As I covered extensively last night
, nothing new really came to light on the Bachelorette: The Men Tell All
special, unless you count the shocking
revelation that even after months
of sober reflection and hours of watching themselves say many terrible things on television, Kalon and Ryan haven't grown at all.
But, true to form, some of the most interesting -- and nauseating! -- moments from the Men Tell All
didn't even make it to air. Here's what we missed from not being in that gasping, clapping and booing in-studio audience:Call Me Never
You might be surprised to remember that Emily once had a tall, silent ponytailed suitor named Michael, who was a singer ... of sorts. Apparently he graced the men and audience with a special ("horrid") tune at the MTA
, set to that incessant song of summer: Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe." Some of the "below-average" lyrics, according to the L.A. Times
: "My name's Dougie / I got big muscles / And when I kiss you / I'm awkward-humble."
I can't imagine why that didn't make it to air.Kalon was Even Worse Than You Thought
How is that even possible? Well, for one, ABC cut off his full quote about why we're
at fault for his "baggage" comment blow-up. Kalon didn't just say "Americans likes things sugar-coated." He said "Americans like things sugar-coated ... that's why they're all diabetic
You might think that Kalon would eventually figure out that his "jokes" are both offensive and unfunny, and stop telling them ... but that would be giving him much too much credit.
The "Baggage" Comment Remained Unsolved
From the Hollywood Reporter
: "Kalon told Chris Harrison that there were several men present when he made the comment, and it was part of a bigger discussion. However, none of the other guys who were part of that chat seemed to want to speak up.
"I will give someone a million dollars if they can tell me what happened," Harrison told the group."
Evidently, the conversation wrapped with John "Wolf" finally saying that Kalon's comment was "locker room talk" that "crossed the line," but that it happened "very late at night, and it was alcohol induced."
Then how do you explain what he said every other
day?Bitter Charlie Bites Back
: "Charlie complained about being sent home before Kalon and demanded an explanation. Emily told him she didn't appreciate that he made fun of her all the time and he justified his actions, saying he was "trying to lighten the mood" and said he was just a big kid." To which Emily apparently snapped back, "I already have a kid," and then confronted him about talking smack in interviews
. They'd met years earlier through mutual friends, and Charlie claimed that Emily was "a different person" since appearing on TV. Her response: "Thank god I'm not the same person. That was five years ago."
Ryan's Actual One and Only Regret
"Wearing that white tank top
."Chris Harrison and Emily Joked about Their Tabloid "Relationship"
"I would hate for people to think I have ever, ever been on a vacation with Vienna," Harrison told the audience
. (Count 'em: Original Harrison Burns on Vienna AND Jake in one episode. I love him more and more each day.) Then, when the taping was over, they closed with another joke: "And the love of my life, Emily," Harrison joked. "We're so happy," added Emily.
Emily Got Some Flack for Using the Same Lines on All the Men
From the Hollywood Reporter: "When Chris was in the hot seat, a couple of the other contestants pointed out that they felt Emily was telling all the guys the same thing. Charlie was the first to point this out, and added that he felt Sean should have won. Stevie agreed that Emily said the same things to everyone."
Emily and Jef Did have an On-Air Conversation about His Mormon Background
The Bachelorette told the L.A. Times
that she did have the big religion talk with Jef, but it just didn't make it to air: "Faith is a huge part of my life, and there's no way I could fall in love and potentially get engaged without having that conversation. He was very open and honest about everything."(Image courtesy of ABC)