The Amazing Race 14: Episode 3 "I'm Not Wearing That Girl's Leotard!" Recap
The nine remaining teams embarked to Romania on tonight's episode.  According to CBS and the producers of The Amazing Race, Romania is only known for vampires and gypsies.  Now, I'm all for highlighting the most accessible niches of a foreign culture for the mass-consumption of xenophobic Americans, but vampires and gyspies?  Really?  I have to bet that any Romanian watching tonight's episode was quite appalled that their beautiful country was summed up by smelly, disgusting gypsies and mythical, blood-sucking creatures with a very tenuous basis in reality.  Those gypsies looked like plants, anyway.  On to the recap.

Andy Rooney Report:

This week, Andy whined about how every year revolves around Christmas, the Super Bowl, and The Oscars.  And, then, Andy Rooney waxes poetic on how funny the word February is.  It's spelled with an extra “r!”  Crazy.  Then Andy rambles on about the year, and the weather.  Andy lets us know that he wears the exact same suit all year.  CBS – it is embarrassing that you let this old coot remain on television.  He makes my roommate's dog (who routinely poops on his owner's bed and has a tendency to bark incessantly at inanimate objects) seem particularly lucid.  I also suspect Rooney is regurgitating material from 1964. 

The Amazing Race does that thing where they do the “Previously On...” clips, then the theme song, and then go to commercial, before any new footage airs.  I hate that.  The actual episode doesn't start until ten minutes into the hour.  Sorry – I think Andy Rooney has infected me with Old Man Whining Syndrome.  It's addictive, and I can already feel it affecting my prostate. 

The Leg Begins – Salzburg, Austria

Tammy and Victor depart at 10am, have to train ti Munich, and then fly to Bucharest, Romania.  Once there, the teams must travel to a Gymnastics Hall, the same place where Nadia Comanechi trained.  Tammy and Victor book a flight, then get on a train.  Mel and Mike, Kris and Amanda and Margie and Luke leave in quick succession.  Tammy and Victor manage to get seats on a flight that they thought was full.

Brad and Victoria depart – it turns out that Brad is a former alcoholic and drug addict.  On their train, Kris and Amanda meet a man with a cell phone – he books a flight for them.  Brad and Victoria do the same.  They book a later flight, because the first flight is too quick a connection.  Kris and Amanda are going to try and huff it. 

Tammy and Victor get on a 3:25 flight that no one else gets on.  Unfortunately, Tammy and Victor's flight is having issues and has to fly back to Munich.  Yikes.  Brad and Victoria make a risky move and get on a flight that connects in Amsterdam.  Mel and Mike and Amanda and Kris get on the 4:45 flight.  Tammy and Victor miss it.  The remaining teams, it appears, will all be getting on the 9:30 flight, which arrives at 12:25am.  I bet everyone will have to wait overnight in Romania anyway. 

Brad and Victoria miss their connecting flight in Amsterdam.  Sucks for them.  There are no more flights leaving that night.  They have to get on a 9:15am flight the next morning. 

Road Block

Amanda and Kris, Margie and Luke, and Mel and Mike arrive at the gymnastics hall in Bucharest.  It's open, too.  Teams have to perform moves on the balance beam, the parallel bars and the floor exercise.    Amanda does the gymnastics, and does well on the balance beam.  Margie is having trouble. Amanda dominates the whole thing.  Next destination – Bresov, in Transylvania, where they must find the Black Church.  Mike White looks quite ridiculous in his tights.  Margie finishes second.  At the train station, Amanda/Kris and Margie/Luke find that the soonest train is at 6:30am.  They have to wait.  The 9:30pm flight arrives, the teams go to the Sports Complex.  Tammy and Victor get lost, Victor being the somewhat arrogant know-it-all we all assumed he was.  Tammy struggles with the gymnastics.  Christie and Jodi leap into fourth place, Mark/MIchael, Kisha/Jen and Cara/Jaime right behind them.  Victor is obnoxious while cheering on Tammy during her gymnastics.  All the teams, save Brad and Victoria, are going to be stuck together at the train station. 

Tammy cries to the camera outside of the train station.  On one hand, it's an overreaction.  On the other, Victor is kind of a dick. 

The top 8 teams get on the train to Bresov.  Cara and Jaime have become solid friends with Luke.  Brad and Victoria are lame ducks here – I can't imagine that they have any sort of chance.  They leave Amsterdam at about the same time the other teams arrive in Bresov. 

Detour – Gypsy Moves or Vampire Remains

In Gypsy Moves, teams go to a gypsy settlement where they have to load up a gypsy family's belongings and transport them to a specified destination.  In Vampire Remains, teams have to take a casket, unlock it, then impale a number of wooden plates on a stake in order to find a yellow flag.  Jaime and Cara's taxi driver is lost.  The gypsy camp is bizarre.  The gypsy belongings include car bodies and gigantic tires – doesn't look like a lot of fun.  The gypsies also play really bad music.  Amanda and Kris dominate once more, get their truck loaded up quickly.  Oh, you silly gypsies.  Tammy and Victor and Christie and Jodi decided to do the Vampire detour.  Jodi and Christie find their coffin quickly.  Tammy and Victor get lost, and they start bickering at each other.  Tammy and Victor are climbing a mountain, unnecessarily. 

Pit Stop - Vila Panoramic

Amanda and Kris are the first to finish the Detour.  However, Kris lost his fanny pack somewhere.  Cara/Jaime and Margie/Luke find their coffins quickly.  Meanwhile, Brad and Victoria are doing the gymnastics, finish it easily.  Kris starts to freak out a bit – his fanny pack has all their money, passports and whatnot inside.  Meanwhile, Tammy and Victor are following a bunch of red markers that have nothing to do with the race.  Kris finally finds his pack. 

Mel and Mike are team number one.  They win a trip for two to Costa Rica. 

Amanda and Kris are the second team to arrive. 

Victor is all whiny and annoying.  He wants Tammy to keep going, following these signs.  I hope Brad and Victoria beat them.  Victor finds a marker that he thinks they have to follow – it involves climbing up another big freaking hill.  Fool.

Tammy keeps trying to convince Victor to walk back down the mountain.  Victor is now crying.  Finally, they decide to go back down the mountain. 

Kisha and Jen are team number three.  Margie and Luke are team number four.  Tammy and Victor easily find the markers once they get to the bottom of the mountain.  Mark and Michael are team number five.  Christie and Jodi are team number six.  Victor is being a drama queen while moving the coffin.  Then they mess up and think they have to find a key they think they lost. 

Jaime and Cara are team number seven.  Now Tammy and Victor are searching the hill for their key.  And, hey they found it.  Tammy and Victor are team number eight. 

I like how they didn't even try to make it seem that Brad and Victoria had a chance. 

Brad and Victoria have been eliminated from the race.

-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)