'Revenge' Recap: The Trouble with Fake Relationships
'Revenge' Recap: The Trouble with Fake Relationships
Gina Pusateri
Gina Pusateri
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
After the car accident at the end of last week's episode, Father Paul and Conrad are rushed to the hospital. Apparently, Father Paul didn't die on site, like I thought he did, but no matter because he heads into the light pretty soon after arriving to the hospital after going into cardiac arrest.

Emily meets Patrick at the place where he has been banished from going anywhere near Conrad. She manages to bond a bit with him by sympathizing being on the outside looking in at the Grayson family.

When Emily goes to see Conrad, Victoria and Daniel are already there. All of Conrad's injuries are superficial, mostly on his face, so he'll be released from the hospital soon. He says that his near-death experience has convinced him not to confess to framing David Clarke to the police.

Victoria says he'll be accused of manslaughter, but he said he won't because he wasn't driving the car -- Father Paul was -- or at least that's what he's planning on telling the police. All he needs is Emily to corroborate his story by telling the police he was on the passenger side of the car.

Later, Emily tells Nolan and Aiden that she thinks that Conrad ran the car into the pole intentionally so that he wouldn't have to confess, and to make sure that Father Paul never would either. 

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The New Victoria

Aww, poor Victoria! She isn't a gazillionaire anymore now that the Graysons are seeing some financial hard times. And she even has to sell some of her valuable paintings. (Gasp!) Patrick suggests that she sell them all, take the money and then get the hell out of the Hamptons. But Victoria says she could never leave Daniel and Charlotte.

Not only does Victoria have to sell her beloved paintings just to get by, but she may actually have to get a job. (Double gasp!) She asks her old friend Sheila, who owns a gallery, to hire her. Sheila is obviously taking a little too much pleasure in having the high and mighty Victoria Grayson come to her for a job. She suggests even having a reception for all of Victoria's friends to come see "the new Victoria." This girl Sheila better watch her back.

Emily's already in a state now that she knows that Conrad never really planned on confessing. She goes to see Daniel at work and finds out that he has already given her statement about the accident to the police, meaning that he's paid the police off. And of course, she is less than pleased to see this. In a moment of uncalculated rage, Emily gives an assistant at the magazine some over-sharing information about Daniel for his printed bio in his magazine.

Also, quite predictably, Daniel is as equally mad at Emily for printing info about his DUI in his bio. They have a big fight; Emily calls him disgusting and then leaves. He threatens her that if she leaves, he won't be there when she gets back. And she's like, bye girl.

Who Are You?

Nolan and Patrick have another run-in at the beach club, and we all get to reap the benefits of their beautiful chemistry. Patrick tells Nolan he's thinking of leaving the Hamptons because he feels like he doesn't belong. Nolan takes the opportunity to steal Patrick's wallet when he goes for a swim. Naughty Nolan.

Nolan lifts the moratorium on using technology in order to do some digging into who Patrick Osbourne really is. He ends up taking a field trip to Florida where he meets a pretty blonde who is Patrick's ex-wife. At first, she doesn't want to talk to him but opens up after he offers her $20,000.

Meanwhile, back in the Hamptons, Patrick tries to approach Sheila the gallery owner about selling one of Victoria's paintings. He says he needs some fast cash before he leaves the Hamptons. At first, she declines, saying that she needs the proper documentation in order to purchase artwork. But he convinces her to circumvent the rules just this once.

Emily is using her ninja skills that she learned at Revenge University to sneak into the junkyard where Conrad's totaled car is. But she's startled to find out that Jack is already there, investigating the car in question. He uses his camera phone to get footage of the car, and they put their heads together to figure out that the airbag had been removed from the passenger side but activated on the driver's side, and since Conrad had marks on his face and Father Paul didn't, it's clear that Conrad was driving.

But wait! Just when they think they've nailed Conrad, Jack does some more investigation on the footage he took of the car, and someone tampered with the brakes on Conrad's car, so who was driving would be irrelevant.

But who tampered with the brakes? Victoria? She did tell Conrad confessing would be the last thing he ever did right before he got in the car. Aiden? But he swears to Emily he didn't. My money's on Patrick, who seems to have a disturbing amount of mommy issues and wants Victoria all to himself.

Emily is forced to reveal to Aiden that Jack knows who she really is. Aiden does not take the news very well, either because he can't believe all of the people who are getting involved in this mess or because he's jealous of how Emily obviously feels toward Jack.

Art Con Artists

At the art reception, Emily wants to make amends with Daniel. But Conrad's given him the advice to not surrender to her, so he decides not to go. Victoria takes a ton of pleasure in rubbing it in Emily's face that there's trouble in paradise.

Victoria tells Sheila that she knows she's trying to sell a piece of art that she owns. She threatens to call the cops, but Sheila protests. Victoria tells her that the only way she won't call the cops is if Sheila hands over the gallery to her and then leaves the Hamptons. Obviously, Sheila agrees because one doesn't simply argue with Victoria Grayson.

And -- surprise, surprise -- Patrick was in on it the whole time. Looks like he's staying in the Hamptons with mommy dearest for a bit longer after all.

And it's a good thing because after the gallery party, Patrick meets Nolan. Nolan tells Patrick he's learned about his past and goes in for the kiss ... but is denied. What?! No! But don't worry, that just makes the moment sexier because Patrick is j/k. He grabs Nolan and kisses him and it's magical. Patrick and Nolan forever. Patlan. Nolrick. Okay, so their couple name is still a work in progress.

Fake Love Ain't Easy

Conrad calls the whole Grayson brood to the manor for some major news. He tells them all in dramatic fashion that he found out after his last visit to the hospital that he was misdiagnosed with Huntington's disease. Now he thinks he has beaten God and seems to have some grandiose plans for restoring his family's wealth.

Emily tries to make things better with Daniel. He asks her if she still wants to marry him. She says yes, of course, because she loves him. And his response is telling her that he's going back to the South Fork Inn for a while. That's cold, Daniel.

Conrad tells Victoria that he wants Aiden out of the pool house. She refuses, though, telling Conrad that Aiden is their best bet to break up Emily and Daniel. Aiden sneaks into the office while they're talking to drop a bomb on Conrad. He tells him that his brakes were tampered with and he thinks Jack Porter is the one responsible. Looks like now we know that Aiden is officially jealous. And also threatening to ruin Emily's plans. Again. 

Revenge airs Sundays at 9pm on ABC.

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(Image courtesy of ABC)