Where are Jimmy and Chloe? They were kidnapped by a cross between Jigsaw from the Saw movies and Chuck Woolery. The villain (named Macy) has designed a diabolical relationship test. He hooks up the couple to lie detectors, and if they lie, their partner gets electrocuted. It’s some twisted way to ensure that they really belong together. Jimmy lies about cheating on Chloe (he ignores Maxima), causing her to get a jolt of electricity. The psycho asks Chloe if she’s in love with anyone else, and when she says no, he learns she’s telling the truth. The happy couple is free to go.

Lois is convinced her ruse didn’t work when the ring salesman shoots her with a tranquilizer. Clark, after learning Jimmy and Chloe are safely back home, goes after Lois’ captor. Lucky for the crazy man, he’s wearing a Kryptonite bracelet, giving him the chance to knock out Clark and tie him up for the love questionnaire. He asks Lois is she’s ever cheated on her fiancé, and when she says no, Clark gets shocked. As a fan of logic, that’s technically wrong, since he’s not really her fiancé, so the question was totally meaningless.

Next he asks if Lois truly loves Clark, and after stalling, she says she does, which is the truth! The nutjob turns his attention to Clark, inquiring whether he loves her. Clark lulls him in too close so he can knock him out, swipe the bracelet and throw it down the drain so Clark can create a diversion and save the day.

The next day, Oliver wakes up in Tess’ bed, fulfilling Justin Hartley’s contractual requirement of appearing shirtless in every episode. He wants to spend the day doing romantic things, but Tess is cold, dropping him like a bad habit because she refuses to let herself get too close to him again. On the one hand, “You go, girl!” On the other, “Have you seen his body? You’re crazy, girl!”

Jimmy, freaked out by their evening, wants to confess a secret to Chloe: his dad isn’t really an investment banker, he’s a drunk mechanic. Since Chloe has healing powers, a computer brain and an alien best friend, she’s quick to forgive this relatively minor secret.

Finally, Lois and Clark are awkward until he suggests that she cheated the lie detector, which gives her an easy excuse to bury her true feelings of love for Clark. The sad thing is that rather than being generous and giving her a way out, Clark genuinely believed she tricked the machine. When it comes to matters of the heart, Clark is the dumbest man alive.

<<PREVIOUS   (1)   (2)

-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)