All the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad news bites that are fit to give an e-rose to and invite back to your mind's Fantasy Suite so you two can "get to know each other a little better."

Ali Talks Elopement
Ali Fedotowsky recently told People that she and her TViance (that's the word I just made up for "TV fiance") Roberto Martinez would love to avoid going through "all the motions" of wedding planning and just elope. Ali, you and I both know that ABC would be happy to go through all those motions for you. By planning a fancy schmancy TV wedding for us all to creepily, vicariously enjoy.

Chris Lambton Fans: You'll Either Love This or Hate This
Bachelor fan camp seems to be split over whether we'd like to see Chris, the hunky Massachusetts lad who got runner-up for Ali's heart, take his chance as the next Bachelor or go back to his tabloid-less civilian life. On the one hand: More adorable Chris on our TVs just can't be a bad thing. But on the other hand: Chris turning down the Bachelor TV love factory just proves how nice and normal he really is! Well, there's still room for compromise. Maybe. ABC is doing all they can to woo Chris back in front of the camera, and he told US Weekly the only way he'd do it is if he can "break the rules" because, according to a souce, "he thought it was weird to have people watch him so closely on the show."

But If Chris's "Rule-Breaker" Season Doesn't Work Out ...
Maybe Tim Tebow would be up for a traditional Bachelor season? After all, he was just named the "most eligible Christian bachelor in America." Does that mean he wouldn't be willing to make out on camera?

And If Not Tim ...
Kiptyn Locke told Extra that if he was single, he'd be the next Bachelor. (Yes, please!) Also on Extra that night, a big, fat "No, thank you" in the form of Jake Pavelka, who gave Chris, Ali and Roberto advice on how to deal with Bachelor fame. Because he's such a good example ... ?

Today in "Duh": Tenley Molzahn Calls Herself "Completely Naive"
Tenley told People that she wished her eyes had been "a little more open" to all the alliances forming in the house on Bachelor Pad (which are kind of hard to miss, seeing that they're ALL ANYONE EVER TALKS ABOUT on the show), and then coyly played off any continued romance with Kiptyn. They both sound pretty single to me.

The Weatherman As You've Never Seen Him Before
Check out this interview with Jonathan "The Weatherman" Novack in the Huffington Post (Still calling yourself a "news" source? Oh, OK then.) complete with a super sexy model-y headshot. Could the Weatherman be looking into a new career as a male model? If only we were so lucky ... And speaking of luck, those of you in Los Angeles have more than I do: Watch out for Jonathan to hit the comedy club circuit there soon! [End Sarcasm]

Next Week on Bachelor Pad:
The "Nasty Truth" quiz makes Tenley cry, makes Jesse B. fly high and, most importantly, draws attention to many of the houseguests' spelling issues. PLUS: Dave calls Wes a "jackass." Riveting stuff! Don't miss it. And be sure check back here the night of for my full recap of the madness.



(Image courtesy of ABC)