New 'Biggest Loser' Gets Physical
New 'Biggest Loser' Gets Physical
Eleanor Bryan
Eleanor Bryan
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
Hey guys. Welcome back to the Biggest Loser. It's the same old, same old, over here. The episode opens with Arthur trying to explain to Jesse what his strategy was for switching Jen and Jay for Sara and Deni. Wait a second. What's that you say? That was what happened last week? Yeah, I thought so, too. Apparently the show has yet to forgive and forget, because it looks like we're in for more of the same.

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All Tied Up In Knots

The show kicks off immediately with a challenge. Alison isn't sporting any major wardrobe catastrophes, which makes me proud of her and also makes me wonder if maybe she's been reading my articles? Alison, I'm touched.

The two teams are knotted in a gigantic rope. Alison reveals that all they have to do is untangle themselves before the other team. The first team to get untied gets the only key to the gym. For the entire week. Say what? How exactly does one lose weight without the gym?! Alison, you fool! What crazy idea have you concocted this time?

Since the Black team has an extra person, they close to sit out Arthur. Justin reveals that he is a cowboy and a former Eagle Scout. Who has badges for knot-tying. Guys, do you hear that? I think it was the sound of scales tipping.

The games begin. Right off the bat, Red is moving fast and they are organized. Granted, their organization basically involves everyone doing exactly what Justin tells them to do, but it's better than the chaos of the Black team. Red wins handily and they get gym privileges for the week. Marci says, "Jillian is going to kill us.  I can't even imagine what we are going to have to do outside." Knowing Jillian's penchant for standing on contestants, sitting on contestants, making contestants lift her, and making contestants push her around in large vehicles, I'm guessing a week of using Jillian Michaels as a barbell is to be expected.

(To see Jillian training Bob for ten minutes, watch the video below.  It just might be the funniest thing you see all week.)

Bad Attitudes

When Bob and Jillian discover the results of the challenge, Bob is optimistic and Jillian is freaking out. How unusual. Even though the Black team can't use the gym, there are bikes and stuff outside, so they aren't completely out of luck. The girls are pedaling away on the bikes, and Bob and Jillian notice a really weird energy. Hannah is upset at losing a challenge. I'm thinking her athletic, competitive past is rebelling to the idea of losing any kind of structured competition. She complains about the helplessness of her team, but in doing so, it sounds a lot like she's questioning the work ethic of Courtney and Irene, who are biking beside her. As we know, Courtney is not one to let her work ethic be questioned without a fight and she lets Hannah have one of her patented head-shake-eye-rolls.

Back in the gym, the Red team is working their butts off. Brett reveals that the Black team's secret weapon, all along, has been their use of treadmills. Treadmills, Brett? Really? He and Cara work the team out, but Rulon is not playing along. He has a bad attitude and when Cara tells him to do things, he flat out refuses. Cara looks like a little chihuahua squaring up against Clydesdale, but she still shouts, "I would really start rethinking your attitude right now." Funny. I didn't know my mother was on the show this season.

They go outside, and Cara yells. She tries to talk to Rulon about his life before the show, but Rulon refuses. He says that he lost pride in himself, but won't open up further than that. Cara tries, but she's no Jillian, and eventually she gives up. Rulon tells the camera that he doesn't trust a lot of people and has trouble opening up. Hey, buddy. You're on national TV. If you don't want everyone in your business, maybe keeping some stuff to yourself isn't the worst thing right now.

To see Jillian do some similar emotional recon with Ken and Austin, watch the video below:

A Little Friendly Competition, Brought To You By Subway!

After the workout, the Red team gathers around the pool and starts palling around. Austin puts forward the idea of a friendly challenge: Jen, the newbie, versus Justin, the team leader. Right, because pitting a girl against an enormous man is physiologically equal and fair. The first person to swim to the opposite side of the pool and back wins, and the loser has to deliver a Subway breakfast sandwich to the winner in bed. Product placement much? Jen jumps into the pool instantly, with all her clothes on, and Justin follows close behind. Jen has an impressive lead, but then Justin stops and takes off his hoodie and shirt. As soon as he loses all that dead weight, he makes up for lost time and beats Jen by seconds.

