Isaac gets a little payback, Stiles plays detective and Derek has an all-around terrible day.
If the first three episodes were all non-stop action and adventure, with last week taking place almost entirely over the course of one night, this week's episode slows down to start explaining some of season 3's mysterious new villains.
This episode is all about the exposition, with a few nice character moments thrown in for good measure.
Derek's Bad Day
First up for exposition duty is the alpha pack, who get into an altercation with Derek early on in the episode. In fact, Derek's whole story this episode can be summed up by the phrase "is impaled."
Derek's day starts out innocently enough. He goes to check on the English teacher, named Jennifer, who thinks he might be there to try to permanently shut her up. Instead, he's there to give her his best sexy eyebrows of concern.
The two have really cute chemistry and it would be a welcome surprise to see Derek actually lighten up once in awhile. At this point, Derek has about three settings: brooding, anger and push-ups. Happiness would be a delightful change of pace.
Next, it's time for some Hale family bonding, which surprisingly enough is more functional than Argent family bonding (no one gets stabbed!) but which unsurprisingly involves a lot of push-ups. Cora is angry that she came all the way to Beacon Hills to reconnect with her long lost brother only to get kidnapped and go on a rampage.
But Derek gets saved from dealing with more teen angst by the appearance of the alpha pack. Besides the twins, the alpha pack still manages to be so nondescript at this point that I have no idea what anyone's name is. So burly guy and Derek fight and then barefoot girl shoves a pipe through his stomach. Ouch!
While he's trapped there, it's the perfect opportunity for cartoon evil mastermind Deucalion (thanks for that name, Teen Wolf, I'll never be able to spell that without googling) to exposition-drop his entire evil plan.
This is so great, it's just like in those old Saturday morning cartoons when the villain would basically stop in for a cup of tea in order to explain his whole evil backstory to the hero. "Before we tussle Derek, I just want you to really understand my motivation here. Also, I'm going to scream now so you know I'm for real. Darn. I broke my cool shades again!"
Everything here is so over the top that when Deucalion, or Big D-Wolf as I shall now affectionately call him so I don't have to look up the spelling for his name, starts screaming about being a demon wolf it all somehow tracks completely with the scene. Apparently, one of the powers that comes along with being a demon wolf is the ability to chew scenery.
It turns out the alpha pack started because Big D-Wolf killed a beta wolf in his pack who challenged him after he lost his vision. Once he killed his pack member, he discovered he had absorbed the beta's powers. So obviously, he did the only logical thing and killed his whole pack, becoming the biggest, scariest, most screamy wolf around.
All the other alphas also killed off their packs to become the biggest, baddest mama jamas. Big D-Wolf wants Derek to kill off his pack and run with the alphas, because they are like the homicidal mean girls of the werewolf world. "So kill off Boyd and Isaac and remember Derek, on Wednesdays we wear pink."
Cora watches all of this, uselessly, from the sidelines. While there's nothing Cora can really do in this situation, watching her just stand there twiddling her thumbs is super awkward.
Now that Derek knows what the alpha pack wants, he decides to send Isaac away for his own protection. Instead of telling Isaac the score and risking him wanting to stay, Derek straight up Harry and the Hendersons Issac.
He yells at Isaac to leave and even throws a glass at Isaac's head. This not only mimics that Harry and the Hendersons scene in a kind of hilarious way for the two people who will get that reference, but it also reminds Isaac of his own traumatic upbringing with his abusive father. This more than sends him packing over to Scott's for a cuddle.
Pranking the Twins
Meanwhile, Scott spends most of the episode also trying to keep Isaac from getting killed. This is because early on, Isaac figures out that the twins in Beacon Hills are also the twins that combined to make one giant shirtless teen wolf of doom back in the premiere.
While Isaac is all about taking them down, the twins seem to be outsmarting him at every turn. One twin beats the other up so that it looks like Isaac started a fight. Someone really needs to tell Danny, my shining star, my little snowflake, that the boy he's crushing on is kind of homicidal and insane.
This lands Isaac in detention where Mr. Harris, the most intense teacher in Beacon Hills High, sends Isaac and Allison to restock supplies in a closet together. Isaac is not too fond of Allison, even though he didn't tell anyone about her appearance at the school in last week's episode
Allison is impressed by this, but Isaac is still holding on to some anger about getting stabbed about a million times. Allison, like, literally shrugs; it's so great how little she cares about stabbing people. "Oh, that. Sorry about trying to murder you. Stabbing is the number one way Argents deal with complex emotions."
