'Survivor Nicaragua' Merge Recap: It's OK to Lie, Cheat and Steal
'Survivor Nicaragua' Merge Recap: It's OK to Lie, Cheat and Steal
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
This week on Survivor: Nicaragua we get the Merge, some of the worst lying in the history of the world, and a decision that pits Alina and Marty against each other in a race to be voted out next week.

The Merge comes with a giant box of food, which NaoNka promptly steals and hides because she is upset and doesn't understand how to manage her anger. She eventually brings Alina in on her secret to try and sew up her jury vote.

This is where Survivor starts to frustrate me, because NaOnka is a terrible liar and a fairly terrible player. But she's a part of the indestructible Minority Alliance with Sash and Brenda, so her actions don't matter. Her lie and thievery is exposed, and even in her insincere apology she lies. NaOnka is loud and obnoxious, which wouldn't bother me except for the fact that she knows she's safe no matter how awful she is. It's just a free pass to be a jerk.

Immunity Challenge

The castaways must pull on two pieces to keep a metal rod from falling and breaking a tile. The last man and woman standing each get immunity.

Jane destroys the other ladies and, just to prove that she's one tough cookie, she sticks around after winning to compete against the men for fun. For the guys, Fabio is the winner, proving that this challenge was in no way, shape or form based on intelligence.

Tribal Council

Somehow the entire debate is between Marty and Alina, while Fabio is the only person screaming "What about that crazy chick who stole all our food?" Jane wants Marty out more than anything, which makes her a short-term ally with Alina, while NaOnka wants Alina out, as does Sash, who made a promise to Marty.

At Tribal Council, Marty tries turning everyone against Jane by declaring that she will definitely win and he will vote for her if she makes the finale, while Alina's approach is to call herself the ultimate pawn.

Dan, who decides to stir up some trouble for no reason other than to make me like him, brings up the fact that NaOnka stole food. She claims she gave it back and was punished for her crime by having no one talk to her. Fabio can't contain his disbelief that she's willing to lie so boldly when everyone knows she only told the truth because she got caught and there was no real silent treatment.

In the end, Sash keeps his promise for one week and Alina is voted out, though Marty is certainly target numero uno next week.

How is it possible that Fabio is the only person who understands what's happening? Right now the solid Minority Alliance has Chase, Jane and Purple Kelly in their back pockets, which is now a majority. Basically, they can get rid of whoever they damn well please, and there's not a single thing the rest can do about it, even if all five unite.

Unless a miracle happens, Marty, Dan, Benry, Fabio and then Holly can all count the days before they get voted out. I really hope a miracle happens, otherwise the next few weeks will be very boring.

(Image courtesy of CBS)