In the pantheon of bad ideas, having the girls from Rock of Love Charm School meet a member of the British royal family has to be near the top. Thankfully, VH1 knew this, and tonight's episode of Rock of Love Charm School includes a bit of a practical joke by Sharon Osbourne. The title is false, and the woman who played the Duchess of Birmingshire was actually an actress named Patricia Place, who sadly passed away after filming back in September. A brief look at her credits on IMDB show her to be a rather prolific actress, guest starring on such brilliant shows as Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and How I Met Your Mother.

But putting that aside, she certainly did her best to make the Rock of Love girls look like fools as they learned etiquette and manners to meet a "real" duchess. The remaining nine girls were divided into three teams and asked to entertain the duchess while following specific rules. It wasn't easy because, as Brandi C. said, "I don't know how to entertain people who aren't men between the ages of 18 and 36." At least we now know she has some standards.

The ladies are taught how to sit with their legs crossed and how to eat soup before being given a list of rules for dealing with the duchess. Those rules include addressing her by her full name, eating at her pace, never turning your back on her, not showing cleavage, and not serving the duchess alcohol under any circumstances. Entertaining a duchess is even harder than taking care of a mogwai.

Things get off to an awful start when most of the girls mess of the duchesses full name, which is "Your Royal Highness, the Duchess of Birmingshire, Page Irving Crow Harrington." Also, Inna is showing off quite a bit of skin, which offends the duchess.


Appetizers with Inna, Lacey and Brandi C.
Once again, Inna screws up by agreeing to get the duchess some wine, but the other girls get her to stop. The duchess is a little bit of a bitch, because she criticizes Brandi C.'s pink hair throughout most of the evening.

Dinner with Jessica, Brandi M. and Kristy Joe
Once again the duchess asks for some wine, but Brandi M. wisely says there's none in the house. Jessica is very good at getting the full name in, and the night gets awkward when all the girls wait for the duchess to eat her soup one slow sip at a time. Brandi M. loses her goodwill by stumbling over the duchess' name for about half an hour before the duchess finally orders her to switch places with Jessica. Sadly, Jessica proceeds to tell the duchess a really bad joke.

Dessert and Tea with Dallas, Heather and Destiney
Dallas is on her best behavior, complimenting the duchess on her hat. Heather makes a mess of things by pouring tea all over the table. The duchess loves spotted dick (the British dessert), and the girls do everything in their power not to laugh. Destiney and Heather naturally think the duchess' love for spotted dick means they have something in common. The duchess takes a look around, and Sharon cackles as the three constantly move to make sure their backs are never turned to the duchess.


The spotted dick team wins, and later Sharon asks the two losing teams to pick one person to go up for elimination. Showing a surprisingly wealth of self-awareness, Inna and Brandi M. volunteer to go up. Sadly, Brandi M. has second thoughts because she thinks she would definitely go home, so she cons Jessica into going up in her place.

Rock of Love Charm School Elimination Time! Shocking everyone, Kristy Joe says she's the one going up for elimination, but Jessica stops her and demands she go up instead like they agreed. Sharon calls Brandi M. down anyway as the third person up for elimination, alongside Jessica and Inna. In the end, Inna is expelled for her cleavage.

The show ends with a classy tribute to Patricia Place.

Next week on Rock of Love Charm School: The girls learn to appreciate alcohol and cigars. They're also tasked with making a PSA about the dangers of alcohol using condoms and blow-up dolls. I guess the classiness of meeting fake royalty was an anomaly.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)