Now that Ali and Roberto are riding off into the celebrity sunset for their happily ever after, it's time for ABC to close the book on The Bachelorette
and look ahead to their next TV fairytale in the making on The Bachelor
. But first, the big decision: Which suitor from last season's Bachelorette
would make the perfect prince charming as the new Bachelor
If you watched this season with the same fine-toothed chemistry comb and iron-fisted judgmental attitude that I did, it's clear that two guys stand head-and-shoulders about the rest when it comes to all the qualities we want in a Bachelor
--looks, personality, back-story, sense of humor, and the ability to drive women to madness with one glance. Oh, and don't forget those pecs!
No, I'm not talking about Kasey Kahl, though a season of The Bachelor: To Guard and Protect Her Heart
would be unquestionably amazing. I'm talking about sweet, sensitive runner-up Chris L. and happy, hunky fourth-placer Kirk. Who's the right guy for the gig? Let's break it down in a side-by-side Bachelor showdown:
Let's get the obligatory superficial analysis out of the way: Who's cuter? It's all a matter of personal taste, especially with guys as hunky as these two. Kirk's got that hot athlete thing going on, but if we're talking classic Disney prince good looks, Chris may have a bit of an edge. I wouldn't mind seeing either of these guys waiting for me outside a limo, but tall, handsome Chris fits the "living Ken doll" Bachelor
ideal a bit more.Winner: Chris, by a (perfectly chiseled) nose.2. Personality
They're both sweet, thoughtful and stable--but what sets them apart? Let's be frank (but not that
Frank): Kirk is funnier, quirkier and more energetic. He'd be the male equivalent of Jillian Harris: Spunky and enthusiastic, but still, you know, a real human being. Chris is more of the strong, sensitive type: His sense of humor is more dead-pan, his demeanor cooler but still always good-humored, and he's harder to read. It's not a question of whose personality is better, but whose is better for television
, and that would be ...Winner: Kirk. He'd be the funniest Bachelor since Bob.
Kirk survived a deadly mold infection that inspired him to treat every day as a gift and live life to the fullest. Chris left his job in New York City to nurse his ailing mother, who passed away last year and inspired him to find love and cherish family. The heartstrings, they be a tuggin'!Winner: Chris, though Kirk's is still solid. And this is a bit problematic, because the last thing Chris or his family needs is for The Bachelor to further exploit his personal pain for a story arc. 4. Eloquence
Whoever ends up The Bachelor
will be talking at us a lot,
so it's important that he knows what to say and how to say it without drawing a blank or annoying the bejeezus out of us. Kirk has a quick wit and got in plenty of entertaining soundbites this season, while Chris had a refreshing "tell it like it is" way of phrasing his feelings--though he played those cards close to the chest for the better part of the season. Winner: Kirk. Comic timing, self-awareness and the ability to think of plenty of synonyms for "amazing."5. Sensitive Side
On one side, we've got Kirk, the scrapbook king. On the other, Chris, the man who cried at rainbows--and for good reason. Kirk, you put up a good fight, but this is just no contest.Winner: Chris. Taste the rainbow.6. Agreeability to "The Process"
Both guys have said that their time with Ali on The Bachelorette
made them realize they're ready to get back out there and find the right woman. But that's not quite
the same thing as giving yourself a pool of 25 women, a timeline of three months, and the constraints of getting falling in love--with multiple women at once--on national television. Winner: Kirk. He had no problem jumping in to the reality dating game, while Chris admitted "it was hard watching so much of my personal life and intimate details of dating and love on TV." If Chris thought going after one girl was hard, how would he handle the advances of 25 at once?Verdict: It's a tie!
Chris already has the ladies swooning with his Bachelor
good-looks, inspirational life story and sensitive side, while Kirk's got the personality, way with words and camera-ready attitude to handle the pressure that being The Bachelor
I guess that means we'll have to take it to a vote.
Who do you think would make a better Bachelor: Chris or Kirk?
(Image courtesy of ABC)