The Biggest Loser
is doing Halloween! Maybe this year I'll have the motivation to work off the entire bowl of candy I eat when I inevitably get three or fewer trick-or-treaters! Maybe not!
The contestants enter the kitchen, which is completely decorated for Halloween (out of season for them). They're all delighted by it, and Alison jumps out from the shadows wearing a Bride of Frankenstein costume. She gives it some drama, but you can tell she's still pretty embarrassed. It's OK, Alison, you gave it your best.
Alison tells them that the scariest thing about Halloween is, of course, the candy. The average American spends an average of $44 on candy, and eats an average of 24 pounds of candy a year. Possibly all in one weekend! Also, 20 million pounds of candy corn are sold. And 20 million pounds of candy corn go uneaten.
Time for a temptation! Halloween candy dangles in a gothic cauldron from a scale. Alison tells them that for every pound of candy they eat, they earn a pound advantage on the scale. It doesn't matter who eats the candy because they're weighing in all as one group! They just have to lose 100 pounds. That's only 100 pounds of candy to eat, guys!
If they can do it, everyone gets to stay. I wonder if this is to keep the blue team in it just a hair longer. Alison tells them that they
may eat up to 10 pounds of candy.
The red team tells Dolvett that it's all-for-one week so he gets to train everyone all together. He likes this. He will finally get to prove his prowess in the gym over Anna! Meanwhile, the black team looks longingly at the cauldron of candy and makes jokes about stuffing it in their shorts. I think it's time for someone on that team to go home.
Watch as the black team discusses their candy options:
Bob is working Bonnie out on the kettle bells, so the unfinished business that she and Anna have will just have to wait. Anna gets to work out the younger girls like she always wanted. Jennifer is pissed that she's working out with Anna--wouldn't you be? But Jennifer has an unnatural attachment to Bob as her trainer. Jen is a likely target to go home this week.
Dolvett got a breakthrough from John, and the red team has a cost-benefit analysis of candy versus Jennie O. If this show knows what's good for it, they'll keep Vinny around as long as possible because he makes the product placements entertaining!
Holy crap, Ramon and Jessica are into each other! This stuff happens and we never have any idea! I'm glad we get to see it this year (I am outright pissed every year there isn't a Biggest Loser
romance). They kissed! Where does this even come from? They're going to look good when they get fit together.
And now for the challenge. Alison is no longer in costume, just an orange jacket with a tarantula brooch. She tells the contestants that they have ten minutes to gather all the apples they can from a maze. For 150 lbs of apples, they get a five pound advantage on the scale. For 200 lbs of apples, they get a ten pound advantage. OR you could just eat ten pounds of candy from that cauldron!
But, yet again, there's a trick! If when the time is up anyone is left/stuck/lost in the maze, the advantage disappears and they have a five pound disadvantage. OK, I don't mean to be rude, but it seems to me like Bonnie will probably definitely get lost in the maze. It's just such a Bonnie thing to do. Joe thinks it will be him, but we all know Bonnie is going to get scared and fall down and pull something and Antone will have to find her and carry her out.
They should all just boycott this challenge. It is absolutely preposterous. Ramon is so excited about it, though. He just loves everything. Also, it turns out that the maze is not THAT complex. John is worried about running into someone and having "an apple explosion," which is something I also fear, personally, on a daily basis.
Antone, (for religious reasons?) refuses to go in the graveyard. They hit the five pound advantage and decide to go for ten. Greedy children. Like a classic fairytale, Joe lets us in on his inner thought process:
"We've got time, we can still get more apples!" But with ten seconds left, a bunch of them are just running around in the maze like their heads are cut off. And true to his prediction, it is Joe stuck in the maze! But in the last seconds, they make their way out and everyone high-fives and hugs. Everybody wins! Even Bonnie, who did not fall down and get stuck in the maze!
To improve things even more, they won the ten pound advantage, so they only have to lose 90 pounds to keep everyone safe. Back in the kitchen, Bonnie has an idea to hide the candy and tell Bob that they ate it for the ten pound advantage that way. It was pretty artful the way they left one lone candy kernel in the cauldron.
