And now is the time we've all been waiting for: the exes in a room together with Amber and Heather, which Bret has decided to call: "Wassa Going on Court." Of course, Bret and Big John are in a separate room watching the court proceedings.The first couple to face the "Honorable Judges Heather and Amber" are Jamie and her friend Hamboussi. Jamie says she feels like she is walking to death row and the electric chair, which makes us wonder if there's a little more to the "we're only friends" story. Hamboussi straight calls Jamie out as a groupie, which for some reason does not sit well with Heather, the biggest Bret groupie of them all. But there may be some truth to Hamboussi's accusation, when Heather asks Jamie if she'd date Bret even if he wasn't a musician, Jamie can't muster an answer.

The next couple in the courtroom are Jaz and Taya, Taya is nervous as hell and if we had such a psychopath for an ex we might be too. Taya tells Amber and Heather that she's 29 (right, and I'm 15) and that she is a burlesque dancer. Heather calls Taya out and says what we've all been thinking: so you're a stripper? Taya says "the word stripper does not apply to me," which Heather takes issue with. That's when Mr. Aggro himself Jaz goes absolutely ape-shit on Heather and Amber, talking all kinds of trash about their extensions and plastic surgery. While 99% of his comments were bleeped out by censors, I can 100% see why Taya broke up with the guy -- he is a maniac.

Here comes Royal T. and Brittanya, brace yourselves because something crazy is going to go down. Brittanya says that she's not nervous about the interrogation, to which omnipresent Bret says "lies make baby Jesus cry." For once, one of Bret's one-liners actually makes me laugh out loud. Royal T. gets right down to business and says that when he and Brittanya see each other, "we f*ck." This statement gets Brittanya heated, but at Heather and Amber instead of her loud-mouthed ex. When Heather calls Brittanya out for still sleeping with her booty call, Brittanya gets up in her face and throw a punch at Heather, which Heather expertly blocks. At this point, Bret sends in Big John to break up the fight, but he doesn't get there in time to stop Brittanya from spitting at Heather and Amber, classy. Heather is confident that Brittanya just sealed her fate and Bret seems pretty convinced himself. He says while he realized on the first date that Brittanya wasn't someone he'd bring home to grandma, he is now realizing "Brittanya may be a girl you just can't take anywhere."

The single and sad Beverly is up next and she says she wants her ex to be grilled like everyone else is being grilled. This statement confuses both me and Bret, why oh why would you want your ex husband to show up and spill all the reasons he divorced you and got full custody of your kids? Beverly is still emotional during her court date and Amber wonders if Beverly is strong enough to date Bret, especially when he's on the road. While it's not as explosive as Brittanya's court appearance, Bret thinks he better understands Beverly and her behavior after watching her talk with Amber and Heather. Next up is Mindy and her ex Chris. While I am worried Mindy will be destroyed by rumors of infidelity, the court meeting actually goes great. Mindy says that Chris has seen her at her absolute worst and that she couldn't love Chris because she didn't love herself. Amber and Heather love Mindy and her honest answers--and hopefully the fact neither she or her ex tried to assault them.

Last but not least are Ashley and her baby-daddy and roommate, James. Ashley says she's nervous because she knows James still loves her, but I bet there's more to that story. Ashley says she loves James, because he is the father of her son, but that's it. She says the sleep in separate rooms, to which James coyly smiles. He tells Amber and Heather that he and Ashley are still more than friends and that they "f*ck all the time." (To which Ashley says: "I am f*cked.") James says that he would be disgusted if Ashley ends up with Bret, but that's he's not worried at all about that because "no one can pull my bitch." Charming. When asked why James came to support Ashley in finding love with Bret, James says he came not to support Ashley, but to bring her home. Both Bret and Ashley look like they may faint thanks to this revelation.

With court adjourned, Bret talks to his trusted judges about their opinions. Heather and Amber like Jamie, but wonder if she is there for Bret or because she is a groupie. They think that Taya was honest, poised, and really has her stuff together. When it comes to Beverly, Heather and Amber are surprisingly honest and understanding, they say she obviously has some issues and may be living her 20's now, but that she's ultimately there for the right reasons. As for Brittanya, Heather says "well she's hot," which is super nice seeing that Brittanya tried to punch and spit on her. Amber isn't quite as kind, saying she "has nothing nice to say about Brittanya." The girls do have plenty of nice things to say about Mindy, who is both Heather and Amber's hand downs favorite. They say they "love her! love her!" and that they hope Bret picks her. Lastly, when it comes to Ashley they tell Bret the honest and hard truth: there is definitely still something going on with her and her ex. A truth that Bret is slowly, surely, and sadly realizing. Instead of illuminating Bret about his decisions, the interrogations have left Bret very confused.

Now it's time for elimination, and it could really be just about anyone. There are at least three strong candidates for elimination tonight: Brittanya the spitting wonder, Ashely who still lives with and loves her ex, and Beverly who has some pretty obvious emotional issues and baggage. Bret walks into the elimination looking very somber, he tells the girls that he learned a lot about them and that a lot of it was very painful to learn. Everyone seems really nervous about elimination, especially Ashley who admits this is the first elimination she's really worried about. The first person Bret calls is Mindy, obviously. Bret says he picked Mindy because she stood up to the tough questions and was honest about everything. The closer we get to the finals, the more I think Mindy really could be Bret's Rock of Love. The 2nd girl called is Jamie, who is super shocked she's called. Bret says in a voice over that "all minor offenders should be glad, because they are getting off easy tonight." Next up is Taya who, as always, is overly dramatic and sobs that she'll be there for Bret until "it's just you and me, I promise." Gag.

Just as expected, the bottom three are Beverly, Brittanya, and Ashley. Ashley is shocked that she and Brittanya, the hottest girls left, are in the bottom three with Beverly--but she's the only one. Bret calls Beverly first and asks if she can let go of the baggage and move forward. Beverly eagerly says yes. Brittanya and Ashley are left standing, Bret calls Brittanya down. He says thanks to the spitting on his friends, that Brittanya's tour ends here. For the first time all season, Brittanya gets genuinely emotional and she cries to Bret that he hopes he finds love, because he deserves it. If Brittanya had shown such genuine emotion at any other point all season, there's no doubt in my mind Bret would have fallen head over heels for Brittanya, but tonight its too little too late.

That leaves Ashley and Bret standing there and Ashley is already crying. Bret calls Ashley to him, he tearfully tells her that he learned a lot about her and he may be a sucker, but that he has "a pass in my hand and all I want to know is are you ready to fall in love?" While I expect Ashley to throw her arms around Bret and say of course, she just stands there silently and stares at her stripper heels." Though he looks like he was just punched in the gut, Bret tells Ashley that's what he thought and that her tour ends here.

A double elimination, with the favorite to take it all going home! Crazy. Tonight's elimination leaves us with the final four: Mindy, Taya, Jamie, and Beverly -- and not a blonde in sight. Perhaps, with no peroxide to distract him as it has in previous seasons, Bret will finally find a Rock of Love.

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--Abbey Simmons, BuddyTV Staff Writer
 

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