever explained? That has no relevance to Thanksgiving.

Everyone fears John and his 1 pound advantage, and disadvantage. Sunny chooses the meal plan because she hates to cook, and gives the other one to Bonnie. Ramon gets $2500, and gives Vinny the other $2500. Everyone gets a prize! Only one gets a 1 lb disadvantage, though. Can John assign it to Vinny, making it a 2 lb advantage? I guess it doesn't help John at all to do that.

Aside from Bob going a bit mad, this episode has been a big ol' tryptophan nap.

In the ultimate betrayal of Bob, John assigns the 1 lb disadvantage to Sunny, who reminds Bob of his overweight sister who won't make the right choices no matter what. Sunny thinks it's unfair to take it away from someone who earned that pound, and this week there's no Tim Gunn to magic wand the elimination away.

Anna and Roman help Sunny overcome her disadvantage by focusing on what she can control:

John lost 5 pounds, and tries to celebrate it, but Dolvett is upset because he might be useless now that everyone hates the last person left on his team. Antone is up next, and he gets $500 for every pound he loses. He lost 8 pounds, leaving him with $4000 for Christmas presents.

Vinny lost 11 pounds, which is great even without the 3 lb advantage. I feel torn, because I wouldn't mind seeing John go home, but Dolvett is my favorite trainer. Becky lost 5 pounds, which is a great percentage for her. Oh no, Ramon lost 5 pounds. Devastating. He HAS to make it to the makeover week! He falls below the yellow line, and now it's up to Sunny.

Sunny lost 5 pounds, which is not enough because of John. And because of that prize, John is above the yellow line, just a tenth of a percent above Sunny. This sucks! Anna tries to tell us that she is devastated but it doesn't register on her face.

In the deliberation room, Ramon pretty much volunteers to go as the District 12 tribute, because it's not fair for Sunny to go home because of John's shady game play. Will John redeem himself in the vote? (No.)

Vinny votes for Sunny, because Ramon just gave him $2500. Becky votes for Ramon. In a total dick move, John votes for Sunny, claiming that he wants to compete against Ramon. Antone votes for Ramon because it's the right thing to do, and the strategic thing to do. But John didn't get away without a lecture from ex-NFL player Antone. After John and Antone squabble, Alison excuses Ramon from the competition.

Watch the squabble again:

We will see him at the marathon with his girlfriend Jessica. And then hopefully we'll see him with a ring at the finale because we LOVE when guys propose on the finale. And he'd better get a haircut since he didn't make it to makeover week.

He did! He got a baller haircut, he lost the weight, and he and Jess look great together. They went skydiving and while that's all good and exciting, I was like, "WHERE'S THE RING?!" the whole time. Way to go, Ramon, I hope you guys both win the marathon ... or something.

(images courtesy of NBC)