Meanwhile, the Black team is making dinner and Marci is scolding Arthur. Steak or chicken sausage? Neither, Arthur! Arthur is strong-armed by the girls into steaming some fish, seasoning it with garlic instead of salt, and using salsa instead of cheese on his salad. "Can't I have some cheese on my salad?" he asks Marci. "Arthur," Marci says, "Look at me. Can you have cheese? Can you have cheese, Arthur?"

"Mama says no cheese, then no cheese," says Arthur, but his grumbling is good-natured. It's sweet to see the Marci, Olivia, Hannah, and Sara badgering him, because it shows that they really care.

Ride That Train

It's time for another challenge, and Alison is standing by a train, wearing an unoffending sweater. What could this possibly mean?

Alison reveals that each team will have to push a 24-ton train car 800 feet. As the train moves, two players from the team will have the job of answering six different nutritional trivia questions. The answer to each question will be one of the labeled sacks of food on board the train. To answer a question, the correct bag of food has to be thrown off the train. For each incorrect answer, fifteen seconds will be added to the group's time. The team that wins gets to pick one player from the other team whose weight will not count that this week's weigh-in.

The Black team is up first. Again, they have to sit out one person to make the teams even, and they chose Deni. They get off to a slow start, but once they gain momentum the speed picks up. Irene and Marci are the two answering questions. They have to determine which sack of food has the most calories, sodium, protein, fiber, sugar, and the highest number of carbs. They have to choose between walnuts, peanuts, rice, bananas, beans, and eggs. As the train moves faster, however, they have less time to think out an answer. The Black team finishes with a time of 2:05, but Marci is not confidant that they answered all the questions correctly.

The Red team has the same problem. Because the Red team has bigger players, they go faster and have even less time to think of their answers. Their flat time is 1:35.

The Black team gets four questions wrong, adding a full minute to their time. Their new time is 3:05. The Red team gets five questions wrong, but even with the added 1:15, their time is still faster, and they win the challenge.

Last Chance Workout

It's time for the last chance workout, which means lots and lots of emotional soul-searching. Cara sets to work on Rulon again. She asks him why he always has to be in control, and he tells her that it is because he lost control of his life so much in the past six years. He talks about rebirth and proving himself, and Cara is ecstatic.

Meanwhile, outside with the Black team, Jillian takes Arthur aside. During the challenge, Arthur couldn't keep up with the speed of the train and the rest of his teammates, and she knows that he is feeling down on himself. Being Jillian Michaels, she chooses to deal with this problem by revisiting the first day at the Ranch and making Arthur push her truck up and down the hills of the Ranch.  He's done it before, only this time he is doing it by himself. This is a huge triumph for him, and Jillian tells him so from her comfy position in the cab of the truck.


The Red team weighs in first.

Jay is first, and he loses nine pounds. Jen is proud of his new focus, but I've noticed that even when she talks about how proud she is of her dad, she addresses the crowd instead of her dad, to his face. Jen, you bug me and I think I've finally found out why.

Jen is next. She loses seven pounds, but isn't happy because she knows it is not going to be enough to keep her at the Ranch.

Moses loses seven pounds, which I think is his lowest number yet. Everyone is a little confused, and the Black team gets nervous. If someone like Moses is pulling small numbers, how can they hope to pull big enough numbers to overcome their disadvantages this week? 

Kaylee is next. She loses three. Alison asks Brett how he feels about that number, like she expects him to be angry or disappointed or something. Brett, however, says that that number is totally fine with him. I would be upset if he had said anything else. Look how tiny Kaylee is! How can she continue to throw down double-digits? It's not a reasonable thing to expect anymore.

Justin loses five pounds and is disappointed that he did not help his team out more. Cara tells him he shouldn't feel bad, but I think that maybe if he got rid of his questionable facial hair he could shave off a pound or two. Thoughts?

