'Supernatural' Recap: The Five People Sam and Dean Meet in Heaven
'Supernatural' Recap: The Five People Sam and Dean Meet in Heaven
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
It's time for Sam and Dean to die.  Again.  Supernatural already killed off Sam at the end of season 2 and Dean at the end of season 3 (as well as multiple times in "Mystery Spot"), but they always managed to come back.  So why should "Dark Side of the Moon" be any different?

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The episode starts with a montage of all the times Sam and Dean have been killed, which is kind of hilarious because it lasts forever.  Then we go right into Sam and Dean being funned down by a pair of Hunters unhappy with the start of the Apocalypse.   Before going, Dean gets awesome and bad-ass, saying "When I come back, I'm gonna be pissed."  He dies, and thus begins this version of The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

Young Sam

After dying, Dean wakes up in the Impala listening to Bob Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door."  He gets out and finds the first person you meet in Heaven: Young Sam.  Dean relives a great memory of setting off fireworks, and his face lights up like the Fourth of July.

Dean remembers the gunshots and returns to the car, where Castiel comes in over the radio to tell him that he's in Heaven, a collection of great memories, but that he needs to follow the road to find an angel named Joshua in the Garden who talks to God.  Sadly the road is not paved in yellow bricks, but since this episode is called "Dark Side of the Moon," I wonder what happens when you play this episode, The Wizard of Oz and that Pink Floyd album all at once.

First Dean finds Sam, whose good memory is at another family's Thanksgiving.  This is a pattern for Sam's, whose memories in Heaven all circle around leaving his family, like the time he ran away from home and had a pet dog named Bones or the time he went off to Stanford.

Mary Winchester

Sam and Dean get transported to their old home where Dean is wearing an "I Wuv Hugs" shirt.  Mary walks in because this is a memory about what an awesome mom she was, cutting the crusts off Dean's peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Sam wants to move along, but Dean wants one more minute with mommy.  She gets a call from John and the two have a fight that Dean has to clean up.

They eventually leave and find themselves in the woods being chased by Zachariah.  It turns out running away from an angel in Heaven isn't a great strategy.  Zachariah wants to send them back to Earth because he needs them to say "Yes," but first he'll torture the ever-loving bejesus out of them.  Luckily, the boys are saved by a masked luchador who takes them into a shed after drawing an anti-angel symbol on it.


The masked man is none other than the mullet-loving Ash, who is living out his Heaven at the Roadhouse.  He's hilarious as always, discussing how he invented a Heaven police scanner and he now understands their siren language.  He describes Heaven as a collection of people's own fantasies, so it's like Disney World without the anti-Semitism.  Between that and the fact that the Hunters who killed Sam and Dean were named Walt and Roy, this is a very anti-Disney episode.

Ash spends his days visiting other people's Heavens, like Johnny Cash, Andre the Giant, Albert Einstein and the guy who wrote the Kama Sutra.  Now he'll help Sam and Dean find a shortcut to the Garden, but first, he has someone who wants to talk to them.

Pamela Barnes

The psychic returns, flirtatious as ever, with some words for Dean.  She raves about Heaven and tries to convince him that saying "Yes" to Michael isn't the worst possible thing, because even if a lot of people die, they'll go to Heaven, which rules.  It's a reasonable point.  Before the boys leave, Pamela also grabs a deep, passionate kiss from Dean, and it's everything she ever imagined.  You go, girl!

The boys wind up back at their old home where Mary is back, only this time she says that she never loved Dean.  This is a manipulation by Zachariah, who shows up angrier than ever.  He kisses the neck of the MILF and explains how he's the worst possible enemy because he's petty.  He hates what Sam and Dean have done to him, so he's going to make their lives miserable.  Kurt Fuller is in full villain mode, and it totally works for him.  The boys, however, are saved by the arrival of a mystery man.


The fifth person they meet in Heaven is Joshua, the angel in charge of the Garden.  He has a message from God: "Back off."  It turns out God is on Earth and he knows all about the Apocalypse, but he wants nothing to do with it.  He's already intervened by putting the boys on the plane at the start of the season, bringing Castiel back to life after Raphael blew him up, and granting Sam salvation so the murderous demon blood-drinker could get into Heaven.

God is done, he's out, so Joshua sends the boys back to Earth, only with their memories of Heaven fully intact.  Back on Earth, they call Castiel, who is really upset by this development.  He curses out God and gives Dean back his magic God-finding amulet.  While Sam thinks there's still hope, Dean doesn't, so the final scene is him throwing his amulet necklace, the one Sam gave him for Christmas, in the trash.

Damn it Supernatural, stop depressing me with these endings.  We seriously need a big win and soon.

(Image courtesy of the CW)