This week, the ladies of Rock of Love Charm School were taught to appreciate the best cigars, whiskeys and tequilas. If you think this makes them prime candidate to join Pam Beasley's Finer Things Club, you're sadly mistaken. The girls took this as an opportunity to get drunk, unaware that you can enjoy tequila in forms other than shots.

To decide teams for this episode's challenge, the girls were paired based on the Blood Alcohol Contents. Handsome Officer Rick showed up to administer the Breathalyzer, and as Lacey said, “Nobody gave Heather $20 dollars, I don't see why she's gonna blow this thing.” She then laughed for about 15 minutes about the hilarious joke she just made, and while that was annoying, I can't stay mad at her because that joke was hilarious.

Unfortunately, the two drunkest girls are arch-rivals Lacey and Dallas, pairing them up. Their war escalates with Lacey trying her best to antagonize Dallas by getting up in her face. Dallas' response is to ignore her and do nothing, and while that might be the high ride, she also uses this approach during the challenge, where doing nothing is not a good idea.

Broken up into pairs, the ladies of Charm School are tasked with creating a PSA to promote awareness for the dangers of alcohol.

Kristy Joe and Heather
Their assignment is to warn against the dangers to unborn babies. Kristy Joe instantly comes up with the greatest idea ever: a parody of Britney Spears being stalked by TMZ while she's drunk, carrying around Sean Preston. Given the recent release of one of Britney's children from the hospital, this skit is tinged with tragedy, but that makes it even funnier. Heather dresses like Britney and drunkenly swerves around the pool before falling in, leaving fake Sean Preston to drown.

Destiney and Jessica
They must warn about the dangers to your body, so they decide to have Destiney the actress give a speech about how alcohol causes breast cancer and strokes while hooked up to an IV. It ends with Destiney dying, and breast cancer hasn't been this funny since Eric Cartman mocked it on South Park a few weeks ago.

Brandi C. and Brandi M.
In the most perfect assignment for two ex-porn stars, they must show the dangers of mixing alcohol with sex. The producers provide them with blow-up dolls and condoms, which means they were totally asking for what happened next. Their PSA consisted of Brandi M. Having sex with a blow-up doll, making it smack her ass and performing fellatio on it without a condom. Seriously, Brandi M. Performed oral sex on a blow-up doll, and they thought this would be a great public service announcement.

Dallas and Lacey
They get the drunk driving PSA, but Dallas spends half their time sulking in the corner. Lacey writes up a script, and with about five minutes left, Dallas just starts reading from a piece of paper on camera. It's absolutely pathetic.

Rock of Love Charm School Elimination Time! Obviously, the hilarious Britney spoof wins the competition for Kristy Joe and Heather. Team Brandi is called down and admonished for their total lack of taste and decorum, but they're safe because while you could never air their PSA, it was very creative and funny. That leaves Lacey and Dallas to take turns throwing each other under the bus to avoid expulsion. Ultimately, Dallas' total lack of effort loses and she's sent home.

Next week on Rock of Love Charm School: The ladies meet a team of unstylists to make them ugly before they go on a series of dates. Also, Brandi C. Pulls a Pumkin and spits on another girl. I'm hoping that storyline ends with an STD test.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)