Well, that was two-hours of straight-up awkward, wasn't it?

Last night on The Bachelorette, we saw a wide range of traits in Ali's remaining suitors, from Jonathan's debilitating anxiety about kissing to Justin's self-sabotaging sneakiness--both attracting the ridicule of the other guys, and both resulting in lonely man-tears. The Awkward Train really left the station when Hunter got his one-on-one date with Ali, but it wasn't all bad: Roberto, Chris L. and Kirk managed to make a connection with the Bachelorette without making anybody--us, Ali, the other men--recoil in disgust. That's a win in the Bachelorette book!

Speaking of books: Yes, I know it's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But Ty doesn't--though that didn't stop him from making the reference!

For the condensed versions of last night's Bachelorette episode, check out these exclusive BuddyTV offerings:
'Bachelorette-Bites': Jonathan Cries, Justin Gets Crucified
The Winners and Losers of Bachelorette Week 3

For the full details and color commentary, read on!

Sexy Latin lover Rrrrrroberto gets the first one-on-one date, and Ali picks him up in a helicopter to whisk him off to a 20-story building, on top of which they're strapped, harnessed and cabled into a high-wire apparatus for a "death-defying" (spoiler alert: there is no way they could possibly die) walk across air. Ali cooed about how "protective and manly" Roberto is--her favorite thing to say about the guys she likes is that they "make her feel safe." Is she normally worried about her personal safety? Are there monsters afoot? Maybe she should be looking for a bodyguard, not a boyfriend.

Roberto stops Ali in the middle of their high-wire walk for a kiss, which, given their precarious placement on tiny strings of metal, ends up looking like a kiss between two Playskool Wibble Wobbles. In all seriousness, though, it's pretty romantic moment, despite their bonking helmets:

After they make it across the wire, they hug and watch the sunset, and Rrrrroberto says, "I hope to watch a lot more of these with you." And then Ali gives him this look, which basically says, " Okay. Everyone else can just pack up and go home now. You win, Roberto!":

At dinner, Roberto continues to impress Ali by being so cultured and handsome, but she worries that she might not be pretty enough for him, which is ridiculous and silly and wrong, but will probably (definitely) come up again later.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion:
Justin "Rated R" Rego tells Jonathan "Cool Sunglasses" The Weatherman that he needs to find a way to step it up with Ali because he's operating "with a deficit." Why yes you ARE, Justin--but not in the way you're talking about.

The band plays the song for the group, and that's when all the guys put on their Professor Profundity caps to explain the significance of the song lyrics: "The song is called "You Run Away," and it's the situation we're all dealing with with Ali. It's so relevant!" - Frank

Each guy stars in a short scene with Ali where they are partially nude and either making out or not making out. In Frank's scene, Ali slaps him across the face for getting too handsy, and it's fun to watch, because yuck, Frank, am I right?! Frank also gets super jealous of Kirk, who makes out with Ali in bed (for their scene) but the kissing keeps on going after the director yells "CUT!"

But none of this mild discomfort and terrible acting even compares with Jonathan's scene. When he reads his script and finds out he'll need to kiss Ali, Jonathan gets extremely nervous and anxious (WHO KNOWS WHY?!), and makes this face, which is a tooootally normal face for a heterosexual male to make at the thought of kissing a beautiful woman: