'The Amazing Race' 19 Recap: And The Winners Are ...
'The Amazing Race' 19 Recap: And The Winners Are ...
I can't believe Andy and Tommy aren't in this to win anymore--I thought they'd win the whole thing! But I have to get over it, because The Amazing Race 19 is down to its final three, which does not include professional snowboarders. It does, however, have three couples: a dating couple, an engaged couple, and a married couple.

Jeremy and Sandy won the last leg, so they are first to depart Panama City for Atlanta, Georgia. "Now we're going to Atlanta, this sucks," Sandy says. Yes, I imagine it does! Marcus and Amani are from Atlanta, so they have an advantage, but it also sucks because they're going to Atlanta.

Marcus is making his final football analogies: They are going to the Superbowl and have a home field advantage. The teams wait in line for the same flight to Atlanta at 8:30. Jeremy says there are "no more friends right now," which is basically his excuse to be even more of a dick from here on out. OK, he's not that bad, but maybe it's about to get bad?

The teams head for the taxis, and Ernie and Cindy have trouble finding someone who knows where the Atlanta Learning Center is. Jeremy demands that their driver show him a full tank of gas, which is a new one. Then Sandy insists that he not tell any other cab drivers where they're going. Good plan.

Teams arrive at FlightSafety International for a flight simulator challenge. They will learn a flight simulator and then land their "aircraft." Ugh, it's like a ride but not fun. Well, it's fun for some people, like Jeremy. I feel sick just watching. They just got off a plane!

It looked realistic, and dark and scary, in there. The women all co-captained, quickly learning how to be a backseat plane captain. Cindy and Ernie's plane was going so slow it would have fallen out of the sky, so they have to start over. Marcus and Amani have a bumpy landing and have to do it over again, as Jeremy mastered the landing and they got their next clue.

Jeremy and Sandy head to "The Dump," The former residence of the author of Gone With the Wind. They will receive a clue from a woman in a hoop skirt. Fiddle-dee-dee. Ernie and Cindy land their second time, declaring it "whack," and Amani and Marcus have to go a third time.

Any advantage Amani and Marcus may have had from living in Atlanta may have been lost, after their third botched landing. Definitely after their fourth.

Jeremy and Sandy ask a guy, who refers them to The Dump, which is also the name of a discount furniture store. He thinks it is "one of those old Home Depot stores." They have to know that can't be it, though, it's not a residence! Ernie and Cindy call information, and get the good stuff. Jeremy and Sandy ask their driver to look it up on his phone.

Ernie and Cindy call themselves "A+ students" of the race, referring to Jeremy and Sandy and Amani and Marcus as C students. Then Marcus, a definite C student of flight, failed to land the plane again.

Stupidly, Jeremy and Sandy go to the furniture store, definitely NOT a residence, but they're going to look for that clue box anyway. "Former residence ..." Jeremy says out loud, the words not registering. They ask a sales associate at The Dump, and he tells them, "it still is The Dump," which is true, but entirely unhelpful. The search for the clue box continues. What a delightful blunder!

"Are we idiots and in the wrong spot?" Sandy asks out loud, after telling Jeremy to "be methodical." YES, you are in the wrong spot! Ernie and Cindy, in the right spot, get their Road Block telling them to type their next clue on a typewriter. Ernie volunteers, then realizes it's a typing challenge, causing him and Cindy both to curse.

Ernie sits down and asks for support on how to operate the typewriter. Oh, dear. Typewriters don't have tech support, especially not on The Amazing Race. But Jeremy and Sandy are still at the wrong Dump and Amani and Marcus are still in the LearJet, so Ernie is doing OK.

Jeremy and Sandy borrow a woman's smartphone, and finally figure out that they need to go to Margaret Mitchell's house. Then, Ernie discovered there is no 1 key on the typewriter, and he needs one! He's supposed to figure out to use the lowercase "L" as a substitute. Ernie was smart, though, and looked at all the typeface to find the best substitute.

The numbers are incredibly cryptic. 44 - 715 - 74 direct the teams to Hank Aaron's (#44) Home Run record (715 runs), in the year 1974 at Turner Field. Good God. Ernie and Cindy head for a hotel to ask a concierge, and Sandy decides it's her turn to type.

Ernie and Cindy get to Googling (what would this show be without a search engine?), and Sandy ponders if she'll ever find The One.

Marcus finally landed the simulation! Everyone vomit with relief. Amani comforts Marcus by continuing his Superbowl football analogy. Google sends Ernie and Cindy to Turner Field. They really are A+ students of the Race.

At Turner Field, the teams will face an agonizing mental map challenge. There's a giant map of the world in front of them, and they'll have to physically map out the race in a harness, with a teammate screaming instructions. They are not allowed to use notes. I just watched from my couch and I would not be able to remember everywhere they went and in what order without notes.

Cindy is first up to the map, and must run a red rope through the carabiner of each country, in order. The map isn't even labeled, so you have to know your geography. This is a great challenge for Cindy, who loves to study, and a terrible challenge for someone like me, who is an idiot about geography and gets lost in video games.

Cindy is really clipping along, and she nails each stop. They deserve to win at this point. Phil said this could change the entire race, but he clearly underestimated Cindy. Their clue sends them to Swan House for the Pit Stop and the finish line. Ernie and Cindy are getting it DONE. Their cab driver, however, is missing turns.

Jeremy and Sandy hit the map next, but forgot Indonesia. Ernie and Cindy are stuck in traffic. Always with the traffic! Jeremy and Sandy remember Indonesia, and quickly clip it together. They're heading to The Swan House, and Ernie and Cindy are still re-calculating. It's close!

But Ernie and Cindy bust through the gate first, to supportive but resentful eliminated teams. Andy and Tommy look particularly sad. Do you think they know about the cab thing yet? If so, they probably have anger in their hearts. Ernie and Cindy win, and take home the million dollars. They will put the money toward an organization "to help those in need." Nice and vague!

"My parents will say, 'I knew you'd win,'" Cindy says, explaining to Phil how high her parents' expectations for her are. Quit being such a bummer, Cindy! They note that the Amazing Race was great pre-marital counseling for them.

Jeremy and Sandy finish second, and they didn't throw up or kill each other. Great job, guys! Hours later, I'm sure, Amani and Marcus finished the race. Phil makes Marcus promise never to become a pilot. Ha-ha, you ruined the race for yourselves! Good one, Phil.

(image courtesy of CBS)