Last time on The Bachelorette:
We said goodbye to Brad, Tanner F., and Sasha (who, in his interview, ended up sounding like kind of a douchebag. Go figure.) We also witnessed the crazy feud between David and Juan blow up, when David called Juan a "cheese ass."
This week on Episode 4 of The Bachelorette:
A one-on-one date, a two-on-one date (one rose, one stays, one goes), and a 10-guy group date. And... somebody has a girlfriend back home. But more on that later.
First, the guys learn that they're going to Vancouver to meet Jillian, and from there it will be a Canadian tour, then home town dates, and then some trips abroad... so no more bunkhouse. They pack. Crazy Dave whines about not yet getting the one-on-one time he needs to grope and offend Jillian. We'll get there, too.
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Anyway, the 13 remaining men get to their big hotel suite in Vancouver, and Ed asks if there will be hot tubbing. AKA, will there be underwater fluid exchanges with Jill? Gross, Ed. It's the middle of the afternoon, which means it's time to drink! They crack open some champagne with Jill, and then she gives them an envelope and leaves. Inside it says, "Kiptyn--Let's cook up some love, Vancouver style." What's "Vancouver style"? Are they going to make maple syrup and... uh, I actually don't know what Canadian foods are. Anyway, Jake fist-pounds Kip over being the "nice guys" in the mix. Be wary of any such labels, friends. They're usually proven wrong within the episode.
Kiptyn and Jill meet up and privately fawn over how perfect each other is. They decide to go grocery shopping for dinner. Via kayak. Jillian wants to see if they can keep up with each other's outdoorsy lifestyle, so they race, with a few boats full of crewmembers chugging along behind them. Kip and Jill then embark on some romantic grocery shopping...? Does that exist? Jillian also pronounces "pasta" like a weirdo. "Huh. Canadians: almost like us, but a little bit different.
Back at the hotel, Juan blames the fact that no one likes him on David's influence. He's wrong. Jake also lectures the group, saying Jillian wants a "man," not a "leech." Well, yeah. But don't say women don't like bloodsuckers. Haven't you met Robert Pattinson?
Jill is going to take Kiptynite home to cook dinner, but first they need to get coffee, feed the pigeons, and talk about how much they both love to do charity work. They feel a real "best friend" connection blooming. When they get home, the white wine starts flowing (it's Jillian, after all) and they ask each other about their biggest turn-ons. Kiptyn's is when someone is "spontaneous" ...hmm, how surprising! Wonder where he got that word! Jillian's turn-on is... Kiptyn. Kiptyn then tells Jillian that his biggest flaw is being afraid to take risks with his heart, but he's on the show to do just that. Cue the make-out music.
Back at the suite, Jillian mandates a ten-guy man date. Jesse, Tanner, Jake, Robby, Wes, Ed, Michael, Reid, Juan, David will join her for curling. Which means Mark and Mike will be going on the 2 on 1 date. Mark asks Juan's opinion about the 2 on 1 (because...?) and Juan says he thinks Mark will go. Because DUH. Have some self-esteem Mark, and keep the doubts to yourself. Or at least away from Hu-awn, who will exploit your weakness.
Meanwhile, Jillian giggles like a little girl as she gives Kiptyn his rose. As if there was any doubt. He's prettier than she is! (And that's tough to be.)(1) (2) (3) NEXT>>