You can tell a lot about a person by their parents: morals, traditions, a vague approximation of what their skin will look like in 30 years.

Which is why, instead of judging the Bachelorette boys by their own actions last night (oh, we did that, too), we should also judge by the closest glimpse we've got of what they'll be like as husbands: their dear ol' dads!

Luckily for Ali's final three--Roberto, Chris and Frank--"dear" was just the right word to describe their proud pops. Each could easily qualify as a "#1 Dad," but which papa most won me (and you!) over when he welcomed Ali into his home? It was a tough call, but this totally arbitrary point system helped me pick out the primo patriarch from last night's Bachelorette episode:

3. Frank

Dad's name: Hank. Hank 'n' Frank? Despite my [some might say "excessively"] negative feelings about Frank, that is pretty darn cute. +10
Eye for details: "They look really good together!" Can't blame a dad for thinking so, even if we suspect he's talking about their matching scoop-neck tank-tops. +5
Sense of humor: "That's why we keep him around, too: Sympathy and pity." HaHA! This little jab at Frank's unemployed, basement-dwelling ways was the perfect blend of lighthearted jabbing and fatherly guilt-tripping. +20
Words of wisdom: We didn't get to hear much from Hank during the episode, but Ali writes in her People blog today, "He told me he doesn't think Frank is ready to be in a committed relationship. I was unsure what to think about those comments, but was grateful that his dad was being completely honest with me." Eeeeek. If you've seen the previews for next week's episode, you know Hank is right on the money, but that's still not the best thing to say to your son's TV girlfriend. +10 for honesty and insight, -25 for lack of son-support (what Jake Pavelka would call "undermining").

Total: 20

2. Roberto

Dad's name: Roberto Sr. Well, that's easy to remember! And this family tree has a sense of tradition, which is always exciting to marry into. +10
Proud papa-dom: Between telling Roberto, "You're a big prize," and telling Ali, "You just met a tremendous human being," there's no doubt this dad is supportive to the extreme, and totally adorable while being so. +20
Special skills: Salsa dancing. This Latin family knows how to party! And they're good dancers, too. Awesome. +15
Words of wisdom: After asking Ali some tough questions about work and family balance, he gives Roberto his blessing and says, "Follow your heart. Don't be afraid to be happy," striking the right balance between protective and supportive, but not giving his son much insight into Ali's answers. +7

Total: 52

1. Chris
 Dad's name: Ed. Sure, it doesn't rhyme with Chris, but "Grandpa Ed" sounds aaaah-dorable. +10
Special skills: Storytelling, slogan-making. Between the Notebook-esque story of how he and his late wife met, and his life's slogan, "Love is the only reality," we're convinced: Ed's positive energy and affectionate attitude could win over Ebenezer Scrooge. +30
Unique insight: He was the only one to make the connection that Chris and Ali both left their jobs to care for a sick loved one, giving them a sense of commonality even they didn't realize was there. +15
Words of wisdom: When Chris got down about how his mother would never meet his future wife, he pulled the perfect dad move, assuring his son that his mother was looking down on him, happy and proud. Awwwww. +20

Total: 75