'The Bachelorette 5' Recap: Episode 3 (Page 3/3)
Meghan Carlson
Meghan Carlson
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Tanner P. worries that he doesn't have special skills to impress Jillian, but he is there "to suck on some toes," which is gross. Tanner grabs her for some private time, and he seems about to tell her which guys have the wrong agenda. But then he grabs her feet and puts them in his lap. ENOUGH OF THIS FOOT CLOWN! The psycho-stalker-circus music plays for what seems like foreveeeer as Tanner drools over Jill's feet. Yikes.

Juan tells Reid that he and Jill had a great, "real" talk inside, while David rallies the other guys outside for a Juan-Sucks party. Ed calls Dave "unstable," which is pretty on the money, except I might say "murderous and psychotic." Dave grabs another drink (awesome idea) and goes on a rampage. Reid says, "He looks like he's about to kill someone." David is set on the fact that Juan is "here for the wrong reasons."

(Public mental note: There is no Bachelorette drinking game--that I know of--but if there were, drinking when you hear "here for the right reasons" would definitely be a rule.)

Lots of bickering between Mark and David ensue, when Mark says he doesn't have a problem with Juan and Jillian doesn't need David's help deciding who is there "for the right reasons." Privately, Juan says he wants no part of David's drama, and he's just there for Jillian.

Meanwhile, Kiptyn and Jillian get some private time, and he says he's impressed and surprised by Jillian, and things feel natural between them. More kissing. Jillian loves what sweetheart Kip is. It doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous.

Back to the drama. It looks like an intervention as a pack of guys try to calm down David, and David repeatedly tells Juan to "go back inside." Juan insists on coming out, and he tries to clear the air with David. David brings up the fact that Juan faked his tequila shot in Episode 2 and calls him a phony "cheese ass." The way he's rambling, he's got to be drunk. David storms off, and Robby says he agrees 100% with David, which seems like an unwise alliance to make, even if David is right about Juan.

Ed is about to tell Jillian about the drama when Chris gathers them and gets Jillian ready for the rose ceremony. She thanks everyone for being there, and goes to make her decisions.

It's Rose Ceremony time. Just two guys are going home tonight. That's all. Seems cheap to me, but what do I know? We still have seven more weeks.

Jillian gives roses to (in order, + Ed and Robby, who are safe):
Jake (Jacob)
Tanner P.

So, Tanner F. ("Who?" you ask. "Exactly," I say.) and Brad ("Wait, that guy was straight?" you ask. "I know, right?" I say.) are gone. Brad leaves bitter, saying "She will never find love with those guys," and says that nobody can ever relate to him. Boo hoo.

The 13 remaining guys cheers with Jillian, and next week, she takes them to Vancouver, where David gets denied a kiss, and someone accuses someone else of having a girlfriend. In other words, things are about to GET GOOD!

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-Meghan Carlson, BuddyTV Staff Writer
Image courtesy of ABC