Regular recapper Oscar Dahl is out on the town tonight, so I'm strapping on my backpack, grabbing my Travelocity Roaming Gnome and jumping into The Amazing Race 13.  Last week, Terence and Sarah were eliminated after Terence, manly man that he is, failed to wolf down a hearty helping of sheep's butt to win the Fast Forward.  Nick and Starr grabbed the prize instead, advancing to the pit stop and landing in first place once again.  The shiny, Disney-ready duo have really dominated the race, but tonight's episode proves that they're not infallible.

I'll be here throughout tonight's Amazing Race with my live thoughts, and I may even throw in a Phil Keoghan impression as a bonus.

Nick and Starr are the first to depart this week.  The teams are heading to Moscow, Russia, where they'll have to go to a famed monastery and light a candle before receiving their next clue.  Unfortunately, the first flight to Russia isn't until 6am, which means all the teams will be on equal footing.  Starr made her brother a shirt with "Today is my birthday" written on it.  I really like these two, but their extremely close relationship is almost creepy.

Dallas and Starr flirt some more at the airport.  She thinks he's incredible, he thinks she's cool, and even Nick approves of the pairing.  It's not long before all of the teams arrive at the airport, including a still shoeless Andrew and Dan.  They go to the shoe store in the Kazakhstan airport, but spending money on footwear will probably lead to trouble in Moscow.  Of course, Dandrew are destined to bumble through every leg of the race, so they blow their cash without a second thought.

The teams land in Moscow, grab cabs and head to the monastery.  As usual, most of the cab drivers have no clue where they're going.  Ken and Tina and Dan and Andrew get delayed as their drivers ask for directions, but the other two teams make it there without a problem.  Both teams grab their clues at the same time, and find out they have to head to a Russian military base.  Dallas and Toni are in first place with Nick and Starr close behind.

As Ken and Tina fall to last place, Dallas and Toni arrive at the military base and pick up their next clue.  It's a Detour called "Boots or Borscht."  In Boots, teams have to don a standard Russian military uniform, including a special foot wrap, and learn a traditional parade march from some troops.  They then have to march one full lap without making any mistakes before moving on.  In Borscht, teams have to serve 75 troops some borscht.  That seems a lot easier to me, but no one chooses that option right off the bat.

Thanks to a clueless driver, Nick and Starr get lost on the way to the Detour.  They're stuck asking for directions while the other three teams get dressed up in their military garb.  Dandrew have trouble figuring out the foot wrap, holding them up while Dallas and Toni finish their march and move on.  They get another clue telling them to head to a bakery in a nearby town.

Nick and Starr finally arrive at the Detour just as Dandrew decide to do the borscht challenge.  They throw on their aprons and chef's hats, then realize they weren't supposed to remove their military uniforms.  They go back, throw on the uniforms and go back to the marching challenge, wasting tons of time.  "A compilation video needs to be made of all our mistakes during the race," Andrew says.  Dan points out that it would be as long as Braveheart.  I think it'd be about as long as Berlin Alexanderplatz.

While the other teams head off to the bakery, Dan and Andrew make asses of themselves by attempting to march.  Once the soldiers laugh at them for a while, they decide to go back to the borscht challenge.  Meanwhile, Toni and Dallas arrive at the bakery and get a Road Block.  Teams have to unload fifty 55-pound bags of flour from a truck and pile them in the bakery.  It's a tough challenge, and I suddenly wish Terence was still around to whine his way through it.  Dallas gets to work, and soon Ken is racing against him.  Nick and Starr get lost yet again thanks to their driver.

Dandrew finish serving the borscht and grab a cab, but they're afraid they won't have enough money to pay for it.  At the bakery, Dallas finishes unloading the flower and gets a clue revealing the pit stop.  Teams have to make their way through the busy Moscow streets and arrive at Neskuchny Sad Park, where Phil will be waiting with either a smile or a scowl.

The bakery task isn't very easy for Nick, but he finishes before Dan and Andrew arrive.  Unfortunately, Nick and Starr have trouble waving down a cab, giving Dan some time to haul the flour into the bakery.  Andrew thinks his partner is a stud, which makes me wonder if a not-so-hunky bromance is breaking out.

Nick and Starr finally get a cab, but the guy has to stop for directions AGAIN.  It's like they're cursed this week.  They get a new cab driver while Dandrew finish the task and head to the pit stop.  They're still worried they won't have enough money to pay, but at least their driver seems to know where he's going.

Toni and Dallas are the first to arrive on the mat, and they win a trip to the Dominican Republic for their efforts.  Ken and Tina come in second.  After driving for over an hour and getting lost numerous times, Nick and Starr get out of the cab and try to find the pit stop.  Meanwhile, Dan and Andrew haggle with the cab driver.  They've made it to the park, but they don't have enough money to pay.  Dan tries to sell his shoes for a hundred bucks, but the cabbie doesn't go for it.  Where is he going to sell a pair of used shoes?  They finally convince the driver to let them go after they hand over all their money.

Nick and Starr arrive in third place, followed by Andrew and Dan.  Luckily for the bumbling frat boys, this is a non-elimination leg.  However, they will have to deal with a Speed Bump next week.

On the next Amazing Race, Dan and Andrew attempt to perfect their dancing skills, and one team loses their passport and all of their money.  If it's anyone but the Blunder Twins, I'll be surprised.

4th Place: Dan and Andrew
3rd Place: Nick and Starr
2nd Place: Ken and Tina
1st Place: Toni and Dallas


- Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)