Only a few short hours separate us from the Bachelorette
season 8 premiere, when Emily Maynard will embark upon the romantic journey that will change her life forever ... or not ... considering the last time she got engaged on this show didn't go so well ...
I can't believe I almost forgot to give you the only way you're going to get through tonight's largely boring episode!
Yes, I've seen the episode sans rose ceremony, and I'm sorry to say that despite our new Bachelorette's genuinely lovely and refreshing personality, it looks like tonight's initial "meet and greet" between her and the guys might be more of a "bore and snore" for those of you who'd rather dispense with the pleasantries and get to the desperation and insanity.
And thankfully for tonight, you've got this brand new drinking game I just made up! So gather your pals and pints, and cheers to another round of hearing those words we all relish so much: "Will you accept this rose?"
Drink every time ...
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- Someone says "Ricki."
- Someone says "mom."
- You see a douchebag who considers himself a "luxury brand consultant" get out of his private helicopter.
- A single dad makes you go, "Aww."
- A terrible joke or pun makes you go, "Eeeek."
- You see a skateboard.
- You see an egg.
- You see a man dressed up as an old lady.
- A party DJ named Stevie acts like you'd expect a party DJ named Stevie would act.
- You see someone at the rose ceremony and think, "Did he even say a word tonight?"
Yes, tonight's drinking game is a little more subjective and conceptual than some of our past drinking games. But that's part of the fun -- it's like a Choose Your Own Adventure, with booze. Which we all know is the best kind of adventure. Because it always leads to the right place: Drunktown! (Just kidding. Please drink responsibly.) (Just kidding. You're already subjecting your brain to The Bachelorette. Do whatever you want with your liver.)
The Bachelorette premieres tonight at 9:30pm on ABC. And I'll be coming atcha with my full recap of the semi-shenanigans after the episode. So come back and read it tonight! Or in the morning, if this drinking game did its job.
(Image courtesy of ABC)