Rulon loses eleven! He's thrilled, and Cara equates it to him breaking through his emotional barriers. I'm skeptical, but he had lost 103 since being at the Ranch, so something has to be working.

Austin loses ten pounds and Ken loses eleven. Why doesn't anyone pay more attention to these guys? They seem to throw up consistently great numbers. Because of them, the team's total for the week is sixty-three pounds and 2.68%.

The Black team weighs in next. The Red team reveals that they are choosing to sit Irene out from the weigh-in this week. I'm shocked, because I had thought for sure they were going to choose Courtney or Arthur. Irene loses six pounds to land her in One-derland, but it doesn't do her team any good so the celebration is limited.

The rest of the team has to lose seven pounds each in order to win this week. Things aren't looking good./Deni is up first. She, too, lands in One-derland after losing five pounds. Sara is up next. She loses four pounds, which is great, but not the seven that the team needs.

Olivia loses two and is visibly crushed. Hannah loses seven, which puts her in One-derland for the first time in ten years.

Marci is up next. She loses six pounds which lands her at 181. Marci looks fantastic right now, and it's so sweet to see how happy Courtney is for her.

Courtney is up next and she is wearing the biggest earrings I have ever seen in my life. If they were on Alison, I would probably hate them, but I love glam Courtney. I hope that next week she wears a feather boa up on that scale. She loses seven pounds!

Jesse loses a solid eight, but it's still not enough to save the team.

Arthur is the last one to be weighed, of course. There is a lot of pressure on Arthur. He still has to make up for switching the teams around last week, and we've been waiting for a big number from Arthur since the show started. Every single girl on the team tells the camera that if Arthur doesn't step it up this week, he is the one they are going to send home. Enough is enough. Arthur steps on scale and starts to cry before he even gets weighed. It's like watching someone standing in front of a firing squad. Jillian gets maternal and weird and tells him how proud she is of him, no matter what number he pulls this week. WHAT IS GOING ON? Arthur needs to lose more than thirteen pounds this week to save his team.

The beeping finally stops and Arthur loses TWENTY POUNDS! Everyone starts screaming. Jillian literally jumps into Bob's arms. Every single member of the Black team mobs the scale, hugging him. You guys, I think this might be the best thing I have ever seen in my life. I am close to crying. Jesse is crying. Arthur thanks "his girls" for being on his back all week about his diet and his attitude. "Now," he says, "I know what's broke and we know how to fix it."


This means the Red team has to send someone home, which means that it's going to be Jay. Why even bother with the process of the elimination? Jen and Jay are the first to go, and everyone knows that Jay will sacrifice anything for his daughter, whiny though she may be. Ken is immune, since he was the biggest loser for the week, but it's not like anyone was going to vote for him, anyway.

At the elimination, Moses, Kaylee, and Austin vote for Jay because he asked them to. Jen votes for Kaylee, but makes a point to say that she is only voting for Kaylee because she knew no one else would, and that she is effectively cancelling out her vote this way. Jay votes for Rulon but makes it a kind of challenge--in voting for Rulon, he is trying to see which of when will have lost the most weight by the finale, by one year after the completion of the show, and five years after the completion of the show. I commend him. Hey, Jay, if you have to go down, why not go down swinging?

Rulon votes last, and he votes for Jay, sealing the deal. No one is surprised. I feel kind of cheated, because he was doing so well and he gave it all up for Jen, but I suppose I would also feel strange if he'd let her go home, unquestioned. Jay is sent home.  Watch the elimination here:

At-Home Results

Jay now weighs 289, and vows to be 199 by the finale. He looks fantastic. He and his wife go back to Dr. H's office, where he was told, in the beginning of the show, that he had a potentially fatal heart arrhythmia. While Dr. H never actually tells him that his arrhythmia has gone away, he does tell Jay that his risk of diabetes, heart attack, and stoke have all drastically increased. His inner age has gone down from 71 to 64. I'd say that's a pretty solid victory in itself, but Jay is committed to winning the at-home prize. Good for you, Jay!

For a sneak preview of next week's episode, watch the video below!

(Image courtesy of NBC)