Hey there, Revengers: can you believe we're already on season 3 and Emily Thorne hasn't drop-kicked at least one of the Graysons? Maybe this week's premiere will be the lucky night where she finally just gives Victoria a black eye, though I highly doubt it.
We're starting this season off similar to how the series started off: with a "death." The series started off with what we believed was Daniel's death, only for us to find out later that it wasn't Daniel who was shot, but Tyler.
This time, there seems to be little left to misinterpretation. We see Emily on a beautiful candle-lit yacht at sunset in her wedding dress. She says, "I'm sorry" to someone off screen before that someone shoots two bullets into her stomach.
She falls off the yacht and into the water and floats as she bleeds from the bullet wounds and closes her eyes. But who shot her, you ask? Well, it looks like we're going to have to wait at least a couple of episodes before we find out.Back to the Hamptons
Two months before Emily's shot, it's been six months since Conrad won the governor's seat, Victoria's first born son Patrick came back, Nolan got arrested, Charlotte got knocked up, Declan died (I don't know about you, but I'm still not over this), Jack attempted to assassinate Conrad and Emily told him she was really Amanda Clarke to stop him.
But now Emily's living with Daniel in New York as he tries to find a new job so he can actually contribute to the household income. Nolan is just out of prison after the feds finally discovered the fail-safe in Carrion that not only exonerated him but named all of the members of the Initiative. And Jack has closed up the Stoleaway.
Victoria is joyously horseback riding with a strapping young man, who is clearly her son, Patrick. Charlotte doesn't realize that it's her half-brother, and she thinks her mother's having an affair because Patrick and Victoria have the weirdest
chemistry. He spends the whole episode telling her how fantastic she looks and how she's as "light as a feather" when he helps her off her horse. It's weird
Oh, and Charlotte? She's been in Paris for the past six months, getting bangs and a dark burgundy lipstick. And her baby was apparently miscarried, which is explained in one throw-away line of dialog by Victoria. Party Planning
Everybody knows that a Memorial Day party is the only way to start off the summer in the Hamptons. Conrad tells Daniel that he's beefing up security for the party Emily's planning, now that he's governor, and Daniel tells Emily about his plans. Of course, this is a problem because Emily is planning something sinister and the last thing she needs is more security.
So Emily meets Nolan to get around the security hiccup. She bought him a new house, by the way, and it has a stunning ocean view. Nolan says he's done cyber-revenging for a while, but he'll think of another way to help her.
Ashley sneaks up on Emily to tell her how bitter she is about not being invited to her party. She's also trying to blackmail her because she knows she's still in love with Jack. Oh no, honey, did you think you could blackmail Emily Thorne? That's so cute.
Some slinky French woman named Margo tries to get her flirt on with Daniel at a bar. He notices she's not wearing a bra. I only mention her because I have a feeling she's meant to be a temptation for Daniel to cheat on Emily, and she'll probably be back in episodes to come.
Speaking of cheating, when Emily hears that Jack is back in town, she goes to meet him at the Stowaway. She apologizes again and he tells her that because of a moment he shared with Baby Carl, he understands a child's love for their parent. They move closer together, he cradles her face, he goes in for the kiss and things start to get sexxxxxay.
But Jack pulls away and tells her that he didn't realize until just this moment that he feels nothing for her. He tells her that he'll keep her secret, but from now on, it's just him and Carl and he wants her to leave them alone. Damn. Things just went from so hot to so cold in no time flat.
Charlotte meets Patrick in the South Fork Inn, thinking she's caught her mother's boy toy red-handed. Instead, Patrick tells her that he's her brother, and Charlotte warns him to stay as far away from Victoria as possible saying, "My mother will destroy you, and if she doesn't, I will."
The Best New "It" Couples of Fall 2013 >>>A Memorable Memorial Day
Emily's garden party/Memorial Day party isn't just a gathering to start the summer, Conrad will also be unveiling his gubernatorial portrait. (Hopefully, it captures his "arctic pool" colored eyes.) Emily brings a friend over to talk to Ashley because she thought the two would "hit it off," which probably spells trouble for the both of them.
Nolan bypasses security by making an entrance via parachute. He's nearly given Conrad a heart attack, so Emily kindly offers him some water, which is not suspicious at all. Word to the wise: never accept even the most harmless-seeming gifts from Emily Thorne.
Conrad collapses during his speech, so they bring them to the hospital where the doctor (the guy chatting up Ashley earlier) tells them that Conrad has Huntington's disease. The family decides to keep it quiet before they know what their next move is.
Unfortunately, they have to make a quick decision because someone leaked the info to the press. They decide that Conrad has to step down as governor and Emily wastes no time in blaming Ashley for the leak. She tells Victoria, who saw the Doc and Ashley flirting at the party, that Ashley must have convinced him to tell her what happened, and then when she found out she leaked it to the press.
Victoria and Emily stand united to get rid of Ashley once and for all. They meet her at the airport where they tell her it's time to go back to London because Conrad's last act as governor was to access Ashley's cell phone records, where they found a text that tried to lead Jack to the site of the bomb and to his death. She boards the plane in her weird triangle-boob cocktail dress, and for the moment, Victoria thinks that she and Emily are on the same team. Guess Who's Back
In light of Conrad's tragic news, Emily agrees with Daniel to set a date for their wedding: August 8 (aka 8/8, aka double infinity). We flash back to see that Emily did indeed poison Conrad and then snuck the Huntington's diagnosis onto the doctor's laptop when he was getting coffee. You never knew tricking someone into believing they had a fatal disease was so easy, did you?
Jack meets Emily at her house to glower at her disapprovingly for almost killing Conrad. He tells her to finish what she needs to do by the end of the summer, or he' ll tell everyone the truth.
Meanwhile, back at Grayson Manor, Charlotte tells Victoria how ticked she is that she didn't tell her she had a brother. She says she's leaving and Victoria is all, "Bye, gurl."
And then the only remaining mystery is somewhat solved at the very end of the episode: Aiden is standing on the balcony in Victoria's bedroom.
"What are you doing here?" Victoria asks.
"The same as you. I'm looking to destroy the girl next door," Aiden says.
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