'Survivor Nicaragua' Finale: And the Winner is ...
'Survivor Nicaragua' Finale: And the Winner is ...
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
It's been a long season of Survivor: Nicaragua full of crazy Tribal Councils, quitters, food stealing, betrayals and Jimmy Johnson. Now it all comes down to a finale where five castaways try to outwit, outplay and outlast each other for one million dollars.

There's Chase, the good ol' Southern boy who has betrayed everyone who ever trusted him. There's Holly, the maternal old lady who keeps stumbling along. There's Dan, the completely weak pawn everyone has carried because they know beating him is easy. There's Sash, the manipulative mastermind of the season. And finally there's Fabio, the possible genius who has convinced everyone that he's a moronic dolt.

One of them will win, and I'm live blogging all three glorious hours of the Survivor: Nicaragua finale.

Now that Holly, Sash and Chase are in the open, conversations with Fabio and Dan become incredibly awkward.

Immunity Challenge #1: It's a puzzle, as always, and to add some extra drama, it' raining. Chase, Sash and Holly get off to a huge lead and all is lost, but Fabio runs back with his pieces and puts together the puzzle like a mad genius. Fabio wins immunity!

That makes two times in a row where he needed to win or he'd be voted out. Everyone needs to be scared right now, because Fabio is playing with the passion and desire of a winner.

Tribal Council #1: Fabio tries his best t turn Sash against Holly, which makes sense because there's absolutely no reason anyone should see Dan as a threat to win anything. Fabio is way more shrewd than anyone thinks, because his answers about why they should vote out Holly aren't just for the benefit of the other castaways, they're also designed to target the jury. However, it's all for naught. Dan is voted out.

In the end even Fabio votes out Dan, but Dan's final words are brilliant. He hates Chase, thinks Holly's hands should be cut off for stealing his shoes, and he thinks Sash is a little girl. The man is hilarious.

Three hours of Survivor on one night is too much, and they could really afford to cut that whole walk of remembrance where they spend time looking back at everyone who was voted out, especially since there's a reunion.

Immunity Challenge #2: The last challenge involves stacking coins on the end of a sword. It sounds so stupid, but Survivor manages to wring after last ounce of drama it can out of stacking coins. Holly is out first, followed by Chase. And then, Sash is done. Fabio wins immunity!

Wow, three in a row, and every time he needed it or he'd be voted out. Fabio is the MAN! 

The aftermath is also delicious, because Fabio knows the other three will turn on each other, so he enjoys sitting back and watching them freak out and implode. Fabio is a super crazy genius. Sash still lies about being Fabio's best friend while Chase, to his credit, admits that if Fabio didn't win immunity, he was going home.

Tribal Council #2: It's obvious that Jeff Probst, Fabio and the entire jury are all having the time of their lives, watching the three-person alliance implode. Holly is voted out!

It looks like the guys stuck together. In the season that started as Old vs. Young, the final three are all young guys.

The Final 3 vs. The Jury

Chase's Opening Statement: He just wants the jury to bring it on. It's a lame speech and highlights how clueless he really is.

Fabio's Opening Statement: He explains that he deserves to win for not backstabbing and for winning three immunity challenges. The main thing I notice is that Marty absolutely loves Fabio.

Sash's Opening Statement: He tries way too hard to sound like a Survivor mastermind, talking about outwitting and outplaying and alliances and all this other stuff that makes being a non-stop liar into a good thing.

Brenda: She wants to talk to Sash about how he made alliances with everyone and broke them all. Sash acts like he still genuinely cares about everyone. She also points out that Sash didn't use his idol to save her.

Marty: He wants Chase to tell him who the dumbest person is, and Chase refuses to answer because he thinks it's Marty. Man, he hates Chase.

Holly: She wants to know Chase's best individual strategic move and he says it was voting out Shannon. Fabio defends winning the last three not as too little, too late, but as the right move at the right time.

Jane: She wants Sash to crawl into a gutter because he's a New York rat. Chase says if he wins, $100,000 goes to curing cancer and the rest is for taking care of his mom. Suck up.

Benry: He wants nothing to do with Chase and praises Fabio.

Dan: He thinks Sash is a spineless phony and he hates his smile. He says Chase is the most paranoid player around and he's disgusted that he betrayed everyone. He adds that "Beauty fades, dumb is forever." Man, Chase's intelligence is getting a beating.

Purple Kelly: Sash tells her that he outwitted everyone by forming alliances, and she obviously is in love with Sash.

NaOnka: Fabio starts crying about the meeting with his mom, trying to earn some sympathy votes.

Alina: She admits she doesn't want to give the money to Fabio. Sash then throws Fabio and Chase under the bus.

My Final Thoughts: Chase is clearly thought of as a moron and has no chance. Everyone agrees that Sash is the strategic one, but people also love Fabio and the fact that he somehow made it to the end. Basically, the jury is with me, where Chase is an afterthought while Fabio and Sash both deserve it for different reasons.

The Votes: Marty and Dan vote for Fabio because they love him. Alina and Brenda somehow vote for Chase because they apparently love really dumb men.

Cut to the live reunion where Sash is in a three-piece suit and Fabio is looking damn good. The boy cleans up well.

FABIO WINS SURVIVOR: NICARAGUA!

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By a vote of 5-4, where Chase got the other four votes and nobody voted for Sash. I'm surprised Sash got nothing, but happy Fabio won.

This is so great because he really deserves it. He played a smart game by playing so stupid and he played herd when he needed to. He's now the youngest Survivor winner ever at just 21.

Discuss: Did Fabio deserve the million dollars?

THE LIVE REUNION

After Fabio wins, it's time for the reunion. Fabio says he's very perceptive of others but he comes from a family of artists. His relatives invented the color wheel and the folding table. He's definitely operating on a completely different level. He talks about using the money to travel the world and connect musical artists and possibly undermining the government. I think he wants to be the Julian Assange of the modeling world. Overall: Fabio is super crazy and awesome.

Sash reveals that he didn't give Brenda the immunity idol because what we didn't see was Brenda plotting with NaOnka to take out Sash. Damn, that would've made great TV. Jeff Probst also admits that he told Sash at the start that Sash would be the first person voted out.

Jeff also lets Chase sing to help launch his country music career. Yikes. WTF is happening? This is unpleasant.

Holly gives Dan a pair of ostrich boots to make up for ruining his shoes, which he didn't care about because he had 20 pairs of alligator shoes back home. Jeff Probst tries to find out how rich Dan is, but he won't answer.

NaOnka admits that she did act like a fool. She also reveals that some parents don't want her as a gym teacher for the kids, but she explains that it was just a game and she shouldn't be judged in her real life on her actions in the show. Jeff then gets NaOnka's mom to throw her daughter under the bus.

New Rule: Jeff reveals there's a new rule thanks to NaOnka and Purple Kelly. If someone quits, they aren't necessarily in the jury and the producers can take them out if they want. Good.

Fan Favorite: The votes are in, and the winner was Jane Bright by a total landslide.

Shannon tries to explain the comment about thinking Sash was gay, and even though it sounds like Shannon and Sash have buried the hatchet, Jeff doesn't let Shannon get his point across. It's clear Jeff doesn't like Shannon, at all.

Survivor Season 22: Redemption Island

The reunion ends with an announcement about the big changes for the next season of Survivor. On Redemption Island, the people who get voted out at first head to a special island where they stay around. When two people are there, they duel and the winner stays while the loser is eliminated. Then, at some point, the person on Redemption Island will get to come back to the game, which could be pretty awesome.

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