This week on Pretty Little Liars
, Hanna and Aria spend some quality time in an insane asylum with Mona getting all Da Vinci Code
with her wordplay. I can't wait until we figure out how Mary Magdalene fits into all this. While half of our quartet of liars are hanging out in the creepiest asylum of all time, the rest of the girls are sabotaging relationships and aiding and abetting a felony. As usual, the liars have the weirdest social lives of all time.
Pretty Little Liars
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can often be a very creepy show. The central conceit of the show is that a crazy person is following around four teenaged girls at all times, sending them weird messages in their Cheerios. That's not even taking into account how everyone in Rosewood seems one bad day away from snapping and becoming a serial killer.
Most of the time the show mixes these horror elements with mystery and teen drama, which dilutes the scary. This week the show went full out horror movie in one of the strongest episodes of the whole season. It will be hard to get Mona's creepy humming and scary anagrams out of my head tonight.
While we got some additional clues, almost every liar found themselves with another secret on their already full plate. If the walls in Rosewood, Pennsylvania could talk they would say, "Enough with the creepy dolls already!" It's in the Blood
Hanna wakes up to some bad news, Wilden is on the case and he wants to match up the blood on the anklet. Since Hanna is O Negative and so is the blood, Wilden is thinking she might be the culprit. So is Alison's father, who shows up this week with a vendetta already against Hanna.
Why? Well that goes back to an Ouija board, a ghost and a thunderstorm, as most things on this show inevitably do. After an Ouija board covered in needles shows Hanna how simple it is to get her blood, we find out just why Hanna put the Ouija paddle in Alison's coffin.
Can I take a moment to just say how terrible each of the coffin mementos are that we've seen so far? First it was the earring from the time Alison and Aria trashed her cheating dad's office. Now it's an Ouija paddle from the time Hanna saw Alison's ghost. What's the next touching memento going to be? The hammer Spencer and Alison used one time to beat a hobo to death? Geez!
In flashback-land, its three days before Alison's body is found. Hanna and Mona are playing with an Ouija board and Mona is being super creepy asking about Alison. When they ask about her, the board spells out ALIVE and Hanna looks up to see Alison looking in at her.
After this traumatic event, Hanna called Alison's mother to say she was alive. Unfortunately, three days later they found the body and Alison's father has been mad at Hanna ever since. That's why he wants to test her blood out.
Back in the flashback land of questionable Hanna wigs, Mona is teaching Hanna about anagrams they can use to talk about people in front of their faces. Alison's father comes running up and yelling at Hanna about how she gave his family false hope. Despite Spencer's mother being on the case, Hanna's blood is still in the crosshairs. Is it really her blood on the anklet? No One To Save Ali From Evil
Aria goes to see Mona in Radley to see if she can get her to crack about her possible co-conspirators. The Radley attendant instantly becomes my hero when she makes Aria take off her hideously ugly neon green earrings. Between the attendant and Ella making fun of her daughter's tendency to wear forks as earrings, I highly approve of everyone making fun of Aria's weird fashion choices.
Mona doesn't give Aria much, except to say she's sorry bad things are happening to Hanna and to make a pretty impressive card castle. Outside, Hanna decides the two should break back in and talk to Mona without a chaperone. Once again, I question the logic of letting Hanna and Aria make big decisions by themselves. Something bad usually happens, like they let a homicidal person out to wander in the creepiest asylum of all time while they reminisce.
Back in the present, the girls follow Mona into the abandoned children's wing of Radley. You'd think an asylum for the mentally unstable would try to cut back on rooms that would give you nightmares for the rest of your life. But we know by now the Rosewood motto is: hey, can't that be creepier? So I'm not sure why I'm even surprised.
Mona is sitting in the abandoned wing, humming to herself and brushing a creepy doll's creepy hair while looking like that little girl from The Ring
. It's more than a little bit scary. Mona is just repeating what sounds like nonsense over and over again. "No one to save Ali from evil." "Ms Aria, you're a killer not Ezra's wife." "Where were we? Maya's away, sleeping sweet. Until Garrett's all rosy, count on me."
Aria and Hanna hide out in a closet while the nonchalant attendants take Mona back to her room. Dude, how often to murderous patients break out of their rooms in Radley and just wander around to hang out with evil dolls? I probably don't want to know.
Later, Hanna remembers the anagrams and they realize that she was saying "Not safe". She was also saying a website address www.massugar.com. On the address they find a picture of Maya and a password protection. Oh, and the first anagram about Ms. Aria? That spells out Maya Knew. Very creepy, but what does it all mean? And did Mona know about the tape recorder A removed from the doll's head the whole time? Were her messages coded to avoid "A?"CeCe Drake Appears
If the girls aren't too busy cracking codes and hanging out in insane asylums, now they have to deal with wild child CeCe Drake. They first notice CeCe because she's just like Ali, down to her saying about a good lie being better than the truth and the way that she seems to know everything. It turns out that she does know everything, because she and Alison used to be friends. She even dated Jason.
She sees that Emily is uncomfortable about Nate dating Jenna, but isn't sure why once she realizes Emily is the girl who was once in love with Alison. Emily tries to tell Nate that Jenna is a creepy weirdo who will probably kill Nate and turn him into a whimsical hat to wear at her next party, but he's not hearing it.
So CeCe takes matters into her own hands. She grabs Emily's phone and calls Jenna pretending to be Nate's angry girlfriend. Wouldn't the fact that she's calling from Emily's phone kind of give her away though? I mean, it's not like she's prank calling someone from a landline in the 90s. And considering how big a stalker Jenna is, I'm pretty sure she has Emily's number. Still, ineffective or not CeCe is clearly going to mean trouble for the girls.The Crash
Meanwhile, Spencer is just sitting around being Spencer, which means blowing Toby off and putting more timelines on her computer mystery board. Some people have dream boards of places to visit or Pinterest boards of cute hairstyles. Spencer has a board to help her track the murder mystery of the week.
Toby is getting upset that Spencer is shutting him out, mentioning rightly that she once upon a time was convinced without a shadow of a doubt that he was a murderer. To be fair, he acted a lot more sketchy back then and we hadn't yet seen his abs in all their innocent glory.
Jason is also upset with his father back in town. He reverts to old habits, getting into a drunk driving accident right in front of Spencer. Spencer makes a truly poor decision and drives Jason away from the scene of the crime, leaving her own car behind in the process.
She manages to get home before the cops come calling, asking why her car was present at an accident scene. Toby covers for her, saying she was there all night and it must have been stolen. When Toby finds out the truth, he's angry and upset at Spencer. These girls should seriously get some kind of police frequent customer cards. I'm pretty sure they are single-handedly keeping the Rosewood police department in business.
Next week Caleb uses his super hacker abilities to crack into the website, someone yells at Aria about something other than her fashion sense, and the girls set up a camera on a swivel fan to catch the ghost of Alison in action but only manage to catch Pastor Ted perving on another divorced mother.
What did you think of this week's episode? Were you seriously creeped out? What do you think Maya knew? Is it Hanna's blood on that anklet? And what's behind the firewall on the website? Share your theories in the comments!Morgan GlennonContributing Writer(Image courtesy of ABC Family)