The Amazing Race
stayed in Russia tonight, where it was very cold. Snowy, below freezing, and what do the cruel producers of The Amazing Race
decide to do to their racing hamsters? Make them strip down to their underwear and run through the busy Russian streets in the snow. The underwear run ranged from the sublime (Cara looked quite good) to the disturbing (Mark is a bizarrely rotund little man). The ending had a little twist, which was probably to be expected, given that The Amazing Race
stayed in Russia tonight. What follows is a glorious recap of tonight's episode of The Amazing Race
. Please enjoy.
The Rooney Report:
The Amazing Race is available on Amazon Prime.
Andy Rooney talked about newspapers. At CBS, he gets eight different papers. He lists them all off, and then talks about how long it would take to read an entire newspaper. Also – he reads the paper every day. He's worried about papers. He loves them. When he was a kid, he delivered papers. He rambles about going to see movies when he was a kid. The connection? Beats me. The point? C'mon, this is Andy Rooney. He hasn't even tried to have a point for at least a decade. What the hell were we supposed to glean from his ramblings tonight? That newspapers are fun to read? That Andy Rooney used to be a kid? I'm confused.
I'm still a little sad that Kris and Amanda were eliminated last week. Stupid U-Turn. Well-used by Margie and Luke
, but definitely cutthroat. It has to be said that Amanda and Kris
handled everything very well during their elimination. Tonight, the teams stay in Russia.
The Theater of Musical Comedy is where our teams depart from on this, the fifth leg. Christie and Jodi
leave around noon. They have to ride the Trans-Siberian Railroad to a place called Novisabirsk. Kisha and Jen depart next. They could be sleepers on the season – good athletes. The weather looks straight up awful – cold and snowy. The train doesn't leave until 10pm at night – all teams will be on the same train. Mel and Mike
are quite happy about it. Victor whines about how cold it is outside.
Everyone gets a sleeper car. Mark and Michael
look pretty adorable, sleeping next to each other. Couple of little dudes. Mike is surprised that Luke and Margie are still around – he calls them the “power players.” He also says that they are starting a whole new archetype - “the sinister deaf kid.” Ha.
The train gets to Novosibirsk the next morning, and people run off in a bunch of different directions. Kisha and Jen are going the wrong way, Cara and Jaime
keep working together with Margie and Luke. They are all heading to the clue box, whose name is too ungainly to even think about typing. Kisha and Jen are in last place early in the leg.
Detour – Russian Bride of Russian Snow Plow
In Russian Bride, teams take an old-school car, drive to an apartment complex, pick up a Russian Bride then drive her across town to a church. In Snow Plow, teams have to drive to an arena where they have to drive a snow plow through a training course. Margie, Luke, Cara and Jaime decide to do the plow. Tammy and Victor
follow. Mel and Mike do the Brides. The cars are all stick shifts, which proves difficult for Victor. Tammy and Victor get lost again, after ditching the other two teams. Jerks. Luke and Margie complain. Umm, guys – Kettle. Black.
Mel and Mike quickly find the apartment building with the bride. This whole detour is mildly disturbing. The brides look like cult members. Their gowns look like they were designed by Bjork. Cara and Jaime are the first to get to the stadium. In the Snow Plow detour, each team member has to drive the plow through the course. Tammy says the biggest vehicle she's ever driven is a Mercedes. Oh, shut up. Jaime and Cara have a little freak-out at the snow plow. Jodi and Christie have a run-in with locals who smell like vodka.