This week on Pretty Little Liars
, Spencer finally completely loses her mind and it's a glorious thing to behold. If you've been enjoying the half vampire, half rage-monster Spencer has become since finding out about Toby, than this was unhinged Spencer at her very best.
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On a skank spiral and with nothing to lose (her hairbrush having been lost many
weeks ago) Spencer finally just snaps and dives directly for Mona's
jugular. It was like watching one of those nature documentaries on the
science channel. Or like that moment in Mean Girls
when Lindsay Lohan
imagines the mall fountain as the communal watering hole. If it wasn't
for Wren and the surprisingly jacked academic decathlon member Andrew,
Spencer would have ripped out Mona's throat and then retaken her tribe
(PS: I think the show is giving teenage girls
unrealistic ideas about life. Namely, that dudes in the academic
decathlon look like extras from Magic Mike
. The only magic there
is the magic of television. Your debate team is probably not hiding an
Abercrombie model. The more you know!)
Spencer's amazing mental breakdown was clearly the highlight of this episode, the rest of the hour being more of a mixed bag. As usual, with Spencer off getting good intervention from Wren, poor Emily is left being the only Nancy Drew of the group. Meanwhile Hanna wraps herself more firmly in Caleb's uncle-daddy storyline, while Aria's big plot of the night involved spilling wine on a rug.
I've mentioned it before, but sometimes it literally feels like Aria is on a completely different show than the rest of the girls. Spencer is going insane, Hanna is reuniting her boyfriend with his deadbeat dad, Emily is almost being chopped in half by an elevator, and Aria is...trying to figure out how to lift a red wine stain out of a white rug. One of these things is not like the others.
Every episode of Pretty Little Liars
usually contains about five thousand working parts and subplots. How they tie together can sometimes be a hodgepodge. Such is the case with this episode, where every moment we aren't watching Spencer play strip academia seemed like a waste of perfectly good meltdown screen time.
Giving the girls fairly equal screen time really didn't work this week. Spencer and Emily's plots were a lot stronger and more interesting than Hanna and Aria's relationship capers. Who wouldn't rather get to the bottom of the Alison mystery or watch Spencer leap across a table to strangle Mona?
Next week it looks like the girls join forces again, but for this week the scattered plots made for an entertaining yet ultimately equally scattered episode. Spencer Snaps
This episode was Spencer's show and once again Troian Bellisario dominates. This week, however, major props have to be given to the writers who dreamed up some truly killer one-liners for Spencer. From talking about Wren giving good intervention to cracking wise about her "cupcakes", Spencer was seriously on fire this week. (Speaking of, if Spencer ever started a pop career "My Cupcakes" would be her first hit single.)
Up until now we've seen sad, near-tears Spencer. But after all that grief, Spencer decided it was time to invest in a good ol' downward spiral. Unsurprisingly Spencer does downward spirals in her usual Hastings fashion: means she commits to it, hard.
She plays strip knowledge-off with Andrew after getting kicked out of the academic decathlon. She gets into a fight with Emily. She doesn't even notice that Melissa is being nice to her, which is usually a clear sign to be very afraid.
Soon Wren shows up, because apparently Wren can sense when underage girls are single and vulnerable, like some kind of pervert Bat signal.
She gets Wren to drive her out to the decathlon, where she originally just intends on threatening to leak Mona's mental health files. (What would those look like though? "Today Mona gave everyone makeovers. Apparently I am an autumn! Today Mona made a paper mache doll head that looks exactly like her. "It's not for sneaking out!" she assured me. I believed her, because here at Radley we have an all-idiot custodian policy.")
But after Mona accuses Spencer of having no one left, no friends in sight, Spencer finally just loses her ever-loving mind and tries to straight up murder her. It's amazing.
I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as Spencer Hastings shouting "die!" and jumping over the table at Mona, and earlier in the episode she referred to her boobs as cupcakes. Tramp spiral Spencer is the greatest Spencer of all.
Wren covers up for Spencer's mental breakdown with Melissa, because he's a good guy to have in your corner during a mental episode. Hey, remember when Wren was engaged to Melissa? Or when he hit on Hanna? Man, Wren really gets around. Elevator of Terror
With Spencer out of commission due to a case of what I'm going to call the fabulous crazies, Emily takes up the mantle of getting things done. Honestly, it really did fall to Emily because would you trust Hanna or Aria to investigate? So it's Detective Emily Fields to the rescue!
Emily goes to see Jason to attempt to put out the fire Spencer set with reckless abandon last week. But Jason wants to know more about what happened between Alison and Wilden that summer. And apparently 'A' thinks Jason should just shut and go back to drinking.
The two finally track down a picture of Alison on a boat, which reveals both she and CeCe were cozy with Wilden that summer. Even more shocking? Jason drunkenly remembers seeing CeCe in Alison's signature yellow tank top talking to Melissa. But was that really CeCe or did he see Alison? Was he too drunk to tell the difference?
On the way out of the building, the elevator suddenly gets stuck between floors. Jason tells Emily she should jump the gap between the partially opened elevator door and the floor below. As a person who was in New York around the time a person literally got chopped in half by an elevator, this was the most stressful moment of Pretty Little Liars
I've ever sat through.
After Emily escapes, the elevator plummets with Jason inside. But don't worry, soon he's in the hospital with his shirt off. Rosewood: where our medical care is inept, yet sexy! I'm guessing neither Emily nor Jason will be taking a visit to the Tower of Terror in Disney World anytime soon.
Jason says he's finally starting to see the wisdom of Spencer's warning that being a former NAT club member might be dangerous. Especially since he woke up in that elevator without the picture.
But because this is Rosewood, incompetent security capital of the U.S., as soon as Emily leaves the room Jason disappears. Where is he? Did he take off or did the 'A' team finally track him down?
Most importantly: Will he ever find his shirt? It looks kind of cold outside.
Elsewhere in Rosewood...
- Hanna and Caleb get in a big fight, but eventually she accompanies him to reconnect with his uncle-father. It's like I'm watching an episode of the Jerry Springer
- Aria wears plaid, polka dots, and stripes ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
- Mama Fitzgerald finally tracks Wesley down, so he accompanies Aria to a photoshoot for CeCe. The two spill red wine and it is the worst thing to ever happen. Ever! Across town, Emily is nearly cut in half by an elevator. Seriously though, the stain is spreading! No one's life is harder than ours!
- Hanna gets Pastor Ted to offer Uncle-Daddy Jaime a job. But then he steals some money from the church so he's still probably bad news. Whoops!
- Ashley Marin shows up to chastise Hanna and Caleb for making out in church, then entices them home for pizza and beer. Because nothing says 'parent of the year' like offering a teenager beer in a church.
- CeCe lies about her car breaking down for no reason at all.
- Wesley quotes some poetry at Aria and then the two kiss, because a well-developed sense of pretentiousness is Aria's kryptonite.
- The 'A' team plays spin-the-bottle with liar-themed alcohol and then drinks out of the Spencer bottle. I think Spencer is unhinged enough without adding alcohol to the mix.
Next week: Spencer confesses a big secret, Aria sees how many more patterns she can mix before our eyeballs explode, and Spencer pulls a Hannah from Girls
and gets trapped in a shower.
What did you think of this week's episode? Did you love crazy Spencer? What did you think of the Aria and Wesley kiss? And what's going on with Jason? Share in the comments!You don't need A to keep up with all the lies. Just add Pretty Little Liars to your very own watch-list so you can keep up with all the suspects in Rosewood. Download the BuddyTV Guide for free for your phone.(Image courtesy of ABC Family)