They told Bob the lie, and actually did a pretty good job of lying to him! It was charming, but I bet Bob was pissed. He takes them to the gym to work out his anger on his ten human punching bags. But no one screamed more agonizingly than Bonnie, who gave it an extra Halloween spookiness.
After Bob, the contestants move to the tennis courts for a break with Anna. But, you know, a tennis-themed workout is cute. For the final chapter, they meet Dolvett for some good old fashioned tractor tire hammering. He has some sort of Biggest Loser rotating event field day set up. Jennifer seems like she's giving up with the other trainers, and everyone else is noticing. Dolvett guides them through a meditation once they've been broken down to nothing. In the end, he does a call and response with "Hard Work! Dedication!" and Jennifer does not say anything. It's like pretending to sing in church, and Vinny isn't happy.
Then John and Vinny bonded in their respective trash can tubs.
To teach the jokesters a lesson, Bob has Joe and Vinny put Sunny in a wheelbarrow full of candy and wheel her up a hill. Bob pulls Vinny aside for a heart-to-heart. Why you so funny, funny guy? Do you laugh because you're crying on the inside?
Ramon and Jessica go on a picnic, sponsored by Jennie O in all likelihood. He tells her he loves her, and they kiss. Oh my god I hope he proposes at the finale!
Because it's "all for one" week and Halloween, the trainers come in dressed as the Three Musketeers. But NOT the candy bar. We are against candy now. Bob wheels in the candy and has them fill buckets with ten pounds of it each for the workout. It makes working out fun! And torturous. Then Antone got on Jessica's back and her knees probably had an apple explosion.
For filler, Anna pulls Jessica aside to talk to her about her relationship with Ramon. Girl talk! But make sure you don't get distracted, Jessica. Thanks, Weird Intrusive Aunt Anna.
Anna and Bonnie also had a heart to heart this week:
At the weigh-in, Alison is dressed for Older Lady Halloween Prom. John is on track to tie or break Moses's record of 100 pounds in 6 weeks, and with a 10 pound weight loss he does it! He's already looking better.
Antone had "a horrible week" last week (maybe on purpose since he knew his weight loss wouldn't count?), and hopes to make it up this week. He loses 8. Joe loses 8 also. In a wild backswing from last week's 14 pound loss, Sunny gains 5! She says she's humiliated, and the trainers encourage her (except Anna, who is still learning what is love).
Jennifer loses a sorry 4, and Bonnie loses an even sorrier 1. Alison lays it down for them, "at this point it would take a miracle." Damn, Alison.
Becky loses 1, Vinny loses 5, Jessica loses 4, and Ramon only loses 2. This is a terrible weigh-in! Ramon says that he's ready to work out even harder in the gym and Anna feels the need to pipe up,
"I just want to remind the two lovebirds here that you need to stay focused," she tells them robotically. OMG, Cylon! Ramon and Jessica get defensive and it's just not Anna's place to bring that up. Get her out of here!
So after that awkwardness, John is the biggest loser of the week and the only one who's safe. I think it might be Jennifer leaving this week. In the deliberation room, Bonnie immediately breaks down because she feels the need to defend herself as soon as possible. Sunny starts crying because she gained weight. Ramon says he knows what he needs to live now, for the future, looking at Jessica. Oooooooh!
Then Jennifer starts crying saying how much she needs Bob and so on and so forth. Vinny asks her if she has even let the trainers tap into her like Bob has and she's like, "well I don't know, there hasn't been much time," and then Vinny lays into her for not saying "hard work, dedication." He gets so pissed that he has to get up and leave the room.
Even Joe admits that Jennifer's attitude wasn't "one for all" and it might be best to make a mercy kill. But will they?
The red team votes for Jennifer because she's kind of toxic, and Jen and John vote for Ramon. Joe, in a turn of events, votes for Jen (yes!). Antone votes for Jen and the tides are changing! Time to cleanse the gym of bad energy--Sunny puts the final nail on Jennifer's Biggest Loser
coffin. Seeya at the marathon, Jennifer. Dang, she looks good!(images courtesy of NBC)