The Celebrity Apprentice

The live two-hour finale of The Celebrity Apprentice went by smoothly tonight, and the main reason is that they didn't spend too much time in the live studio.  Most of the episode was like any other Apprentice episode, and focused mainly on the taped final task.  The competition between Trace Adkins and Piers Morgan went as expected – Piers made the most money (by a long shot) and Trace came out looking like the nice, tactful guy he is.  People like Trace and Piers gets things done.  Who did Donald Trump choose, then, as the first Celebrity Apprentice? 

The episode begins in the live studio, with Trump and his two children at his side a faux boardroom.  From there, we watch a long recap of the entire season. Trace Adkins picked Lennox Lewis and Marilu Henner for his finale team.  Piers Morgan got Carol Alt and Stephen Baldwin. 

Piers calls fellow America's Got Talent judge Sharon Osbourne.  He also calls Andrew Lloyd Webber.  He wants to use these people to have creative auction items.  He gets Webber to donate two tickets to opening night to the Phantom of the Opera sequel.  Piers and Stephen make up in the van ride. 

Trace has to keep dealing with The Backstreet Boys.  He gets a call from the “band” and, at the last minute, they need black nail polish.  Trace is baffled.  He and Lennox go to the drug store and buy nail polish.  Stephen has a very difficult time selling tickets.  Piers gets worried just hours before the event, and they haven't sold very many tickets. 

Trace's cowboy friends begin arriving on the chartered plane.  Trace and his team have a hell of a time furnishing the event.  Trace is having trouble with the time constraints.  Trace's wife and two adorable daughters show up and that makes Trace happy.  Piers tells the wait staff to get everyone as drunk as possible.  Loaded celebrities = loads of money, says Piers. 

The Backstreet Boys show up and one of the Boys needs a knee brace.  Trace is not shy about talking smack about The Backstreet Boys.  He really hates them, and it's awesome.  He calls them “the BSB.” 

Trump reiterates that the players will be judged on auction sales and ticket sales, respectively.  And, they also had to throw a nice party.  The event begins, and both Trace and Piers start talking to people in the crowd.  Trace's big pull is country legend Ronnie Millsap.  His country buddies all give big cash donations to the charity.  The wounded veterans that Piers invited show up in uniform.  He wants them to mingle. 

The auction begins and the Super Bowl book goes for about $18,000.  Then Piers' Tea with The Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson item goes to a big time financial company president for a cool $100,000.  That certainly helped Piers' case.  Aww, a dinner with Trace Adkins goes only for $6,000...to Ivanka Trump.

A Dinner with The Osbournes goes to the same financial dude for $100,000 again.  Ozzy's band is going to play for them too.  Piers has himself some formidable contacts.  The final item is a day of shopping with Ivanka Trump.  Simon Cowell calls in from England to bid on the shopping with Ivanka.  Simon wins the item with a $100,000 bid.  Trace isn't happy with the whole production during the auction.

The Backstreet Boys didn't get the wheatgress they asked for, but they perform nonetheless.  We see entirely too much of The BSB for my taste.  Piers and Trace are very happy with what they've accomplished, and proud of each other. 

The two finalists and four other helper celebrities go to the final taped boardroom.  Donald Trump was very pleased with the entire event.  There's a lot more re-hashing of The BSB and how Trace handled him.  Piers claims he would not have sucked up to them like Trace did.  Piers raised $376,000 to $64,000 for Trace in the auction sales.  Trace destroyed Piers in ticket sales, but that's with the caveat that Piers gave a way almost half his tickets to the veterans.  Trace and Piers then get a little frisky about the type of donors (rich people vs. country singers) each brought to the event.  Next, Piers is taken to task for his “get everyone drunk” strategy.  Then, it's onto the Piers vs. Stephen debate.  Piers makes his ultimate point – the competition, for him, was a Machiavellian one.  His only goal was to make the charities money, the means be damned. Trace thinks that Piers has lashed out in unreasonable manner a number of times.  Trace does admit that the two finalists did work together well on the charity auction event. 

After, the taped segment of the show, we head to the live boardroom in front of the studio audience.    All of the eliminated celebrities returned to the stage, except for Gene Simmons.  Omarosa doesn't come out just yet – they show a montage of Omarosa and Piers fighting first.  It doesn't make Omarosa look very good.  She then comes on to the stage, strutting and posing like the egomaniac she is.  Omarosa starts talking smack about Piers' dental hygiene.  The fired celebrities all talk about the relative merits about Trace and Piers.  None of the say anything enlightening on live television.  No on really says anything nice about Piers.  Vincent Pastore calls out Lennox for turning on him.  The fired celebrities overwhelmingly support Trace. 

Next, Trump spoke live to Gene Simmons via satellite from Tokyo, where the Kiss man is shooting a movie.  Gene does not back down by his stance on the Kodak stance he took – it's mostly a cross-promotional moment for Kodak.  Gene says that while Piers performs best, Trace has symbolic meaning and a good American quality.  He says that Trace should win. 

Trace Adkins then performed live.  The man has a good voice, even if it's not my type of music. 

In the waning minutes of the episode, Trace and Piers make their case to Donald Trump.  Piers case is difficult to ignore – he made the most money, brought in the most celebrities and won the most challenges.  Piers doesn't not apologize for his tact or his behavior.  The Trumps try to set up Trace as the possible winner, but Piers is making it difficult.  In the end, Trump has no choice but to choose Piers Morgan as the Celebrity Apprentice.  Good decision – you can't argue with the numbers.  


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of NBC)