'America's Got Talent' Recap: Howard Calls Howie Out
'America's Got Talent' Recap: Howard Calls Howie Out
The second show of the season seven quarterfinals has begun. I guess I'm excited? I'm not going to over-exert myself; we've got a long road ahead of us. Nick's shirt and tie combo make me nervous. Howie warns tonight's acts that if they don't "step it up" and "give it their all" they could be going home. Yeah, that's how reality TV works!

LionDanceMe is a dance/danger act that may not be able to step up their game and give it their all. They keep falling off those poles and hurting themselves! We've never seen the act in its entirety, so they have that going for them, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's really just them jumping around on those poles. It's cool, but it lost some energy for me along the way. I wasn't entirely sure what my incentive to keep watching might be. "I know it's LionDanceMe, but who cares?" Howard summed up.

We've been anticipating Turf's audition for a while now. He had quite the time in Las Vegas, but now we get less drama and more dancing. I think he'll do well, just for pathos's sake. This is sort of a weird context for him. He's on this huge stage, doing his street dancing act. It's cool, but it doesn't feel big enough for a million dollar Vegas act. It's kind of scary, to be an old lady about it. "One guy with nothing except your background music ... it takes guts, it takes talent," Sharon says, side-stepping the issue. Howie likes the passion, and notes that Turf wants it more than anyone else. But ... is it an act? Howard will tell us. Howard warns Turf that he is up against some stiff competition, but something tells me this isn't the last we've seen of him.

I have not been a big fan of The All Ways up to this point. It's a bunch of dudes in a band. They don't consider themselves pop, but they keep singing pop songs. Tonight they take on Lady Gaga's "Telephone," which is a terrible choice. Lady Gaga songs are dance hits, not really great for singing. I don't care for this guy's screaming, and I'm not sure he can hit a note if he's not screaming. So, basically, I'm just really crabby tonight! I must be, because I am not liking any of this so far. Howie likes them as a rock band and doesn't think they should sing so many pop songs. Howard didn't think it was great and didn't want to be up there with them, and Sharon likes their enthusiasm ... Someone had better turn this thing around soon.

Alright, magicians! Howard wants this to work. He wants it so badly. Hawley Magic was advised "not to do this trick" by the Magician's Guild or whatever. Hopefully they won't get booed like last week's magic act. He balances his lady atop the point of a sword, spins her around, then she goes through the sword. He resurrects her, there's no blood, and they dramatically look toward the camera. It was OK. Howard called it old school, and is really turning this show into his bitch. Sharon also thought it was a bit too dramatic and cheesy. Howie also desired an update.

"It's definitely a party in here," Nick Cannon assures us. How did the Lisa Clark Dancers make it through here? Oh well. This time they're trying a sort of Bollywood number? But the music is jazzy? So I don't know what this is. They are great dancers, but I'm not convinced people will be talking about this the next day. Howie even gave it an X, which I thought was a bit rude, given that it was better than most of the other stuff so far. "I think you're tremendous dancers but this feels like a young persons' recital," Howie admitted. I am inclined to agree. Sharon thought the dance was too cute. Howard stuck up for them, but that and their attitude that "America loved it" may not be enough to save them.

I have been so excited to see Aurora Light Painters again. They have a great act, and they are just darling. The concept this time is "monsters under the bed," and they have moving parts this time. They told a story with lightpaint! I loved it, but the audience booed them, and Howard buzzed them. Howie thinks it has peaked, and it's not ready for the show. Howard thinks there's something there, but the story wasn't clear. I disagree, I liked it. Sharon thought the vision wasn't sophisticated enough yet. Whatever, guys! Nick Cannon earned his stripes hosting in this segment. I liked when he said, "It's the same monster, man!"

We haven't seen much of Danielle Stallings yet, but from her Vegas clips we can tell she's good. She seems nice enough, and quite darling, but it could all come down to song choice. I think this is a Mary J Blige song she chose to sing? She has a good voice, but I'm not sure it's good enough to move forward. I guess I'm still also upset that the judges keep trying to pimp out Turf's performance as "a moment." Howard tells Danielle he thought she was incredible, Sharon said her voice does not stop, and Howie promoted his Twitter.

I have been looking forward to Donovan & Rebecca all night. THIS is what it's about! It's dangerous, it's talent, and it's beautiful. She starts out on aerial silks, and he grabs onto her foot and hitches a ride around the stage. Now Donovan's in the silks, then they are both in the silks. You just have to see it, I guess. He is suspended just by his legs in the silks, and holding onto just her hands, then just her foot. Oh my god WHAT! That was a moment, judges, none of this crap before.

Oh god, we knew this day would come. I just didn't think it would come so soon. Big Barry is performing. It's so awful. It's not even funny! This time they're putting him in a diamond studded tuxedo with a live band. Howard buzzes him right away, just a few bars into "Feelin' Good." Sharon buzzes him, then some "hot chicks" walk by and cozy up to Barry. This performance wasn't bad enough to be bad-good, and not good enough to be worth watching. A disaster. Shut up, Howie.

"The Howie filibuster is getting annoying to me," Howard admits, and says this is not funny and this is all about Howie, and Howie owes all the talented acts an apology. I'm inclined to agree. Thank you for saying something, Howard! Still, that was a bit awkward with Big Barry on the stage just watching. Howard even stepped to Howie once the microphones were off! That's some good drama.

"I take the job seriously," Howard says, after the break, and Howie claims he does, too. Nick Cannon segued nicely, making me think that Howard could be right in predicting an Emmy nod.

The climate is awkward, so maybe it will be just right for comedian Tom Cotter to step into. His material takes on the English language, this time, and it's not exactly hilarious or new, in my opinion. I guess it's a family show, though. Howard called Tom "the man to beat," and Sharon noted Tom's impeccable timing. He does have good timing. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood.

Ben Blaque, crossbow expert, is ready to shoot his sexy lady again. He tells us in the clip package that he doesn't have all the bugs worked out of tonight's act yet. He shoots a big balloon from far away, then pumps the crossbow, and shoots the flower off a rose in his lady's teeth. Then he stacked four crossbows on top of each other, to shoot four big balloons surrounding his assistant. He shot them all, and the last one hissed to a slow death. Do I like this act? I don't know. "It's fun to do," his assistant lied.

Joe Cocker sound-alike and all around cool guy, Tim Hockenberry, is the singer who could win this whole thing. He chose to sing "Part of Me" by Katy Perry, and it actually worked really well. I didn't like that song before, but if anyone could make this song worth listening to it's Tim Hockenberry. Howie lauded him the possible winner of this season, Sharon thought it was great, and Howard thought it wasn't his best. I'm with Howard all the way. He's honest.

Team Howie or Team Howard?

(images courtesy of NBC)

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