'Survivor Philippines' Recap: A Battle of Good vs. Evil
'Survivor Philippines' Recap: A Battle of Good vs. Evil
Gina Pusateri
Gina Pusateri
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
This just in: the merged team has a new name and it's AWFUL. At least we were spared the decision making process by its members to call the tribe "Dangrayne." If that word has any meaning in any language, Google doesn't know about it, therefore it's just ugly and useless jibber-jabber as far as I'm concerned.

Back at DANG-rayne, or whatever, Jonathan wastes no time confronting the former members of his alliance. Jeff tells him it's nothing personal, that he's just trying to make the best decision for himself and Carter (which is half true, the other half being that he has an irrational will to get the former players out of the game). Denise echos Jeff's sentiment, only she really seems to feel bad about voting for Jonathan.

It doesn't matter, because while Jonathan's feathers are clearly ruffled, he is far from laying down dead. And excuse me for mixing my metaphors but this is Survivor, and as far as metaphors are concerned, anything goes.

Jeff realizes that he gave up a lot of power by deciding to move over to the former Tandang alliance. It's obvious that the voting order currently is Jonathan and then Michael, but he worries that it might be him and Carter after that unless he can manipulate himself into a better position, which he believes he can do.

Lisa knows that literally everyone else on the island, and possibly all of the islands that make up the Philippines, are better human beings than Abi, Artis and Pete, but she knows she has to stay with them in order to make it farther in the game. Although she says it would be noble to play the game with better people, she knows she has the best chance to win against those three trolls.

Reward Challenge

The tribe is split randomly into two teams and three members of each team have to swim out and attach a rope to a fish trap and the rest of the tribe pulls the swimmer and the trap back. After each team retrieves three fish traps, one member from each team has to dig up a key from the sand to unlock the puzzle pieces in the traps. The first team to put together cloth pieces in the right order and raise their banner wins.

The winning team will get a river cruise through the jungle and a bar-b-que. The yellow team is Jeff, Malcolm, Jonathan, Denise and Lisa and the blue team consists of Michael, Pete, Artis, Abi and Carter.

The yellow team gets off to a quick start until Lisa loses ground with her slow swimming, but Denise is able to make it all back up almost immediately. Michael struggles getting his rope clipped to the trap for the blue team, and since everyone on the blue team is terrible except for him (and Carter, who is simply a non-entity), they proceed to give him crap about it.

Artis and Malcolm dig hard to find the key and Artis finds it for the blue team so they start on their puzzle first but Malcolm and yellow aren't far behind. Jeff and Jonathan make short work of the puzzle for the yellow team and they win reward. Yay! Denise finally wins something and Abi finally loses! For just a small moment, all is right in the world of Survivor.

At loser camp, Pete tries to pull Abi aside and talk to her, she starts accusing him of turning on her. What happened to this girl pre-Survivor that made her so paranoid? Usually the longer the game goes on, the more distrust and paranoia you see in the contestants, but Abi has been wary, most of the time unjustly so, from the get-go. If she does win the million dollars (god forbid), maybe she should consider using some of it to seek professional help.

Meanwhile on the reward, everyone is getting along great. Malcolm acknowledges that there is a good vs. evil thing going on in their tribe, where, you guessed it, Abi, Artis and Pete are considered the evil and everyone else is good. Yep. That seems about right.

Before the immunity challenge, Lisa approaches Michael and tells him that she needs him to stick with her and the original Tandang to pick off the former Kalabaw and Matsing members. She also tells him that she knows about Malcolm's idol to gain his trust, and it seems to work. Right now, everyone pretty much agrees that Jonathan will be the next to go, no matter what.

Immunity Challenge

The challenge is for each of the survivors to go over and under a series of obstacles, untying knots to pick up bags of puzzle pieces along the way. The first three tribe members to finish first will compete to put together the puzzle and the first one to finish that wins immunity.

Everyone struggles untying the knots and getting through the course and Pete, Jeff and Jonathan (by a hair in front of Michael) make it to the final round. Jonathan is aware that he needs this immunity more than anyone else. Everyone on the bench is rooting against him as Jeff and Pete get off to a fast start on the puzzle and it looks like Jonathan is quickly falling out of it.

But wait! Don't call it a comeback, folks! Just like that, a light-bulb goes on in Jonathan's head and he pulls ahead of the former baseball player and the doofus to win immunity! It's a huge win and will certainly make for a more interesting pre-tribal scramble back at camp.

Jonathan is obviously extremely pleased with himself, winning individual immunity for the first time in this game. Everyone immediately agrees that the one to go tonight is Michael, who seemed to be next in the pecking order anyway.

But Lisa sees this as an opportunity to get rid of a stronger player. She tells Pete that Malcolm has the idol and they need to blindside him tonight. Pete is thrown off guard and asks Malcolm if he has the idol, and he denies it. Somehow, all of this interaction leads Pete to make the decision that it has to be Jeff tonight instead of Michael or Malcolm. Huh, what??? I'm still a little confused on how Malcolm may or may not having an idol changes the vote from Michael to Jeff, but okay, whatever Pete.

Jeff gets wind that his name is being tossed around and is having none of it. He and Malcolm agree that it would be better to just get rid of Pete. WAIT WHAT? Why is no one talking about Michael any more? CHAOS. That's why.

Tribal Council

R.C. arrives as the first member of the jury and Abi gives her a welcoming stink eye. Girl, you already voted her out, things are done, give it a freaking rest.

Right off the bat, Lisa admits to Jeff Probst that she was trying to get the rest of her tribe to vote off Malcolm tonight. In a bold move, Malcolm admits to having the idol, saying he wants to clear the air and that he plans on playing it tonight to remove the target from his back.

Then, innocently enough, Jeff Probst asks if anyone else has an idol that they want to share with the class. And Abi PULLS OUT HER IDOL to show everyone! What is she thinking? No one is making you do that honey. Just because Jeff asked in a smart-ass way, doesn't mean you have to spill the tea girl. I feel second-hand embarrassment for Abi's stupidity right now.

Before J.P. tells everyone it's time to vote, Jonathan makes a grand speech about how it's time for them to take control of the game and vote one of the evils out. Carter, Jeff, Malcolm and Denise all nod their heads in agreement which seems to indicate that they are voting Pete. Usually we don't have votes vocally decided right then and there ant tribal council like this, but hey, whatever works right?

Unfortunately things did not all go down as planned. It seems something was lost in translation for Jonathan at some point and he wounded up voting for Abi while Carter, Jeff, Malcolm and Denise all voted for Pete. And since Abi, Pete, Artis, Lisa and Michael all voted for Jeff, that was the majority and enough to send Jeff home. If Jonathan was in on the plan, it would have at least forced a tie and a re-vote.

So the bad news is that the Evils live to see another couple of days in the Philippines. But the good news is we don't have to hear any more of Jeff's grandiose speeches about how a veteran can't win the game. Hey, you win some and you lose some.

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(Image courtesy of CBS)

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