Allison Sweeney starts of tonight's The Biggest Loser by presenting three mystery platters.  The trainers come over to remove the lids and reveal...cupcakes!  Oh man, this show is going to make me so hungry.  This is today's temptation, but in a twist that makes everyone happy, it's for their trainers.

One of the cupcakes will give that team a 15 second advantage in the next challenge, but in order to get it, the trainer will have to find and eat a special cupcake.   The trainers will also compete in the challenge, and Allison tries to guilt them into going for it because they're always talking about making sacrifices.  Kim and Jillian stand by their convictions after getting pep talks from their teams about practicing what they preach.  Bob really wants to eat one, but he doesn't.  Dangit, what a waste of completely delicious looking cupcakes.

In shameful Biggest Loser product placement, Bob takes the blue team to Subway for a fantastic meal.  The food is so good there, and the best part is all the healthy options!  You can get a water and an apple instead of chips and a soda, all for a reasonable price!

The teams climb to the top of a hill for the challenge, and they're intimidated by flags at the bottom and a giant clock.  Lots of running is predicted.  The game is quite complicated, as it's a bit like Name That Tune.  Teams bid on how fast they can run down, get the flag and return, and other teams must either challenge them, or underbid.  The reward for winning is so big, Allison can't even tell them until they get to the weigh-in.  I bet it's a pony.

Neil on the blue team is sitting out because of a bum foot, and the black team has to sit two people out.  Jillian really wants Hollie to do it,  The red team starts the bidding at 7 minutes.  Black undercuts to 6 minutes, and the blue teams debates as Neil tries to claim it's all about the physics.  They come up with 5:55.  Red team, wussies that they are, go 5:54.  Black team shows off their juevos by going down to 5:30.  The blue team challenges them, but red goes down another second to 5:29.  The black team wants to give in, but Jillian goes on and on about how she knows they can do it, so they go to 5:28.  Red goes 5:27 without thinking.  Jez calls out 5:25 for the black team, with worried faces on his teammates.  The red team decides the black team doubts themselves so much, that they can't do it.

The black teams goes for it.  Jez speeds off into the lead while Hollie takes a nasty dive on the way down, but Jillian pulls her up.  They get the flag with 3 minutes left.  They get within sight of the pole, but fail to make it.  They talk about being proud of finishing, but it doesn't change the fact that they lost the challenge.

Bidding starts anew with red and blue teams.  The genius of this challenge is a team can not take a single step and still win.  Red starts with 6:25, blue lowers it to 6 minutes even (which gets a high kick from Bob), then red goes to 5:55.  That's enough, and the red team has to run the race. 
David lags behind a bit, but they make it down to the flag in 2 minutes, giving them just under 4 minutes to make it back.  They have a good strategy where they all hold onto the flag, staying together since you're only as good as your weakest link.  Phil winds up carrying the flag on his own while Kim is quite literally dragging Amy up the hill.  They make it with 18 seconds left, meaning the red team has won four challenges in a row.  Too bad, because playing Monday morning quarterback, the black team had two opportunities to challenge the red team to less time and knock them out.

Afterwards, Bob takes the blue team on yet another field trip.  The blue team is a lot like that third grade class that everyone wanted to be in because the teacher was young and hip and didn't go along with the rules, even though those kids always did worse on standardized tests.  At an outside gym, Bob leads a spin class, which the show helpfully lets us know can burn 700-1,000 calories.  In this episode of The Biggest Loser's emotional breakdown, Patty, a mother of three, is riding that bike as Bob builds her up, talking about what an inspiration she is.  He orders her to say that she's worth it, and Patty starts crying, then says it.  I'm one cynical dude, but that was pretty sweet.  I've been spending too much much time recapping Rock of Love, so it's hard for me to accept genuine emotion on a reality show.

The goal shirts come out, and some of them are clever enough to be bumper stickers.  The black team's Bill has a shirt that says his goal is "to become half the man, so I can be twice the man."   The black team does an old clothes fashion show, and Jillian has a Paula Abdul-level freak out.  Bob hands out the blue team's goal shirt, and negates the meaning of the phrase "I love it."  One shirt says he wants to give his wife the man she fell in love with, while another talks about wanting to fit into a pair of hot designer jeans.  No Bob, those are not equally admirable goals.

Before the weigh-in, we get the customary montage of all the teams grunting, sweating and crying as they work out.  Isabeau calls Jillian crazy for thinking she can do all the work on the stair climber, and Jillian shrieks back "Why am I crazy?"  It's in the eyes, and I have to agree with Isabeau on this one.  To prove my point, Jillian claims she's so not crazy, that she'll pump Isabeau's machine up to 10.5.  Then she threatens to push it up to 12 to prove how not crazy she is.  Isabeau does it, and Jillian crows "I'm always right!"

The Biggest Loser Weigh-In!  The red team's super secret reward is outright immunity, so they don't need to worry about the weigh-in at all, though they still do it.  Phil loses 5 pounds, Amy only loses 1 pound, David also only loses 1 pound, and Bryan loses just 2 pounds.  The red team should be damn thankful they have immunity, because they only lost 0.69 percent as a team.

Black team weigh-in: Hollie loses 3 pounds, Jez loses 8 pounds, Jim loses 11 pounds, Isabeau loses 8 pounds, Bill loses 13 pounds, and Julie loses 7 pounds.  That's an impressive week of 50 pounds gone, with a team total of 3 percent weight loss.

Blue team weigh-in, and they need to lose 43 pounds to stay in it.  Neil loses 11 pounds, Kae loses 6 pounds, Nicole loses 4 pounds, and Patty loses 5 pounds.  That leaves Ryan, and he needs to lose more 17 pounds to avoid elimination.  Yeah, not gonna happen.  He loses just 6 pounds, and the black team remains six strong, while the blue team will be sending home its second person in two weeks.  Kae is the biggest loser, so she's safe.

They don't want to do anything, so they suggest making it a tie so the rest of the house has to make the choice.  Bob forbids it, saying "Hell no."  Kae votes to boot Neil.  Patty boots Nicole, Neil boots Patty, Nicole boots Patty, and Ryan boots Patty,and she's gone.  That's what happens when you get a special emotional moment during the episode, I guess.  She leaves, and Allison talks about a massive change in the game, bringing out all the other contestants.

The campus is shutting down for a week.  No kitchen, no dorms, no gym.  "You're asking yourself what this means," Allison says.  "It means..."  To Be Continued!  I didn't even know reality shows did that.

Post show: we learn that Patty, who began the show at 280 pounds, is now at 219, and has lost 36 pounds since being eliminated from the show. 


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of NBC)