showmances are, quite simply, unreasonable. As fellow BuddyTV scribe Gina Scarpa and I briefly discussed last week, the pure logistics are mind-boggling. Take, for instance, that epic face-sucking session between Oz
zy and Amanda, witnessed by Cirie and a diusgusted Penner, that occurred late at night at the Favorites camp. This is not very hygienic. There are no toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouth wash. No one's taken a shower. They are doused in salt water. And, most disturbingly, they've been on an almost entirely fish diet. I don't want to hear anyone talking about how adorable the Survivor: Micronesia
showmances are anymore – you ever made out with anyone who just ate fish, hadn't taken a shower in a week and smelled like the ocean? Doesn't sound very appealing, does it?
Yesterday, I ranked the Fans and that was way more straightforward (and boring) than these Favorites are.
#8 – Eliza Orlins
I'm tempted to put Penner here, just because he made himself such a big target last episode, but you have to remember how adamant Ozzy was about getting Eliza out. He'll surely want to vote her off the next time they get a chance. No one really likes her and her alliance is gone.
#7 – Jonathan Penner
The thing is, if Penner had played nice with Cirie last episode instead of berating her, he may have been able to work up a sneak attack against the couples with her, Eliza and Ami. As it stands now, Penner's words have put him in a precarious position. He's said his piece, made it known that he is inflexible and I guarantee he'll be one of the next two castaways eliminated from the Favorites camp.
#6 – Ami Cusack
Not sure what to say about Ami. She's been quiet, has gotten along with everybody. I think she has to hope that one or both of the couples have a falling out that allows her to swoop in and join an all-female alliance.
#5 – Ozzy Lusth
Here's why: if it works out the way the Favorites want it to (and what seems most likely to me) is that the final five people standing on Survivor: Micronesia
will be Ozzy, Amanda, Cirie, James and Parvati. This is the scenario that I'm basing the rest of these rankings on. If that happens, think about it - Amanda seems far more attached to Ozzy that Parvati is to James, and for this reason both Cirie and Parvati are likely to join up with each other. They, along with James, will have no problem voting off Ozzy.
#4 - Amanda Kimmel
The Cirie/Parvati/James triumvirate will remain strong, especially since Amanda will be devastated by Ozzy's departure. Unless the three ladies decide to team up, which is certainly possible. Also, each of these final three will believe that they'll have a better shot in the final tribal council if Amanda isn't there – seeing as two consecutive final tribal appearances by her would be quite impressive.
#3 – Cirie Fields
Cirie's position of power has come from being the swing vote. In retrospect, it looks like a pretty good decision. She's definitely set up to make it to the final five with the two showmance couples. Until it's down to just them, Cirie has more than enough time to plot her next move, whether it's align with one couple or with both women. It's going to be difficult for her to break up both couples and, in the eyes of the jury, she's going to be viewed as something of a floater, so that's why she gets the #3 spot.
#2 – James Clement
Some BuddyTV readers took offense to the fact that I had James so high on my last power rankings. Well, now it makes sense. The couples have the power in the Favorites camp, thanks to Cirie's decision last episode, and one of the couples will almost certainly make it intact to the final three. James is always a threat to run the table in physical challenges but, in the end, I don't think the jury will view him as much of a strategist.
#1 – Parvati Shallow
Yeah, I'm as surprised as you are. I tried to find someone more deserving of this number one spot, but I have to give it to Parvati by default. The couples have the power now and Parvati is certainly the most flexible and willing to break or alter alliances of the four showmance castaways. I want to see Parvati, in true WWE fashion, tell everyone at the final tribal council that she has been playing James all along and it was just a smart move by her to get to the final vote. Although this would be cruel, how could you not vote for her if she admitted to such a long con?
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)