The twins lock Allison and Isaac into the storage closet, which causes Isaac to freak out and flash back to his abusive past. It's nice to see the show revisiting Isaac's past, considering that abuse like that is definitely not something easily swept under the rug with a few superpowers.
Between nearly getting Allison killed and hitting on Lydia, Scott decides enough is enough with these twins. So how do you deal with two homicidal alphas? Prank time!
Allison hotwires their motorcycle, which leads to some sparks flying between her and Isaac. These kids and their crazy chemistry! Will Isaac and Allison be a thing in the future? I didn't see them coming, but their interactions really are fun. Of course, this could make staying at Scott's house a little awkward.
Isaac drives the motorcycle into the school, making it look like one of the twins did it and getting him suspended. Oh no! Not school trouble!
Allison, Isaac and Scott look on smugly in probably the funniest moment of the episode. The twins are powerless in the face of such a richly realized prank.
Later, the twins freak out on Isaac and Scott, doing their weird wonder twins combining thing. But just as things are looking dire, D-Wolf strolls into the school and forces the twins to leave with him. Because Beacon Hills High has no security and lets strange older men walk out with shirtless teenage boys all the time.
Detective Stiles On the Case
While all of this alpha backstory is dropping all over the place, Stiles is on the other case-o'-the-season. He's sure the virgin killings are human sacrifices and is freaking out that he could be next if he doesn't get some tender love and care of the sexual variety. Danny offers up his services, but then crushes Stiles' hopes when he admits he was only joking. That's pretty cold, Danny.
The episode opens with a high schooler named Kyle disappearing after a vet visit, and he shows up on campus having suffered the three-fold death. Isaac is sure it was the twins, but Stiles points out this all seems a lot more human than werewolf-y.
Stiles, however, is shocked to learn that Kyle wasn't a virgin, which sort of kills his prior theory. Instead, he begins to think that the killings go in threes and that the killer is now targeting those with little yappy dogs.
Lydia, the proud owner of a little yappy dog, basically just rolls her eyes and ignores Stiles as usual, although she does take note that the twins are alphas. She tells Stiles to leave it up to the human authorities, like his dad.
Instead, Stiles makes a beeline for the vet to ask about these sacrifices. They do a lot of talking about Druids and ancient mythology and how Druid means "wise oak" is Celtic. I have no idea if any of this is true or if Teen Wolf is just wholesale making things up. Maybe someone can enlighten me in the comments.
While Stiles is getting some vet exposition, Lydia is drawing in music class because she's obviously still suffering from time lapses. I'd really, really like to finally find out what's up with Lydia this season.
The music class runs out because the teacher is 15 minutes late, which I did not think was a thing you could do in high school. But these kids have exciting places to be like ... the locker room probably.
Lydia listens to a cell phone recording of the music teacher practicing piano, which turns super creepy when the piano stops and the chanting begins. You have to respect a serial killer who brings along their own theme song, though.
Stiles and the vet show up and they try to make the connection between the music teacher and Kyle the non-virgin. Turns out the connection is that they were both "warriors," having served in some way in the military.
The next casualty? Creepy, intense Mr. Harris, who was also in the military. Before he's killed, it's hinted he might have known something about the creepy serial killer since he protests that he's still needed. But the killer disagrees and gives him the three-fold death anyway.
Scattered across Mr. Harris' graded papers is the word "Darach," which the vet says means "dark oak." Looks like they've got a case of bad druids on their hands.
The Shirtlessness Count
Some solid shirtlessness this episode, although the slow-mo is certainly vying for another countdown. It's like someone in the Teen Wolf effects department is really into The Matrix.
Shirtless Count: Danny and Isaac get undressed in the locker room and make Coach feel bad about himself, while the twins slowly strip in the hallway to become a wolf transformer.
Best Pecks of the Episode: Sure, it's cool watching the twins turn into the wolf version of Optimus Prime. But I'm giving the best pectorals of the episode to Danny, my shining star, because we really haven't seen enough of him this season. (Though we se plenty of him this episode, if you know what I mean.)
What did you think of the episode? Will Allison and Isaac become an item? What is Derek going to do with the alphas? And who will the bad druids target next? Sound off in the comments!