Tonight on The Bachelorette:
Ali takes two guys on exciting individual "rose or goes" dates, and twelve guys go on pants-off beach photo shoot -- for charity.
17 guys remain after last week's premiere, and only 14 will continue through to next week. Who will make the cut?
For the short and sweet version of tonight's episode, check out our picks for the Winners and Losers of The Bachelorette Week 2
. For the fantastically drawn-out version, keep reading!
Date #1: Frank
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To kick off the season, Ali selects Rumpelstiltskin (that's my name for Frank, because he's small, shifty and would steal your child -- probably
) to go on a Hollywood-themed date. When he gets the date-card, he gets so excited that he can't stop popping his collar and sweating. Rumpy is already physically ill with love after one night, and the only cure is MORE Ali!
Ali looks like a lifesized Barbie doll (Sex and the City
2-style) when she picks up Frank in a turquoise convertible to head to ... wherever they're going, but the car breaks down on the highway (oh NO!), so they have to be *SPONTANEOUS!* (ha, ha, right) and hail a cab at the spur of the moment. Luckily, the magical Hollywood elves come and whisk the car away to their workshop inside an old oak tree to make sure it's good as new for the rest of the night. While the elves sprinkle their fancy magic (and their Keebler sprinkles) on the car, Ali takes Frank to this cool little place she knows called The Hollywood Sign:
There, they hug and share their first kiss while bonding over how their dreams of becoming famous are becoming realized right before our very eyes.
Later, after the elves worked their *Hollywood magic*, Ali and Frank go up to a lookout point and drink champagne on the hood of the car they are going to drive away in. Safe AND smart! They have a giggle and eat cupcakes, and Frank gets a rose for being so Rumpelsensational. He tells Ali he's "here until the end." We'll see about that!Meanwhile, back at the mansion:
The claws (and the muscle tanktops) begin to come out, as the men continue to question Justin's "Rated-R" (for rotten) intentions for being on this super-huge primetime TV show (oh no, does he want to become FAMOUS?) and Craig M. spreads his douchebaggery around for everyone.
Being the classically dumb and hypocritical bully that he is, Craig tries to knock down superhotguy Jesse by criticizing his tattoos, all while wearing a lady's hat. "You're a good looking guy, but that's it," says Craig M., whose most redeeming quality is his ability to make everyone else feel just a little
bit better about their own lives and choices. By comparison. Because otherwise he's just a sad, human-shaped awful-garbage-machine. With a stupid hat.NEXT>> Banana Hammock Beach Party!Skip to Page 3>> The Rose Ceremony