Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious

Last time on Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, the girls got makeovers that were completely underwhelming and left them looking more or less the same.  However, Jamie couldn't deal with the trauma of her hair being lightened and proceeded to complain about it for the entire episode.  This follicle tragedy flustered her enough to land her in the bottom two for the week, but it was ultimately Cassandra who went home for butchering Blondie's "Heart of Glass."

Tonight's episode finds some of the girls getting into a late-night confrontation in the kitchen, forcing one of them to ponder quitting the competition.  We can only hope there's a food fight involved.

The girls in the loft are starting to divide themselves into separate cliques, but there's no time to worry about that before this week's challenge.  Robin Antin shows up to tell them that they'll be focusing on their sexiness this time out, and nothing is sexier than rock songs.  Nichole, Jenna, and Chrystina will be doing Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot."  Carrie, Ilisa, and Tiffanie will be tackling Janis Joplin's "Piece of My Heart."  Last but not least, Jamie, Natalie, and Charlye will be performing "I Want You to Want Me" by Cheap Trick.

As if rocking out for the judges isn't tough enough, the girls have an extra reason to worry this week:  two of them will be eliminated.

In rehearsals, it becomes evident once again that Jenna can't really dance.  Choreographer Mikey Minden repeatedly tells her that she's doing a terrible job.  Another person who has a problem is Ilisa, who always has a facial expression while she sings that makes her look like she smelled something foul.  However, these issues are nothing compared to what Natalie is going through.  She finds out from her mom that her grandmother passed away.

Natalie vows to stay in the competition, saying that it's what her grandma would have wanted.  The girls comfort her in her time of need, and this show officially takes a turn toward the genuine that I can't snark upon.

Blake McGrath, who I've never heard of in my life, arrives to help the girls with their dancing.  He's brought along a bunch of professional male dancers as well.  Each girl is paired with a guy, and they're given 30 minutes to put together a sexy routine to a Nelly Furtado song.

After the speedy rehearsal, it's time for a dance off!  It feels like Step Up 3: Skanks On Parade is filming in the studio.  Jenna acts like she's in a porn video instead of on the dance floor, and Tiffanie also fails to exude sex appeal.  One by one the girls are eliminated for not being sexy enough, until only Chrystina is left standing.  She wins the honor of being sexiest and therefore cannot be eliminated this week.  She also wins a Hello Kitty diamond necklace, which, uh. . .I guess is a prize?

Back at the loft, Charlye is making fun of the other girls for their porn-tastic performances.  When the girls hear about this behind the back smack talking, the epic kitchen confrontation begins.  Tiffanie is supremely pissed about Charlye's comments and runs in yelling and screaming about it.  This is awesome, awesome drama, reminiscent of the best moments from America's Next Top Model.  Pretty much everyone thinks that Charlye is a giant bitch, and I can't say I blame them.

Nobody is more affected by the dramatic outburst than Jenna, who decides she wants to quit the competition the next morning.  She sleeps in instead of going to rehearsal, which means that Robin has to come to the loft for some tough love.  Jenna never wants to be in a group with Charlye, Tiffanie, or Nichole, so she'd rather just go home and avoid the evil girls.  However, she quickly shakes off her funk and decides to rejoin the competition.

Alright, it's time for the girls to do their best rocker impersonations.  "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" is the first song on the docket, and while I'm confused as to why the girls are wearing cheerleader outfits, the performance is pretty good.  Chrystina stands out as the MVP and garners the most praise, but Jenna also gets kudos for giving it her all.

Janis Joplin rolls in her grave as "Piece of My Heart" gets turned into a bizarre stripper anthem.  It's well sung, though you wouldn't know it by looking at the permanent half smile etched into Robin's face.  Carrie gives an especially awesome performance, adding a rocker edge that the song desperately needs.  Ilisa was devoid of sexiness and emotion, which isn't a big surprise since she's been feeling insecure about her attractiveness during the entire episode.

"I Want You to Want Me" is the last song to be performed, and this time it's evil Charlye who brings the most rocker edge.  Natalie wishes she could rock, but she can't really pull it off.  The judges think she's distracted by her family tragedy, but I think she's just not a great singer.  Jamie has some pitch problems and weak vocals, but she's got the right look and the right moves.

While the judges deliberate, they point out that Charlye has a really nice personality, which makes me laugh.  Obviously the front she puts on for the judges is a bit different than what the other girls see.  Natalie, Jamie, Ilisa, and Jenna are the bottom four this week.  Natalie and Jenna stay, meaning that Ilisa and Jamie are getting their boas taken away tonight.  I'm shocked that Ilisa went home, but I guess she didn't have the right combination of sexiness and talent.  As for Jamie, her poor vocals and lightened hair finally did her in. Oddly enough, it's the girl who almost dropped out of the race who gets to stay another week.  Jenna better count her blessings and stop doubting her place in the competition if she really wants a spot in Girlicious.


- Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of the CW)