I don't remember the Thanksgiving holiday being so taxing.  I am legitimately tired after eating and drinking and talking to relatives for four days.  Perhaps I'm getting old.  After the long weekend, It's nice to get back to some good television.  The Amazing Race is, once again, delayed on the east coast thanks to the New York Jets-Denver Broncos football match.  In case you missed it, Brett Favre and his band of merry men were summarily thrashed by the golden arm of Jay Cutler and his fellow Rocky Mountain denizens.  I'll be here for the entire episode of The Amazing Race once it begins.  In the meantime, drink some port, fix yourself a turkey melt and ready yourself for Andy Rooney, who'll make even your crazy uncle seem lucid. 

Andy Rooney is looking especially decrepit today.  He's rambling about how he's saving money in today's economy.  Andy Rooney - get this - mixes regular and premium gas when he fills up.  He also brews his own coffee.  And, he takes the bus to New York Giants football games.  This only reinforces my theory that CBS stopped paying Andy Rooney in 1984. 

Four teams remain.  Andrew and Dan, because they finished last in the previous leg, have to overcome a speed bump on this leg.  The Speed Bump is a challenge that only they have to conquer.  We'll see if their insane, otherworldly luck can continue.  Also, apparently one of the teams loses their passports and money.  This will be difficult to overcome, though the teams aren't leaving Moscow for this leg. 

Toni and Dallas are the first to depart.  They must travel by taxi to an old nuclear submarine and find the sonar room.  Once there, a dude who was in The Hunt for red October will give them a clue.  Dallas has to draw a submarine for the cabbie.  The language barrier is very difficult here in Russia.  Ken and Tina depart next.  Tina has to draw a submarine too.  Nick and Starr are the next to leave.  Andrew and Dan, who have no right making it to the final four, have a chance to make the final three.  They wonder if Sean Connery will be waiting for them in the submarine.  The first three teams all arrive on the submarine at the same time, with Dallas and Ken finding the clue first, closely followed by Nick and Starr. 

Next, teams head to the Graveyard of Fallen Monuments.  I think this is the place in the Bond movie Goldeneye.  They must search the grounds for their next clue.  The first three teams are stuck in abysmal traffic.  Andrew and Dan, after the sub, find an English speaking taxi.  Nick and Starr find the clue next.  It's a Road Block.  They have to scour the park and count the number of Lenin and Stalin statues, combine the numbers, go to a bookstore, tell the bookkeeper the number, get a book, turn to the right page number and learn that they have to go to a famous apartment.  That's completely insane.  This is going to take Dandrew multiple days to finish. 

Foreshadowing?  When Dallas decides to do the Road Block, Toni mentions that she's giving him the money and the passports.  Meanwhile, Dandrew went to the wrong park.  They can literally not do anything right. 

Nick has found six Lenin statues and two Stalins.  Those are the right numbers.  Good work, sir.  Dallas is searching as well, but he appears lost.  Ken and Tina show up and are bickering at each other.  Tina mentions the money and the passports too.  Ken, Toni and Starr wait at the apartment where they hope to meet their partners after they figure out the clue.   Nick arrives at the bookstore, gives the right number, receives the book and heads to the address given.  Dallas gives the number 36.  He is not close. 

Dallas, at the bookstore, has to wait ten minutes between guesses at the bookstore.  Nick arrives at the apartment – he and Starr get the next clue – they have to go to another park and find the woman with the Shetland Pony.  OK.  They find the pony and the woman.  It's a Detour.  Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines.  On Ride the Rails, they have to follow clues by primarily using the metro subway system.  In Ride the Lines, teams have to walk to a bus stop and follow more clues. 

Nick and Starr decide to Ride the Rails.  Andrew is shown around the statue park by a local.  Tina figures it out, then tells Dallas the right number.  Andrew thinks the number is 61.  Wrong, sir.  No one has yet lost their money and passports.  Nick and Starr attempt to decipher the subway system.  It's pouring down rain now.  Tina is upset that she helped Dallas.  Andrew is denied by the bookkeeper. 

Oh no!  Dallas left his bag with the money and the passports in his cab as he reaches the apartment.  He tries to flag it down, but to no avail.  Andrew guesses that the number is 62.  Wow.  Dan has no money to lend Dallas and Toni, though he probably wouldn't have given them any if he had it.  Dallas and Toni end up getting some money for some locals.  Andrew and Dan are only a couple minutes behind Toni and Dallas, who now have to take a bus to the park. 

Ken and Tina, in second place, decide to Ride the Lines.  Toni and Dallas are not allowed to pick up their clue because they didn't take a cab.  At the park, Andrew and Dan receive their speed bump.  They have to dance with some a Russian troupe.   As you may remember, Dan is the worst dancer in the history of mankind. 

Nick and Starr find their next clue, but the Detour continues.  Ken and Tina re having a hell of a time with their buses.  They got on the wrong one and have to cab back to the start.  Dandrew finish their dance, receive the Detour clue.  Dallas and Toni are given enough money to take a cab back to the park. 

Nick and Starr get the final clue, and walk to yet another park, where they will find the next pit stop.  Nick and Starr are team number one.  They win a trip to the island of Anguila.  I don't know where that is. 

Ken and Tina are just in front of Andrew and Dan, both searching for that final park.  Dallas and Toni have to raise more money by begging.  A nice lady gives them some more money.  Ken and Tina/Dandrew have trouble finding the final clue box.  Wow, quite a turn of events.  Dan and Andrew are team number two.  Ken and Tina spot them, and follow them to the pit stop, though they haven't found the final clue box.  They reach the pit stop, but Phil tells them to go back and get that last clue.  This would be a devastating way to lose. 

Ken and Tina are still searching for the final clue, though I suspect this is a product of editing.  It looks like Dallas and Toni are creeping.  Ken and Tina find the final clue, finally.  They are team number three. 

Toni and Dallas have been eliminated.  For some weird reason, Phil and The Amazing Race doesn't even allow Dallas and Toni to finish the leg.  Dallas is devastated about losing the money and passports.  Thye have a teary farewell from the game.  Unfortunate turn of events for those two. 


-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)