Previously on Smallville: Lana (or fake Lana) returned from the dead.  Lex became obsessed with Clark's super-cousin, Kara.  Clark found a blue crystal with his birth mother, Lara's, DNA.

How can anyone keep all these names straight?  Lana, Lara, Kara, does Smallville takes place in an alternate dimension with only a 10-letter alphabet.  Anyway, tonight's episode of Smallville sees Clark reunite with his mom and uncle.  Those suitcases must have been packed tight, because the Els brought all their family baggage with them from Krypton.

Clark (Tom Welling) is staring into a fire, forlorn about his mom.  Kara (Laura Vandervoort)arrives with a surfboard, fresh from shredding some waves with Jimmy.  She promises to tell him all about his mom in the morning, but Clark is hearing voices , which lead him to the blue crystal in the barn, calling him to the Fortress of Solitude.  He gets to the Fortress and, against warnings from the voice of his uncle, rams the crystal into the motherboard, and the world's crappiest light show reveals Lara (Helen Slater), who is happy to see her beautiful boy has turned into a man.  As they embrace, another shadowy figure is watching.

Clark brings her back to the Kent farm.  After meeting her niece, Kara is upset because she knows Lara came from her blue crystal, and Clark never told her he had it.  Apparently the crystal technology was invented by Zor-El, Kara's dad, who is a bad man and must be close behind.  Later at the barn, Zor-El swoops in to see his daughter.  She's not so happy, on account of his trying to kill his brother (Clark's dad).  He wants to be a real father to her, and she is far too optimistic, thinking maybe he really has changed.  Afterwards, Zor-El, pays a visit it Jor-El's vessel, aka Lionel Luthor (John Glover) and threatens Lionel with harm unless he tells Clark to trust him.  That plan fails when Clark zooms in to deliver a super punch that knocks Zor-El out the window.

Lionel tells Clark he's after Lara, so he protects her by taking her to stay with Lana (Kristin Kreuk).  He leaves to meet up with Kara, but not before his mother gives him his father's ring.  When he leaves, Zor-El pays him a visit and talks about restarting the El lineage.  Clark tries to fight back, but gets his ass handed to him.  The blue ring from his father stripped him of his powers, which Lara was unaware of.  But Zor-El knew it, so he was the one who faked Lara's voice to get Clark to unlock his mom, who Zor-El knew would give him the ring so that he could control Clark.  It's very complicated to explain, especially since I'm a Smallville novice.

Back in the loft, Lara is aware of the darkness within Lana.  Zor-El shows up to take Lara to the Fortress.  Lana tries to stop him, and gets swatted across the room for her troubles.  At the Fortress, Zor-El wants to get busy with Lara to repopulate the Earth with Els.  Kara objects, but Lara agrees so long as he leaves Clark alone.  Zor-El mixes up some crystals in order to eradicate the humans.  Only Clark can remove the crystals.

Clark shows up to the Daily Planet to get some Chloe comfort.  They head back to the farm and he fails to saw the ring off.  Outside, an eclipse is blotting out the sun, courtesy of Zor-El.  In the Fortress, Lara unsheathes a crystal dagger, and her and Kara debate who gets the honor of stabbing Zor-El.   Kara tries, but her dad stops her as she defends the worthiness of humans.  Zor-El is choking the crap out of his daughter when Clark arrives with some handy green kryptonite.  The best part of the blue stuff: Clark doesn't have to worry about the green stuff affecting him  That's a pretty clever solution. 

To stop the eclipse, Clark has to pull out and destroy the blue crystal, but if he does his mother goes away.  He does, and when the crappy light show ends, his whole family is gone.  It seems Kara was somehow transported to Detroit.  More confusing is that she has no idea who she is.  Amnesia: the lazy writer's plot device (see: 24 season 1 and Heroes season 2).  Back at the Kent barn, Lana is trying to buck up Clark's spirits over Kara and Lara being gone.

In non El family news: At the Daily Planet, Grant is complaining about Lois' photographic skills, then they kiss and she wonders if her being hired was simply because he has the hots for her.  Chloe comes a-knockin', and walks in despite the fact that the office is a-rockin'.  She does not like what she sees.  Chloe chats with Lois about how disappointed she is that Lois is sleeping with her editor.  Their dialogue is full of really weird metaphors that are trying hard to sound like film noir, but come across as an awkward, pale imitation.

Elsewhere, Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) and Grant are playing some pool, talking about all the women they're doing.  Grant denies dating Lois, but Lex is onto him, ordering Grant to stay away from Lois, because her curiosity will lead her to their underhanded business together.  Grant tries to break up with Lois, but she does it first.  They talk about how bad of an idea it is for them to stay together.  This, of course, leads to them making out.

Grant goes to tell Lex that he broke up with Lois, then he drops all the spy cameras Lex had monitoring Grant.  Then we get the big twist: Grant is Lex's brother, Lionel's son!  Lex doesn't want him telling anyone because Lionel abandoned him and would do anything to keep his secret, including killing his abandoned son.  His name is Julian Luthor.

In the Fortress, Clark is yelling at his dad, who says "This defiance cannot go without consequence."  Then there's a blinding light.

Smallville is taking a month off, but returns on December 13 for a holiday-themed episode that includes Chloe and Jimmy trapped in an elevator…with a bomb!  At least it's not a pregnant woman.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)