'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: Heeeere's Porsha
'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: Heeeere's Porsha
Dani  Stone
Dani Stone
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
If you've been waiting like an anxious poodle for the newest castmate to make her entrance, well, honey hush, 'cause here she is in all of her high maintenance splendor. Tonight, Miss Porsha Stewart takes center stage, and by the end of the night, she's already ruffling feathers and making waves.

Walk with me as I recap "Call Me Miss U.S.A." and tell you which famous television host is letting NeNe Leakes and Rosie O'Donnell team up as guest hosts for his show tomorrow.

Gregg the Poet

Not so long ago, Gregg and NeNe were on the verge of a divorce, but now these two seem to be falling back into a comfortable rhythm. In this episode, they go to a salon for his/her pedicures where Gregg declares the water to be "hot enough to fry chicken." NeNe, who is preparing for a trip to New York to do press for her sitcom, The New Normal, asks Gregg to check in on her son, Bryson. Gregg, warm from the wine and chicken-frying pedicure water, tries to harness his inner Shakespeare as he lobs mini sonnets her way, including, "I want the key to your door like I never had before." 

License to Donkey That Booty

Phaedra is excited to learn Apollo has completed certification to be a nutrition expert and personal fitness trainer. Now she's ready to move forward with their instructional DVD on how to achieve the perfect round "donkey booty" and points to her own tush as the perfect example, saying, "God gave me two scoops." 

All I Need is This Vase and All These M'F***ing Flowers

Still pregnant with baby number four and pondering where her growing family is going to live following the "misunderstanding eviction" from the current manse, Kim appears briefly in this episode, where she dictates notes to reluctant assistant Sweetie. She issues a directive, saying, "I spent $40,000 on the landscaping here for our wedding. I want every last m'f***ing flower out of this yard." Kroy sits beside her holding a dog so tiny and scruffy, I thought the kids brought home a pet guinea pig from school.  

Heeeere's Porsha

Finally, we get a glimpse of Atlanta's newest belle when she invites Kenya to lunch to inquire about using Kenya's celebrity status for her latest charity event. Kenya mentions to the viewers again how she's frequently invited to all the best parties because of who she is. Unfortunately, psst, Porsha is a little confused about who that is, exactly. More on that in a minute. 

Tonight, we're introduced to Porsha's fabulous life. She's the granddaughter of the late civil rights leader Hosea Williams and works with his charity, "Hosea Feed the Hungry." She's also a newlywed to former NFL star Kordell Stewart. She describes a perfect day this way: "I call one of my various girlfriends who don't work, we go out for a fabulous lunch and then I come home to my husband." 

Cynthia Shows NeNe the Real New York

While in New York, NeNe meets up with Cynthia, who is already there on a modeling assignment. Cynthia can't believe NeNe has never taken the subway and is bound and determined to show her a day in the life of the average New Yorker. NeNe reluctantly takes the subway, wearing Louis Vuitton stilettos, and watches in horror as Cynthia purchases and eats a hot dog from a street vendor. I think NeNe would rather stick with town cars and room service. 

No, You're Disrespectful

Kenya arrives at Porsha's charity event, but she's underwhelmed by the guest list and, aside from a brief pop-in from Porsha's hunky husband, considers herself to be the most famous person there. Unfortunately, the hostess makes her "famous" appearance awkward by introducing her as Miss America instead of Miss USA and completely forgets what year Kenya won the title. Kenya bristles and spends the next few minutes looking highly annoyed, picking through her salad and telling anyone who will listen about how cold it is inside the event. Eventually, she excuses herself to go outside and wait for Miss Lawrence, who is on his way to join her. 

When Lawrence arrives, Kenya is in a complete tizzy, describing how Porsha embarrassed her and even referring to the dazzling but slightly ditsy hostess as "that heffer." Porsha goes outside to check on the women and overhears a portion of the conversation. Well then, as you can imagine, it was awwn.

Kenya tells Porsha she feels completely disrespected that she was even invited to such a "wack event," and that she was introduced with the wrong title.

Porsha volleys back, saying Kenya has disrespected "her legacy," and that Kenya obviously doesn't "care about the children." I'm assuming she's referring to the charity, but honestly, with Porsha you never know. She's the queen of random segues. 

In the end, Porsha tries to kick Kenya out of the party, but Kenya informs her, "Honey, she is already gone." 

I don't think these are the last fireworks we'll see from these two. 

NeNe and Rosie O'Donnell Fill In for Anderson Cooper

Don't miss a very special Anderson Live tomorrow. While he's on assignment in Israel, he's turning the studio over to Rosie and NeNe. I think these two will be funny, raw and real. I can't wait.

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(Image courtesy of Bravo)

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