Last night on The Bachelorette
, Tanner the Pedi-phile dropped a bomb on Jillian's achey-breaky heart: some guys have girlfriends at home and/or are on her reality TV dating show with hidden agendas! And while she shouldn't have been shocked by this second revelation, given that it IS a reality TV dating show where all of them get liner notes in the morning like, "Michael: Drink 5 redbulls before breakfast ," or "Tanner: Talk about how you want to lick the toes 5 times today," or, "David: Get drunk and be yourself today."
What I'm trying to say is, it's kind of fake, you guys. We all know this. And the idea of a guy coming onto the show with a hidden publicity agenda is neither new nor shocking... unless he wins. Then we would be LIVID. But he won't, and you know it. The fame blame game is just a familiar pitstop on the rocky road of drama to the requisite happy ending. Jillian will pick someone genuine, and Wes's single will never hit the Country Top 40. You know this, too, because you have ears.
That other half of Tanner's implication bomb, however, was like a punch
to the gut for lil' ol' Jill. Little did she know that Toe Man was
talking about the same guy in both accusations: Wes (I prefer to just
call him "Worst") not only wants to drop that single like it's hot, he
also apparently told Tanner that there's a girl at home "that he still
likes." Somehow this never got caught on film, but there WAS a moment
the crew caught in which Worst said to the entire group that he has
fallen in love with 3 or 4 women at a time before. SACRE BLEU! That
statement actually tells us nothing! Especially because it's a clearly
hyperbolic statement within the context of a conversation about how
difficult Jillian's choices will be at the end, and in a typical
pissing-contest fashion, Worst just wants to make clear to the group
that he is the MOST sympathetic to her! Because he is Worst, and Worst
will do anything to win.
Let's get one thing straight: whether Worst
has a girlfriend at home or not, he is still The Worst. He's cheesy and sneaky and horrible. And the
ultimate dramatic tension this season on The Bachelorette
us knowing that he's The Worst, and Jillian thinking he is The Possibly
Best, Maybe Even Marriage Material. And for that tension to continue
just a few episodes longer, Tanner couldn't name names. It was tricky
business, especially when he had Jillian telling him, "I don't want you
to name names, but please name names." Probably afraid that Jill would
label him a narc and eliminate him for "ratting someone out" (even
though she asked him to), Tanner just let his accusation lay there on
the table, anonymous and vague.
Host Chris Harrison had this to say about what happened next:
his words Jillian called off the cocktail party and by the time I found
her in the deliberation room her head was spinning and she was pretty
upset. This is where I have to admit it's different for me to host The
Bachelorette than The Bachelor. I went into that rose ceremony a little
pissed off and wanted to get to the bottom of this for Jillian. I felt
so bad for Tanner P. during this confrontation. Even though some won't
feel sorry for him since he stirred all this up, I really thought he
was going to pass out. He was sweating and didn't take a breath the
entire time. Jillian got a little annoyed with the guys because instead
of worrying about who might have a girlfriend, all the guys cared about
was who said what. This confrontation went on for a while and there
were a lot of awkward silences. Emotions were running pretty high. In
the end, Jillian really didn't get any answers and sent Dave and Juan
So. Everyone--Jillian, Chris, and the rest of the guys--just
want to "get to the bottom of this," and that's the only thing that
doesn't get done. Instead, they spend the rose ceremony declaring their
own innocence and trying to guilt the guilty man into confessing in
front of the group.
All my crime-show viewers out there should
agree with me that this is across-the-board the WORST way to smoke out
a liar. This rose ceremony scene should be used in college Criminology
classes as an example of "What Not to Do When Solving a Mystery."
1. Do not allow the accuser to make a vague accusation and then just stand there silently.
2. Do not appeal to a liar and cheater's moral compass.
3. Do not ask the criminal to come forth in front of a huge group of burly men who want to maim him.
4. Do not expect him to own up to his crimes in such a public and pressurized setting.
5. Don't just GIVE UP after a few minutes because no one is willing to name names.
Detectives Eliot Stabler and Olivia Benson (SVU
, holla!) were there, THEY would have
"gotten to the bottom of this" through some old-fashioned
skull-cracking and browbeating. They would know to do some more 1 on 1
investigating with the suspects, and not just let the tension gradually
fizzle out, crime unsolved. What a let down.
But what "crime" are we
even talking about here? I know Chris Harrison and The Bachelorette
crew aren't interested in giving us answers just yet, but what exactly
is the question at hand? Is it "Does Wes have a girlfriend?" Or is it
"Does Wes 'have a girl at home that he still likes'?" Or is this about
his career? Is this even about Wes? Didn't Tanner say 3 guys have
girlfriends? What am I even saying? Is this real life? I need to lie
And that concludes this episode of Unsolved Mysteries: The
Ones No One Cares Enough to Solve
. Wes is still the Worst, girlfriend
or no. Go Kiptyn and Reid!
More of The Bachelorette:
Jillian Finally Sends Crazy David Home
Who's There for "The Right Reasons"? What Does That Even Mean?
Is Jillian's Weakness "Kiptynite"?
Read the latest recap: The Bachelorette Episode 4 (Page 1/3)
'Bachelorette' Jillian on 'Regis and Kelly': "I Kind of Dug My Own Grave in Front of These Guys"Play BuddyTV Bachelorette Fantasy TV, Win $150 to Sephora.com!
The Bachelorette: Does Wes Hayden Have a Girlfriend?
The Bachelorette: Is Wes Hayden Really Looking for Love?
-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
[Source: Entertainment Weekly
]Image courtesy of ABC